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01-09-2010, 01:18 PM | #31 |
We get insurance, right?
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: At the Cobra, Cobracabana
Posts: 6,612
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Quote:
I never got help, and neither did any of the guys I served with that I know of, as long as I kept touch with them. I know that the people around me paid for that ignorance. I wish I had been smart and strong enough to admit that I needed help. Suffering in silence is just that. Suffering.
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01-09-2010, 01:22 PM | #32 |
Banned
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Germany
Posts: 839
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I'm sure it will work out.
The majority of replies to her posting have not only been sympathetic, but also helpful. Now she knows where to get professional help and in this case knowing is half the cure. Just a couple of weeks ago, the goalkeeper of our National Soccer Team committed suicide because he couldn't cope with his stress syndrome any longer. His wife held a very true and moving podium discussion about the situation a few days after and stated that she had believed that her love would have been enough to get them through this. He had refused to see a therapist because he did not want to appear ill and weak to the public. So that's all I can say: get help, check out Wounded Warrior Project - Home, too. They might be another asset for you. Last edited by Stuart_Selkirk; 01-09-2010 at 01:31 PM.. |
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01-09-2010, 01:44 PM | #33 |
Hisstank lackey
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: In the Land that Time Forgot
Posts: 9,597
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Are you freakin' kidding me? Why are we sympathizing with her? Because we care. With all due respect, you need to check yourself. She came on here with a real problem, turning to people she knows care for her and her family, for support. Knowing that many of us are veterans, and/or the family or friends of one or more, she likely hoped to find comfort and the advice of those who have delt with PTSD in one way or another. I never read in her original post anything that made me feel like she simply wanted to "give up". I read it as a post from a girl who is concerned for the man she loves, and their future together.
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01-09-2010, 02:05 PM | #34 |
Remember the Dead
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: SunshineState
Posts: 801
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Quote:
I know this is a lot to read but I need advice on how to deal with my husband who is suffering from severe PTSD. And on top of that, I need to feel like at least someone is listening to me right now.
My husband and I have had the greatest relationship since we met 6 years ago. He has been the most amazing, loving, caring, gentle man to me ever. We lost touch for about 3 of those 6 years but ended up finding each other shortly before he was to deploy to Iraq. So, we started dating a few days before he went to Iraq in April of '08 and was gone for about 8 months. He called everyday, we wrote letters, sent pictures, and me surprising him by sending him boxes of joes so that he could have a little bit of back home there with him. He seemed happy, and fine. Unfortunately, He was diagnosed with severe PTSD when he returned home and has been home for a year since December of '09. We got married in April of '09, so we're still technically newlyweds at only 8 months of marriage...Anyways, at first I didn't want to believe he had ptsd or that it wasn't as bad as he was told. But within the last few months things have gotten worse, and fast. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time, and I feel like no matter what I say or do that he's going to explode on me, and I feel like a POS wife. He says he's going to get help and has acknowledged that he needs it but when he gets angry and blows up he always says how he doesn't need anyone, or anyone's help. I'm trying to deal with this in the best christian way possible. We go to church, and quite a few people in our church are in the guard as well, but he just won't talk to them..or me for that matter! I'm always told how "You're a civilian, you won't understand!" I may not understand but at least I'm willing to listen right?! He does apologize after his blow ups (most of the time) but it still isn't fair. I'm tired of getting my feelings hurt, I'm tired of feeling like I'm not as important to him as the army is, I'm tired of him telling me how feelings don't matter and him not listening to me and my feelings when I need him to, and I'm tired of feeling like I'm less of a person than he is. I'll admit that I may not treat him right all the time, but when I don't it's simply because of how inferior I feel or how scared I am of him sometimes. There's more to it but I've already said enough and you get the picture. All in all, I love my husband VERY much and I'd do anything for him, and anything to help him get better but at this point I just give up. I don't know how to deal with him having ptsd, I don't know what to do. I know he loves me because I feel it, and I see it...less now than I used to..but I want the sweet, loving, giving, AMAZING, guy that I met and fell in love with...I want him to be the man he was before going to Iraq....when he cared about making me happy and making me smile and laugh all the time..when I actually felt like I was the sparkle in his eyes because now there's none but I don't think it'll ever happen. Thank you to whoever takes the time to read all of this...It's greatly appreciated.
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01-09-2010, 02:15 PM | #35 |
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: HELL
Posts: 6,074
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Quote:
I don't understand how people deal try to deal with these things. My only advice would be to let em go, but that is apparently easier said then done. I have always been the type of person, to immediately cut people off from my life the minute they start bring negative energy into it. I am a very positive person and I remain this way mostly due to the fact that I don't allow negativity into my cipher. That is one of the best pieces of advice I can give anyone. If you want to achieve love, peace & happiness, you have to keep positive people and positive energy in your circumference at all times and reject or deflect the negative.
You see many things in service, and some are horrifying to deal with.
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01-09-2010, 02:21 PM | #36 |
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: HELL
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Mrs. Riot...
It's tough and it sucks. But I am sure your love will overcome all odds. Stick with it. It sounds as if he may be too proud to ask for help even though he desperately needs it. Gather some family and friends for an intervention, and get him to a PTSD counselor, even if it takes threatening him. When all is said and done, he'll appreciate and understand. Wish you well my friend! Jerry
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01-09-2010, 02:38 PM | #37 |
Cobra puppet therapist
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Area 51, Nevada
Posts: 10,127
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Quote:
The hardest part (and most often neglected) of dealing with PTSD is understanding that as a member of the military, you're constantly drilled on what to do in combat situations, and then after surviving that experience you're suddenly removed from it, and expected to go right back into a regular, normal life.
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01-09-2010, 02:48 PM | #38 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Cobradelphia
Posts: 1,811
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You see just as many horrifying things growing up in the projects. And just like the projects, it effects people differently, but that being said, even if he is going through something difficult in his life, if he can't just snap out of it and man up, then why should she have to suffer? Life is easy. Or it can be terrible. It is what you make it, thats what it all boils down to. And I refuse to keep negativity in my cipher, therefor I would remove the negative person from my life until they come to that realization, that life is easy if you make it so.
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01-09-2010, 02:52 PM | #39 |
Cobra puppet therapist
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Area 51, Nevada
Posts: 10,127
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This is actually true, growing up in a bad gang neighborhood has a similar effect to PTSD.
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01-09-2010, 03:00 PM | #40 |
Iron Grenadier
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: LA,California
Posts: 662
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I think you have to confront him and tell him basically everything you told us. Whether he is a solider or not and has a disorder or not he is man and you are his wife. If he really loves you he will man up and realize the hurt he's putting you through... and himself.
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