[DESTRO]

EL MAYIMBE of Latino Review has just posted his review of the First Draft (121 pages) of The G.I. Joe Live Action Movie. This time Skip Woods was chosen to write up a new direction draft for the film.

G.I. Joe Fans hold onto your seats its not looking good.

To View the complete story just Click the Title Bar!

[DESTRO]

Quote:

You ready for this?

COOL DUDE

Lorenzo, you mean to tell me that you had to pay an A-List writer his six figure quote to give you an original henchman with a stupid fucking name like COOL DUDE without having the writer or your development staff go down to Meltdown Comics on Sunset or that other comic shop on Melrose, look up the G.I Joe Battle Files Sourcebook for like 5 bucks and not come up with STORM SHADOW, ZARTAN, MAJOR BLUDD, DESTRO or even FIREFLY?!

Are you kidding me?

You know how many cool bad guys exist in G.I.JOE?!

But no, we have to settle for COOL DUDE who is more like CORNY DUDE!

That’s just the tip of the iceberg.

So for the fans what Joes are in this?

DUKE, FLYNT, SNAKE EYES, HI-TECH, HEAVY DUTY, and SCARLETT, along with ALEX MANN.

But folks, these Joes are not what you grew up reading in comics or watching on television. These are bizarro level bastardizations of these characters.

SNAKE EYES speaks in this script, has some eye trouble – hence his name (how fucking original), wears big shades and gets his vocal cords slashed towards the end by COOL DUDE of all people – hence becoming the silent Snake Eyes we all know.

ALEX MANN, DUKE, and SCARLETT are in a love triangle – hence our subplot. She is Duke’s ex girlfriend, marries Alex, and dies at the midpoint at the hands of the Baroness. Consider her lucky she got out this wretched draft early. Any G.I. JOE fan with some common sense knows that Scarlett had a thing for SNAKE
EYES and not DUKE.

Who are the wannabe Cobras or bad guys?

RYAN, a CIA OFFICIAL who speaks in “dudespeak” and on the last page becomes the cobra commander of this wretched script, THE BARONESS, and COOL DUDE. Ryan is the CIA official who strings along G.I. JOE and the twist is that Ryan is THE NAJA, the main bad guy/arms dealer that G.I. JOE has been looking for all along. Ryan even gives that obligatory clichéd why I did it and became evil speech – literally before our big showdown.

That’s it. I hated the Ryan character. He belongs on Venice Beach hitting the waves. THE BARONESS is this henchwoman hot Mata Hari chick with a cobra tattoo down her back. DUMB. DUMB. DUMB.

What’s the stupid plot?

COOL DUDE launches a shoulder-mounted nuclear missile into downtown HONG KONG, and he takes out a couple of city blocks and thousands of civilians. The G.I. JOE team investigates the arms back to AYOOB, an arms dealer who knows the secret identity of THE NAJA, which ends up being Ryan, the CIA official who was stringing along the G.I.JOE team.

That’s it.

http://www.latinoreview.com/scriptreview.php?id=62

I have seen many reviews from El Mayimbe but never like this. He is a great inside source for movie scripts and I have never seen him go off on somebody like this. Lets hope between all the fans (Once this news gets out) and people like El Mayimbe we can save this movie.

[General Scarlett]

You'd think with how anally retentive Hasbro is with the figure/vehicle/names line that they'd be all over this crap like Mickey's box of lawyers whenever somebody doesn't pay royalties..............


The question I continue to have is, with directors like McG and such, WHY don't these guys go after G.I. Joe????:confused:

[Shin Densetsu]

Dear God. That is bad.

[Deathx360]

OK, Lorenzo says we can't have the G.I. Joe we all know and love because of politics so simple solution the bad guy is a CIA agent? Snake-eyes talks for most of the movie and Scarlett dies. Having Scarlett in love with Duke isn't that bad since that is how it was in the cartoon but having her marry Action Man is too much. We get Baroness but no Cobra Commander or Destro, just surfer dude one and two.

Did this script come from Bizzarro World or something? Hasbro needs to drop this whole project and find someone who can do it right. Even if politics keeps this movie from being a hit overseas or even here it is better than having a bomb like this that will not make money anywhere and butchers the franchise at the same time. Now that I think about it maybe that is what Lorenzo wants to do. Anyone who uses "COOL DUDE" even as a placeholder for a villain can't think that this would fly with anyone.

[Team Jetfire]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deathx360

Did this script come from Bizzarro World or something? Hasbro needs to drop this whole project and find someone who can do it right. Even if politics keeps this movie from being a hit overseas or even here it is better than having a bomb like this that will not make money anywhere and butchers the franchise at the same time. Now that I think about it maybe that is what Lorenzo wants to do. Anyone who uses "COOL DUDE" even as a placeholder for a villain can't think that this would fly with anyone.

I agree 100%

I was for the design changes for the transformers, but only because I figured it would make sense...These changes for Joe would be trouble.

And seriously, Cool Dude!?! Weak...

[Shin Densetsu]

Make it an all CGI animated movie and call it a day. That way we might be able to forget the stupid script.

[Deathx360]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Team Jetfire

I agree 100%

I was for the design changes for the transformers, but only because I figured it would make sense...These changes for Joe would be trouble.

And seriously, Cool Dude!?! Weak...

I wasn't too happy with the designs of the Transformers at first but some have grown on me, not enough to be a completest or even buy some of the movie figures (still up in the air on that right now). At least Transformers remains Transformers. My opinion has changed several times for that movie but for the last few months, not sure how many, I have really been look forward to that movie and how much it will rock. The designs are different but at it's core it is just a retelling of what we have grown up with.

G.I. Joe on the other hand is not. Maybe, and I know some will hate me for this, they should have had Bay do G.I. Joe also. At least it would be close to what we expected, I think. At this point I would settle for a Monty Python version of G.I. Joe, at least we would know what to expect from them.

[DESTRO]

I don't know how many of you got the chance to read the David Elliot, Paul Lovett story line (script) but it was way better then this.

Im sure this script is very early and Hasbro would never let them make this story line.

[Spirit-Iron_Lun]

Terrible is the only word I can find