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01-05-2012, 01:32 PM | #1 |
Cobra Viper
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: ohio
Posts: 127
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i'm currently attempting to write my first novel but have ran into a problem. the problem is i have to many ideas. i would like for all of you to take a look at a couple of blurbs Ive prepared and tell me what you think and if their something you might pick up at a book store. keep in mind these aren't professional their meant to to be like something you would use to quickly describe the plot to someone. also sorry about the spelling and grammar
1:for Boston homicide detective Alex Tyler everything is business as usual until a serial killer starts leaving bodies all over Boston for her as some sort of sick courting ritual. now she has to catch a killer while dealing with the memories of the case that made her career, and left her physically scarred . can she survive or will the killer have his way with her 2: almost 2 years ago Boston homicide detective Alex Tyler received the hardest case of her life, a serial killer know as the artist. the cased left her physically scarred and with her own real life bogeyman. but now bodies start showing up with an eerie similarity to the artist's victims. then then paintings show up depicting each victims brutal death. now Alex has to figure out if it a copycat or worse if she messed up and put the wrong killer away.
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If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. -- George Carlin i love bullies they have such big, shiny red buttons to push snitches get stitches Bookstore Customer: “If I was your attorney, I would make you get rid of this ladder.” clerk: “If you were my attorney, I’d push you off it!” feedback http://www.hisstank.com/forum/buy-se...ml#post3565886 |
01-05-2012, 01:51 PM | #2 |
Registered Nurse Emperor
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Washington State
Posts: 5,507
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Could be interesting...
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01-05-2012, 01:56 PM | #3 |
#voteblackjack
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Northwood, NH
Posts: 35,747
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2
Better grasp of direction, tying the past and present together. #1 seems a bit meandering, the inclusion of the past seems out of place in that description.
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01-05-2012, 10:41 PM | #4 |
Over zealous Joe Recruit.
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: NJ
Posts: 4,467
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the second one.
the first sounds too much like an early Anita Blake novel.
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01-05-2012, 10:46 PM | #5 |
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 0
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Number 2 sounds pretty good.
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Van Hammer |
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01-06-2012, 07:38 PM | #6 |
ha!
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Earth?
Posts: 3,446
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I like the second, but it needs more of a time gap. Like 10 years or 12. After two years its still to fresh in the memory and she wont have a hard time remembering the details later on in her investigation.
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01-06-2012, 09:17 PM | #7 |
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New Hampster
Posts: 4,505
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Funny, I JUST started writing a two book series just like that
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01-06-2012, 09:25 PM | #8 |
Cobra Viper
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: ohio
Posts: 127
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great minds think alike i guess though i doubt the characters are the same
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If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. -- George Carlin i love bullies they have such big, shiny red buttons to push snitches get stitches Bookstore Customer: “If I was your attorney, I would make you get rid of this ladder.” clerk: “If you were my attorney, I’d push you off it!” feedback http://www.hisstank.com/forum/buy-se...ml#post3565886 |
01-06-2012, 10:11 PM | #9 |
Filecard Maker
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: NJ
Posts: 7,300
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Yeah gotta say 2 it flows better.
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