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08-04-2012, 08:24 PM | #1 |
Ne Plus Ulta
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Brooklyn
Posts: 4,753
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Two years, fifty-one weeks, six days, and an odd number of hours later, I FINALLY saw G.I. JOE: Rise of COBRA. In the interest of full disclosure, I went on record as a hater of the film, however, with that being said, RoC wasn’t the “craptacular,” cluster fuck the fandom made it out to be, however, it wasn’t the cool “popcorn summer blockbuster,” that the JOE Stans made it out to be either. When I think of cool popcorn flicks, I think of Ironman, Spidey 2, and though I hate to say it because it came out after RoC, The Avengers.
I do agree with the haters of the film that Channing Tatum was horribly miscast as Duke and during the scene when he called the troops to attention, he voice definitely lacked authority. This isn’t Tatum’s fault, the blame clearly rests with Stephen Sommers, and he should’ve rehearsed the scene until Tatum got the proper authority and inflection on his voice. For Sommers to let that scene into the movie shows his failings as a director and I daresay shows how serious took the project. The extent of my “acting career,” was doing background work on a few movies, so I’m the first to admit that I know shit about casting for films, with that being said, the last person I would’ve cast as Duke would’ve been Channing Tatum and for him to get the lead in this particular movie, has me wondering what Sommers saw in him or felt he was going to bring to the project. Christopher Eccelston. Dude did his thing as Destro, (I have to admit I’m biased towards Eccesleston because I thoroughly enjoyed his portrayal of Ben Jago in the Othello remake. I you haven’t seen it you need to, but I digress.) Marlon Wayans was cool, but the delivery of some his lines seemed kinda forced. Again, I hate to use this comparison because it’s classic apples and oranges, but in Avengers when RDJ was being sarcastic and witty, the delivery seemed natural and natural for the Tony Stark character, but before you guys kill me, again I admit I’m comparing an Academy Award nominee to a B list actor. The rest of the cast was cool and what little I know of acting, I felt that they did a good job considering what they had to work with. With the exception of Tatum, the problem wasn’t with the cast it was with the executive producers, the directors, and the screen writers. The biggest overall problem with this movie wasn’t the continuity changes, the accelerator suits, or S.E.’s rubber suit with the wacky mouth, (speaking of which, why didn’t S.E. have on a black uniform like everybody else and why the wacky mouth? But I’m digressing again.) It was the fact title of the was G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra and we didn’t get to see much of Cobra rising. This movie should’ve been JGL’s and not Tatum’s. I may have missed it, but I didn’t catch Rex’s motivation as to why he wanted to start a “ruthless terrorist organization that is determined to rule the world.” If I were had this same outline I would’ve did the film like this. I would’ve utilized the Twins and the Seigies. The Seigies would’ve been strategically placed in positions of power and influence within corporations, financial institutions, and governments throughout the world. I felt that we didn’t get of Zartan in the movie, with a Seigie in place as a senior advisor to the president, this would’ve gave Zartan access to the president to do the eventual hit. Instead of Dr. Mindbender developing the nanomite technology, Baron DeCobray’s company would’ve developed it. In turn, DeCobray would’ve been one of those scientists that C.C. “kidnapped and forced to reveal his most top level secret.” The government gets word of this burdening threat from Cobra and decides to form the JOE. So in actually, the JOEs would be a response to Cobra, and the JOEs would lose. C.C. would get an attack off, the Twins through Extensive Enterprises would acquire companies, and Seigies would start to pilfer the treasuries of governments and the accounts of financial institutions and “too big to fail corporations.” As I stated earlier criticism of the movie was waay to harsh and it shouldn’t have gotten just one star, it should’ve got two. With that being said, those “special effects,” were absolutely inexcusable, I know a pretty chunk of change was devoted to special effects and this is the bullshit you get back? I’m not saying you have to fuck with Lucus and Industrial Light and Magic, but goddamn? I’m pretty sure whoever approved the company to do those special effects got fired. Also at the end of the movie, I didn’t like the way Destro bitched out to C.C. Destro would’ve seen C.C.’s treachery coming and killed C.C. If I had seen RoC in the movies, I would’ve left the theatre like WTF and probably been pissed, but to quote what has been said many times on this board, RoC was cool for what it was and it my case it was a cool movie to watch at 12:00 at night when you don’t feel like going to bed. Well that’s Fred’s thoughts on RoC, two years, fifty-weeks, and six days after the fact. Oh, one last thing, what was up with, “For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow?"
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Last edited by Fred Broca; 08-05-2012 at 09:41 AM.. |
08-04-2012, 10:26 PM | #2 |
Enemy Penetrator
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 2,502
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I think RoC was better than TDKR.
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08-05-2012, 12:21 AM | #3 |
Ne Plus Ulta
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Brooklyn
Posts: 4,753
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We know, you said that in the "Dark Knight Rises," thread.
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08-05-2012, 01:04 AM | #4 |
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Normandy SR2
Posts: 6,968
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Bah, Hollywood! Take what you can get. Don't expect much.
I liked ROC because I know that's probably the best we'll ever get. At least we didn't get screwed as bad as the MOTU fans. The live action MOTU movie has to the biggest piece of shit ever filmed. |
08-05-2012, 01:49 AM | #5 |
Banned
Join Date: May 2009
Location: gods waiting room
Posts: 2,356
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blasphemy!! Motu was so awesome!
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08-05-2012, 01:52 AM | #6 |
Broca Beach Realtor
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Broca Beach
Posts: 8,260
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Nah, dr. T and the women is worse.
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"[Zarana] it's obvious by how many post[sic] you have... That you live a sheltered life...probably surrounded by your toys" |
08-05-2012, 02:20 AM | #7 |
Filecard Maker
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: NJ
Posts: 7,300
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Well I think they took some big risks...and I think they did not pay off as well as hoped.
They took a risk... -Adding Channing...they clearly wanted something young women would like and yeah they do but they also forgot to see if he was a decent actor...which he's honestly not. -Giving the Joe team a differant look...with the blackout gear and such...which really took away alot of character personality. -Changing Ripcord...putting aside the change of the characters race, Ripcord was more or less a comedy sidekick...which Wayans actually played perfectly...IF this was a comedy flick, and to be honest Channing had no chemestry with Wayans or Miller so it made both their jobs eevn harder. -Adding the love triangle...this was a BIG risk it was never before established in Joe mythos and to be honest it was a mistake here, and to compound a big mistake they added in the element of... -Cobra Commander / Rex...there really was no need to give the Commander a revamped backstory that tied him into Duke, Ripcord, The Baroness or any other character...in fact I think most fans would agree The Commanders backstory was the worst part of the cartoon, (and quickly ignored) and possibly one of the worst parts of DDP's run (connecting SE and CC as two angry guys getting revenge on the road). The Commander works best when he is just some guy out to conquer the world. Now again that said they compounded that mistake with... -Redesigning Cobra Commanders mask...it really is just awful. -The toyline...the figures were very uninspired the majority of the first few waves looked nothing like the figures of our youth, in neither uniforms nor their movie head molds...I mean go on...take a 25th Duke head and slap it on to a Reactive Armor Duke...I'll wait. Looks a lot better don't it? Granted not great but it is an improvement. The vehicles weren't much better. You had 27 years of inspiring vehicles to work with and the BEST off the line was the seriously over priced and terribly designed Pit and the over gimmick, terrible homage and again overpriced Raven? -Breaker and Heavy Duty are differant...I actually have no issues with either actor in fact I think they were both pretty good. But HD was a poor substitute for what should have been Roadblock to begin with AND it wasn't even the HD we do know...he's a completely differant character with the same name. Which is the same problem with Breaker. Honestly...I'd rather they and Rip have been all new characters than try and show horn in all new characters in previously established molds. You wouldn't try to make Frodo into a ladies man bedding every woman he could and you don't make James Kirk a bookish dweeb, and James Bond suddenly doesn't fight bad guys but draws the line at killing them. -Accellorator suits...clearly the idea was to make an attempt to appeal to the Sigma 6 faction of the Joe line...guys...did anyone mention (good or bad) Sigma 6 failed miserably why would you include that? And the 'We were trying to appeal to as much fan base as possible' just don't cut it...cause as said in the entire rant above...you disregaurded a ton of what would appeal to the ARAH fan base...and where was the representation of the Sgt. Savage fan base? or Extreme? or Street Fighter? or Mortal Kombat? How come there wasn't a building sized character to represent the larger scale 12" Joes? The bottom line is they took a lot of chances and they all failed...terribly. There is an old saying...stick with what brought you to the dance...in this case they didn't. And here's the kicker..... I ACTUALLY LIKED ROC. Granted it wasn't MY Joe, and I would have prefered it to be closer to what I know and love but as a film...I felt it was fun...like I said not perfect but fun. Last edited by Owner of a Lonely B.A.T.; 08-05-2012 at 02:22 AM.. |
08-05-2012, 02:32 AM | #8 |
VALKYRIE
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Over the rainbow where your mom is at son
Posts: 23,515
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The movie had a lot of things going against it. A few of these were major issues which ultimately left it feeling like any other movie BUT GI Joe:
-Stephen Sommers wanted to make an Accelerator movie for years, ROC essentially IS that movie but with GI Joe character names. GI Joe only in name, not GI Joe everywhere else. Another director should've been chosen, a director who would have focused on making a movie from scratch, not turning an idea that was kept on the backburner into a movie for someone else with different names. Just because something is labeled GI Joe doesn't mean it will come off as GI Joe. -Making a movie during the writer's strike. |
08-05-2012, 02:40 AM | #9 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: virginia
Posts: 1,037
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YES IT WAS!!!! and that is sad...
at least ROC qualifies as a movie flawed yes but still a movie. Dark knight is just a mess. it's a bunch of people standing on screen looking like they are waiting to see a dentist . it had no story, no plot, no pay off. |
08-05-2012, 05:34 AM | #10 |
Smells Lemony
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 10,549
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I still argue that if you take all the cutscenes from the Command and Conquer Tiberium series and just run them in order start to finish, you get a better film than RoC. And it couldn't have used a third of the budget to produce even though it used the same dated green screen computer effects. Plus, you know, it's like you're a part of the movie since they're talking right at you for most of the scenes. That's like 4D.
Not to mention it had a better cast: Michael Biehn, Frank Zagarino, Francesco Quinn, Patrick Bauchau, James Earl Jones, Michael Ironside, Billy Dee Mudderluvvin Williams! Last edited by Hicks_Royel; 08-05-2012 at 05:48 AM.. |
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