[Tim 121RVC]

What does your top 10 of worst G.I.Joe vehicles look like? "Best" or "favorite" lists are common, but how about the opposite..... Ugly colour schemes may come to mind first, but you can also think of playability, action features, military purposes and maybe even realism to a certain point (as far as you like that to go in this toy verse).

I got the idea because of this video:

[youtube]

[Tim 121RVC]

- Coastal Defender '87: no protection for the "driver", except some wood when its closed. It did provide a nice undercarriage to make your own towable vehicle.
- Vindicator '87: open cockpit is acceptable for the bad guys (FANG), but not for the good guys.
- Persuader '87: only because of the big cannon, because I do like the rest of it. The cannon doesn't have an opening. It's supposed to be a laser cannon and I don't like those on vehicles.
- Phantom X-19 '88: not my kind of plane shaped like that.
- Hammer '90: cool weaponry to use on customized vehicles, but the base vehicle as a hummer is out of proportion.
- Battle Wagon '91: nice big armored truck, but the red automatic missile launcher on top is just too big.
- Barracuda '91: never cared much for a small submarine.
- Battle Copters '90 + '91: when playing with my vehicles I want to control the direction they're going. Nice action feature, but useless for me.
- Detonator '93: pretty awesome and brutal vehicle, but the foam rockets don't fit the overall look/playability
- Razor-Blade '94: weird helicopter

[Ruin]

In no particular order:

-Armadillo. One man, four guns that recoil right into his lap, and a tank to drive on top of that. Add to that the stubby tracks leave quite a bit of body hanging over the front. I don't see this thing crawling out of too many trenches like that

- Tread Ripper. Another tank. Its like they stopped designing it after running into the aesthetic problems of making a tank look like a bicycle. There is no peripheral vision for the driver, and he looks forward through the tracks through what is essentially a gap in the toy they forgot to put something else.

-Wheel Blaster Bike. Sculpt is decent, but all it has is a movie shot gimmick where it shoots its front wheel off. Then......you have a motorcycle with one wheel. Honestly, if they would have dispensed with that and put a kickstand on the thing, it would have been a decent toy.

- LCV Recon Sled. All those little wheels in the front look bad and defeat its function.

- Firebat. How is that thing supposed to fly with the engine pulling air from the cockpit? How is your head not supposed to get sucked in? It's obvious they didn't expect this thing to make it back. no landing gear, and all.

Vector Jet - That bulbous tumor in the back.....

Arctic Blast - Two big wheels and a bunch a little skids on the front. Snowdrift face-plant machine.

Fang III - Too much Lanard inspiration here.

Road Rebel - a sidecar with a big tippy gun on top they are trying to pass off as a tank. In its own defense, there's a lot of crap Hasbro tries to pass off as a tank.

Coastal Defender - I'm right there with you. Weaponized outhouses are a bridge too damned far.

[Sean_C]

1. LCV Recon Sled, those funny front wheels, the alternate seated mode that makes no sense.
2. SHARC, flimsy canopy, torpedos fall off easily, made for one specific figure but reissued many times without that Deep Six. Needs a complete do over, like that will ever happen.
3. FANG 3, garbage even by Cobra standards.
4. Attack Cruiser, just a mess of a single stamp asymmetrical design with ugly neon green parts and what's it function to launch a glider bomb/drone...how is that an attack cruiser?
5. Cobra Rat, cheapo single stamp and the rotor launcher was nonsensical.
6. Destro's Dominator, absurd concept and flimsy design...one might be forgivable, but not both.
7. Swamp Masher, how do this work? Swamps are wetlands, and the masher doesn't seem to be amphibious. It's not cool looking, either.
8. BF 2000 Marauder, high tech motorcycle half-track, based on 1930's German tech!
9. Sand Razor, that big turret on top...too many weapons...Extreme TONKA
10. Patriot, ignoring the neon green (Hard to do) the colors aren't bad, but when I look at this thing's design...the 4 small treads, the big bumper, that the triple barrel guns...ick. Also, it can't even roll for crap.

[Loose Cannon]

Not sure I can get to 10, but Number 1 worst POS of all toys:

1. SHARC in all it's forms (For all the same reasons Sean mentions Worst toy EVA!)
2. Silver Mirage - Just so flimsy.
3. Original SkyHawk (Easily breaks, the peg makes it hard to put certain figures in there (Love the newer ones)
4. Battle Pogo (WTF is this thing?)
5. Tri-Blaster Just lame
6. Battle Copters (Looks deadly, and it will break your figure)
7. Fort America
8. LCV? I kinda like it, but just unpractical, and the dang glass falls off too easily.

[hardcorps]

There are so many awesome joe vehicles but so many awesomely bad ones too. In no particular order:

1. the pogo battle ball thing. WTF?
2. Buzz boar. Could be cool, but ain't.
3. All the Battle Force 2000. It transforms, but not really, and is it outer space stuff or just bright white combat vehicles with exposed operators?
4. Cobra Earthquake. Again, could be awesome but isn't. It is very close to a good concept but misses and makes it horrible.
5. Battle copter
6. Most of those soft plastic neon colored toys from the early 90s.
7. Road Toad. A battlefield recovery vehicle that needs to be towed by another vehicle? Bro, come on.

[Xerofall]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hardcorps

7. Road Toad. A battlefield recovery vehicle that needs to be towed by another vehicle? Bro, come on.

It can operate by itself.

Road Toad B.R.V. - 3DJOES

[Xerofall]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruin

Firebat. How is that thing supposed to fly with the engine pulling air from the cockpit? How is your head not supposed to get sucked in? It's obvious they didn't expect this thing to make it back. no landing gear, and all.

It has landing gear. It was designed to land vertically like the new Space-X rockets.



It also has "intake vents" on the top and sides, not just from the cockpit.


Image from 3DJoes.com

[Ruin]

The landing gear looks more like a support strut, and I didn't know they were able to land rockets that way.

That inlet too would make more sense if it didn't vent rearward as if it was intended for cooling. The engine detailing just makes no sense.

[RolandofGilead]

I love the Firebat. So much so that I talked my mom into buying me the Terrodrome when it was getting clearanced from Gemco for 33% just because I wanted the jet and AVAC trooper. The base was secondary to me at the time.