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04-22-2010, 07:50 PM | #11 |
Cobra Intel
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4,753
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Been there done that. Still don't have any answers for ya even after 38 years. Living under the same roof is not the way to go. My Mom is overly negative, self centered, selfish, insecure, superficial, and a constant liar. But she's still my Mom.
Distance helps, but not a total solution. At this point she'll never change, and talking has never worked. No matter what you do, or don't do you're screwed. Only thing you can really do is limit your interaction and avoid confrontation at all costs. Unfortunately that also usually limits the interaction with Dad as well. |
04-22-2010, 07:51 PM | #12 |
Hisstank.Com General
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 5,841
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It sounds like she's annoying, but at the end of the day she's letting you live in her house (for free/really low rent I assume from your post), so she obviously cares about you. So don't complain while she's helping you out. I know it;'s not what you want to hear, but you are at fault here. Once you are depending on someone for the roof over your head, you owe them a lot more then they owe you.
I've always had a good relationship with my parents, but I have to say the farther you live from them, the more you like them. So, I'd say do your best to turn the other cheek and do as she wants as long as you live at home, and then first chance you get move to a different city. |
04-22-2010, 07:52 PM | #13 |
#voteblackjack
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Northwood, NH
Posts: 35,747
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Quote:
I love my mom to death but we can't live together anymore, she drives me nuts.
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04-22-2010, 07:52 PM | #14 |
Gary Goggles
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: joedeclassified.com/forum/
Posts: 18,094
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When I told my mom she was going to
be a grandmother, she told one of her friends in an email "pray for a miscarriage." When my son was born she pulled a 360. It was like she'd been possessed for 29 years. It took me having a son to douse the raging alcoholic into something less than a a Balrog. She definitely increased her drinking after he was born and probably only saw my son maybe 20 times after his birth / before her death but she definitely retired the horrorshow that was our relationship. I'm by no means telling you to go get someone pregnant. I'm just kinda with Zefram on the welcome to the club, have a cookie, and good luck. I moved out at 20. Spent the next 10 years avoiding her.
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04-22-2010, 07:54 PM | #15 |
Mad Scientist at Large
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 14,793
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Too many people want to have their cake and eat it too.
Just stop caring about her approval (or approval in general in my case) and you'll find her criticisms don't mean so much to you either. Emotional amputation, like physical, is never pretty, but often it can be the only way to save the whole. |
04-22-2010, 07:54 PM | #16 |
Hisstank lackey
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: In the Land that Time Forgot
Posts: 9,597
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I stopped listening to what my mom had to say to me when I turned 18 and moved out shortly after (no looking back) to this day she knows her words don't carry much weight with me.
What's funny is she can say something really negative or mean spirited to me and it won't phase me at all, but someone on the tank could call me a douche and it would f*ck up my whole day lol
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04-22-2010, 07:55 PM | #17 |
Cobra Intel
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4,753
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Oh yeah, the best thing to do is what you're doing in this thread: venting. You've got to let it out somehow.
But yeah, try to get a job, move out, and live your life the best you can. Do it for yourself and not because of her. Good luck. |
04-22-2010, 07:55 PM | #18 |
Cobra Intel
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4,753
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...
Last edited by Captain Carstein; 04-22-2010 at 08:03 PM.. Reason: Double post |
04-22-2010, 07:56 PM | #19 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: kitchener, ON, canada
Posts: 1,801
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well ok that could be true but you he could move in with a friend or something unless his mom scared off all his friends
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04-22-2010, 07:57 PM | #20 |
Hisstank.Com General
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 9,031
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Lmao @ Jatta. Priceless sir!
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