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09-30-2015, 12:43 AM | #198921 |
CG Immortal Commander
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 19,277
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Quote:
Got a new gig at Extensive Enterprises BAT warehouse as security (nightshift)
This was the 'training' message I got on the first night. "Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay? Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Extensive Enterprises. The best place for arms dealers and gun runners alike, where combat and fun come to life. Extensive Enterprises is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced." Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the Battle Android Troopers here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to shoot those same stupid Joes for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these BATs hold a special place in the heart of Cobra Commander and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay. So, just be aware, the BATs do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Flaming of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without 70% of its skin, you know? Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these BATs, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll p-most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its armor on. Now since that's against the rules here at Extensive Enterprises, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a BAT armor. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and robotic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh. Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night. - Televiper |
09-30-2015, 10:08 AM | #198922 |
Lightning IG
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Hutto, Texas
Posts: 9,773
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Yep much of the same!
__________________
Bring the Rain!! |
10-01-2015, 01:18 AM | #198923 |
Cobra K-9 Handler
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: SoCal Terrordrome
Posts: 919
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Dont blame me, Panzer has gone feral, now no one is safe. ;P
__________________
GI Joe Battlegrounds RIP |
10-01-2015, 08:41 PM | #198924 |
Social Distancing Expert
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: In my basement changing O-Rings
Posts: 5,721
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He's pissed you didn't include him in your current sig... Haha
__________________
https://instagram.com/gijoe.junkie?i...Q5ZDc2ODk2ZA== |
10-02-2015, 06:08 PM | #198925 |
Drummer Viper
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,256
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Happy Friday Cobra!!
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10-06-2015, 09:44 AM | #198926 |
Lightning IG
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Hutto, Texas
Posts: 9,773
|
Yep that sounds about right!
__________________
Bring the Rain!! |
10-06-2015, 07:38 PM | #198927 |
Social Distancing Expert
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: In my basement changing O-Rings
Posts: 5,721
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Now what
__________________
https://instagram.com/gijoe.junkie?i...Q5ZDc2ODk2ZA== |
10-06-2015, 08:36 PM | #198928 |
Question Authority
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Maine
Posts: 12,980
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10-06-2015, 08:44 PM | #198929 |
Social Distancing Expert
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: In my basement changing O-Rings
Posts: 5,721
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Quit my job but still get the paycheck
__________________
https://instagram.com/gijoe.junkie?i...Q5ZDc2ODk2ZA== |
10-06-2015, 09:34 PM | #198930 |
Question Authority
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Maine
Posts: 12,980
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What's been going on in the Terror Drome anyway? There better be some beer left in the fridge. I left a 12-pack in there a while back.
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