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05-23-2013, 01:05 PM | #11 |
try not to die
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Illinois
Posts: 848
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I like jokes about bananas. I find them very appealing.
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Try not to die. |
05-23-2013, 05:29 PM | #12 |
Hisstank.Com General
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 5,169
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How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste!
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[b]Lance's Customs Public Album:https://photos.google.com/albums My Feedback: http://www.hisstank.com/forum/buy-se...-feedback.html |
05-23-2013, 05:51 PM | #13 |
Hisstank.Com General
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 5,169
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[b]Lance's Customs Public Album:https://photos.google.com/albums My Feedback: http://www.hisstank.com/forum/buy-se...-feedback.html |
05-28-2013, 10:49 AM | #14 |
ha!
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Earth?
Posts: 3,436
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I copied this though it was funny.
This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things. He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available. George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" |
05-28-2013, 10:57 AM | #15 |
Jr. Chaplain
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,559
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Quote:
I copied this though it was funny.
This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things. He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available. George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
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Lead me to the cross Where Your love poured out Bring me to my knees Lord I lay me down Rid me of myself I belong to You Lead me, lead me to the cross -Chris and Conrad Looking for G.I. Joe graphic novels from all eras. BST http://www.hisstank.com/forum/g-i-jo...-ndbs-bst.html Feedback http://www.hisstank.com/forum/buy-se...ml#post3291369 |
05-28-2013, 04:05 PM | #16 |
I just want foam gliders.
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Tooele (two-willa), Utah
Posts: 18,727
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I walked up to a guy and told him I had a talking dog. He didn't believe me. I said, I'll prove it.
"What's on the trunk of that tree?" "BARK!" "What's sandpaper like?" "ROUGH!" "What's covering that house?" "ROOF!" The guy wasn't impressed and punched me in the face for wasting his time. My dog looked at me and said, "I should've said asphalt shingles on that last one, eh?" |
05-28-2013, 04:13 PM | #17 |
I just want foam gliders.
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Tooele (two-willa), Utah
Posts: 18,727
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I found a genie in a bottle, released him and was given three wishes. But before I got them the genie told me that I had to say the magic words.
"1, 2, 3" He then informed me that anyone else could counter those wishes by saying the anti-magic words, "1, 2, 3, 4... you got that? Don't let anyone say 1, 2, 3, 4!" "Yeah, yeah, gimme my wishes!" So I rushed home to my wife. "Honey! Watch this. I wish I had a billion tax free dollars. I wish I could live forever. I wish my wife looked like Megan Fox." Nothing happened. "Oh yeah! One, two, three!" Then POOF all three wishes were granted! My wife, now an exact copy of Megan Fox looks back at me and asks, "What did you say one, two, three, for?" |
05-30-2013, 04:54 PM | #18 |
Social Distancing Expert
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: In my basement changing O-Rings
Posts: 5,721
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Whats a clean joke?
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https://instagram.com/gijoe.junkie?i...Q5ZDc2ODk2ZA== |
05-31-2013, 07:15 PM | #19 |
ha!
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Earth?
Posts: 3,436
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Not positive, but I think it usually ends in a clinic with a shot of penicillin?
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06-01-2013, 09:55 PM | #20 |
Jr. Chaplain
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,559
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Recently a new neighbor, a blond haired woman, called the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore
__________________
Lead me to the cross Where Your love poured out Bring me to my knees Lord I lay me down Rid me of myself I belong to You Lead me, lead me to the cross -Chris and Conrad Looking for G.I. Joe graphic novels from all eras. BST http://www.hisstank.com/forum/g-i-jo...-ndbs-bst.html Feedback http://www.hisstank.com/forum/buy-se...ml#post3291369 |
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