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11-20-2011, 10:36 AM | #31 |
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Quote:
Luddite. I was under the impression the OP was a huge fan of Quaaludes, but no.....no one is really into them anymore. Not even the OP. |
11-21-2011, 12:22 PM | #32 |
endlesssummerofthedamned
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While you may be right, your perception may be correct, I have to think that any kind of depression puts emphasis on the negative and most likely makes it seem more intense as a whole.........which probably causes you to be become more introverted.
I can only say this because I was on a stupid ammount of meds and therapy and everything else, when I started doing things differently and took a step back....my perception changed and I think I started attracting better things. There was a time I walked around with that whole "humanity is a cancer" idea. You know what? It might be and the little speck of nothing I am in the grand scheme of things probably wont change much....BUT the little bit that it does change, that it changed? It felt like a weight off of my shoulders, made me a happier person and most importantly changed my perception. It's amazing what leaving cans of cat food for the strays by my job can do. Follow me? I hope you make friends and enjoy yourself a bit, I mean that. Be good dude. Most people, when they first meet me, misinterperet my aloofness as either weird, or stuck-up, and I've been told this on several occasions. It really stems from two problems - 1, I am not the kind of person who is comfortable around or can readily converse with strangers. 2, my mind doesn't work in the way that topics of conversation jump to the tip of my tongue. It takes a lot of concentration for me, and in groups of 4 or more, I get drowned out. I've made attempts to get around these, and sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. I think it matters more on the person I'm talking to. Some people just talk to talk and be the center of attention; I have no interest in this. I like being not noticed. In the work place, this seldom works, because I'm not one to stand around and gossip, but I do focus intently on my job and pay attention to the details, and people in charge of me notice this. I don't ever brown nose, and I speak my mind frankly when the time is appropriate, and in that kind of setting (at least in the job fields I've worked in), the results have been phenomenal. I don't focus as intently on the more terrible aspects of humanity like I used to. The news is the worst thing for someone with depression, if their depression comes from the systemic woes of humanity, like mine does. Social network sites like Facebook are not good for someone with depression if it is exacerbated by a feeling of not accomplishing enough or not being popular enough or not owning enough things. I still watch the news, because I feel it's important to know what's going on around the world, but I feel less responsible for the violence and degradation of humanity that seems to be escalating daily. I grew up in a fairly strict Roman Catholic family, and a lot of the teachings of the bible that I took to heart is to blame for putting me in this situation, I feel. Because I expected a lot of so-called christians to practice what they preached. But it seemed like more and more are in it to be judgemental assholes. So I left all that behind. Then I joined the military, and here was a society based on rigid structures and discipline and conformity. At least, in the various Army Regulations manuals, there is how it's supposed to be; then there's the way it is. Another bust. So here I am; when I tried to fit in, I was continually frustrated by those who think they have the privileges and rights to do as they please, and then whine about it when they get caught. And as much as I had generalizing and throwing everyone into categories, it seems more and more prevalent every time I go out somewhere. What's a boy to do?
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11-21-2011, 12:36 PM | #33 |
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fuck friends, as long as a bitch bends..
i meet ppl on the daily, but i never further things into a friendship unless it's a good looking female. i have a shit load of friends, or may be considered associates, rather, since i don't go out of my way to see what or how they are doing, and only keep a handful near me where i actually do call. i dropped lots of ppl in my life as i was getting older and needed to not be around others that did things i chose not to. i personally don't feel the need to have friends, i like to just socialize, if in public, or say here, i have equiped friends here and socialize and keep in touch with more than i do with ppl i grew up with.... strange.. but, no matter where i go, i always am the guy who associates with the women and charm em. that is all i really need in life is women, men i can do without, honestly.. Last edited by Unclassified; 11-21-2011 at 12:47 PM.. |
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11-21-2011, 12:42 PM | #34 |
endlesssummerofthedamned
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Usually, people don't like to be told that they suck. That might the first step in making more friends. One other suggestion might be to try helping others instead of yourself.
Also, it's ironic the OP calls himself a functional luddite yet is posting on an internet toy forum which really doesn't serve a useful function other than to promote a hobby that in some ways represents that which he despises. And yes, 'functional luddite' deserves some explanation; the term luddite could be argued to the extreme that we should all go back to living in caves and wearing animal pelts. I'm not that rigid. I've been a diesel mechanic for the better part of the last 12 years of my life. I like tinkering and fixing things; I'm more of what could be called a 'reform-luddite' - accepting of some necessary technologies that are required by the modern world, while more worried about the particular invasiveness of other unnecessary technologies that do more harm than good. A lot of these items have made us, as a society in general, stupider. And yes, in some ways, it has opened up our world in new and fascinating ways, but I think as a collective, we're headed more along the path leading to the reactionary future of "Idiocracy" or the blindly ignorant world of "Logan's Run" than to an enlightened future dipicted by "Star Trek". Just because I'm working on ways to simplify my life and get rid of most modern contrivances doesn't mean that I've always wanted to live this way. I've tried different things throughout my life. What I'm looking for now is in more of the direction of luddite-ism. I may find that this won't work either, but you can't fault me for trying. Unfortunately, I doubt I would ever be able to get down to a level that would eliminate the need for a computer or a car. So that's something I have to work around.
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11-21-2011, 12:49 PM | #35 |
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way to many big words in this thread for me, man.. never even heard of a ludite..
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11-21-2011, 01:00 PM | #36 |
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BUT there isn't one for people that are single and/or married with no kids. Once you get married and have kids you end up meeting new people through your kids. They end up being parents of other kids. But you can strike up good friendships that way. But that doesn't work if you're single or married with no kids. I take it back. There is a societal method for making new friends in your 20s. You meet them through work. One of my best friends, one of my "brothers", I didn't meet until mid/late-20s and was at work.
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11-21-2011, 01:56 PM | #37 |
endlesssummerofthedamned
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Actually there is a societal method.
BUT there isn't one for people that are single and/or married with no kids. Once you get married and have kids you end up meeting new people through your kids. They end up being parents of other kids. But you can strike up good friendships that way. But that doesn't work if you're single or married with no kids. I take it back. There is a societal method for making new friends in your 20s. You meet them through work. One of my best friends, one of my "brothers", I didn't meet until mid/late-20s and was at work. My wife and I have no plans to have any kids. It's a huge responsibility - one that we don't think enough people take seriously. We do however spend time with the four illegitimate children her drug-abusing cousin left with her parents to deal with. It's a sad situation, but I enjoy spending time with them, because I find social interaction with kids to be refreshing - they don't judge you harshly the way adults do. Also, the seem to find me hilarious, which it always makes you feel good to make someone laugh. I mean, they might just be laughing at the way I look, but whatever. We also plan on doing a 'Presents for Patients' thing this year. My wife did it last year while I was still in Iraq, and she enjoyed it. We'll be taking a small gift to some elderly people that don't have any family. I mean, I'd like to think that when I'm that age that I won't be cast aside by everyone I've known my life, but sometimes when you live that long, everyone else has died off, and you just find that no one else is left in your life. It must be an incredibly lonely feeling. It's weird - I don't connect to people my age. I went to a gathering of people my wife met a few weeks ago, sort of a 'club' she belongs to. I ended up talking to the wife's husband for a few hours, and he was in his '60's and retired. He'd been in the Army, so we talked about that, and we talked about muscle cars, which I used to be into as a teen, and still retained a lot of knowledge about, even if my interest in them has waned over the years. And this was an instant where I felt comfortable enough to just shoot the shit. It may be my mood, it might be the setting, or just the comfortable ease of the person I'm talking to, but I've still yet to find out how I can apply these factors to work to my advantage in any situation.
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11-21-2011, 02:09 PM | #38 |
#voteblackjack
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Maybe just relax?
Don't take this the wrong way, no offense meant, but if you talk the way you type, that can be kind of a formal. For me, the more formal someone is, the less I want to interact with them. Formality has it's situations, but most social situations isn't it.
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11-21-2011, 02:48 PM | #39 |
endlesssummerofthedamned
Join Date: Jan 2008
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Quote:
Maybe just relax?
Don't take this the wrong way, no offense meant, but if you talk the way you type, that can be kind of a formal. For me, the more formal someone is, the less I want to interact with them. Formality has it's situations, but most social situations isn't it. In person I'm pretty matter-of-fact as far as dialogue goes. Because my mind can't keep up with my mouth - sitting here typing right now, I can pause to retrieve a specific word, or delete and rewrite something to say exactly what I want to say. But in casual conversation, I struggle pretty hard to get out what I want sometimes. I'm very laid-back in general, although I do feel anxiety in some situations. I hate large crowds, and I think that stems a lot from my military background. I maybe took my training a little too seriously, because I'm always profiling situations out in public.
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11-21-2011, 02:58 PM | #40 |
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Location: Atlanta
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I guess what I keep scratching my head over is the question of do you really want to make new friends? Sounds like you are just doing it so your wife will get off your back about it. Just be true to yourself and don't try to be something you are not. Some people are just not the type to have friends.
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