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12-02-2011, 02:35 PM | #1 |
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I am asking for some tact and compassion regarding this matter as I have struggled with it for quite some time.
I figured that a message board that represents a vast host of individuals that have never lost their inner child may be able to gear me towards the right answer. My daughter is 11 years old. She still believes in the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and above all else, Santa Claus. She has "heard" the rumors and had discussions with other children in her class that he is a figment of our imagination. My comment to my wife has always been, "Oh no, he is/was very real, just not how we imagine him now." I remember at a very young age (6) finding out that he was not real. As I grew and got older and had children of my own, I remember how upset I was. I have played into with both my children and still do. They were excited too see that he had showed up at the mall a few days before Thanksgiving while we were there to pick something up. Both agreed that we couldn't go see him and take pictures yet as we were not dressed for the occasion. I would not/have not downplayed the situation and acted as surprised and excited to see him as they were. Kids are not allowed to continue being kids and grow up too fast these days. Is it so wrong to want to hold onto any bit of innocence that we can? I am, however, a realist and do not want her to face ridicule for vehemently disagreeing with others that he is in fact real. Do I tell her? Do I wait for her to ask me? Do I ignore it and let it play itself out? What about her little brother? I don't want him to lose his faith so early either......do I ask her to play into the story and never deny it to him either? Am I foolish for allowing it to go on so long unchecked? Do I do it now or wait until after Christmas? Do I make a big deal out of it? How do I deal with the potential heartbreak and anger that I have "lied" to her all these years? Do I tell her that this includes the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny and any other mythical characters one can think of? Will she view my toy collecting and sharing my love of my childhood toys with her as a sign that it is ok to believe in things that we loved as children? Am I perhaps overanalyzing the whole situation and worried over nothing? What are your thoughts? |
12-02-2011, 02:40 PM | #2 |
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Does she really believe or is she just playing along?
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12-02-2011, 02:53 PM | #3 |
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Actually, I struggle with this very issue. My daughter is 8 and I am pretty sure she still believes in Santa and the Tooth Fairy. I mean, I have given her no reason to doubt it. She gets money when she puts her tooth under the pillow, and she gets presents from Santa on Christmas morning.
I always thought that eventually, she would learn the truth at school from her friends. I think she is getting to the age where she will start to figure it out. I am a bit surprised that at 11 your daughter hasn't learned from school, but for all I know my daughter could believe at that age as well. I wouldn't over-analyse it too much. Parents have been telling kids about Santa and such long before we ever became parents. It's a part of growing up for some cultures. Everyone grows up eventually, and it's not always an easy process. It will be OK, and when she becomes a mom one day she will carry on the tradition. |
12-02-2011, 03:01 PM | #4 |
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12-02-2011, 03:08 PM | #5 |
Deceptiron
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My wife and I have had this same discussion. I've got a few more years to figure out an answer for my kids.
You may want to treat it like any other situation a kid might face at school and address it head on. Once other kids start discussing it with her, it might be time to step in and cut off any bad info at the pass. Good luck. |
12-02-2011, 03:12 PM | #6 |
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12-02-2011, 03:16 PM | #7 |
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12-02-2011, 03:27 PM | #8 |
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I ask because when I found out about Santa not existing I hid it from my mom. I didn't want her to lose the fun of playing Santa. Not sure if that's what your daughter is doing though.
That might be one if the strangest things I've ever read. But it's the truth though.
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12-02-2011, 03:30 PM | #9 |
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I'm sure my 8 year old is doing this now. Just a total attitude change from last year. She's playing it up now more for her siblings. But as long as she's still enjoying it, I'm not going to be debby downer on the situation.
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12-02-2011, 03:32 PM | #10 |
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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I wouldn't bust her bubble. As for another kid at school doing so (punk asses)...if ever confronted by your daughter about their claims...you can always say Santa is "real" despite what they say. People believe in different things and this is just another shining example. For instance, millions upon millions subscribe to various religious ideologies and pray to a higher God. You can't see God, just like you can't see the "real" Santa, but that doesn't mean you cannot continue to believe he exists. Shoot, some folks are convinced aliens exist. I mean, there are innumerable examples you can give her to quell her angst (assuming she has any over the topic). Play it like that. Then, just let nature take its course. Eventually she will come to her OWN realization Santa is fictional and be ok with it. Until then though, let the magic live! Seeing isn't necessarily believing. It's the other way around!
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