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03-07-2011, 08:51 PM | #41 |
MCC Recruiter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Asteroid M
Posts: 9,872
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I love this thread now... some genuine laughs.
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03-07-2011, 09:02 PM | #42 |
MCC Recruiter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Asteroid M
Posts: 9,872
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March 7, 2011
To: Dr. Mindbender From: The Commander (of awesomeness) RE: Dress Code / Harassment Compaint CC: Destro BCC: Cobra (all) Good Morning Dr. It has come to our attention that several of the female officers have filed complaints against your person, for making lewd acts with your exposed nipples. One even noted that you asked her if she wanted to see your trouser snake and than yelled Cobra! while fondling yourself. While Cobra respects individualism in the way of scary attire, your shirtless exposed man chest has not aged well over the years, and our human resources department has asked you repeatedly to stop using your cape to dry your hands in the men's room. It is not sanitary. In addition, it turns out our records department just got your background check back and has informed us that you are actually not a real doctor. Completing a semester of medical school online from the University of Phoenix does not qualify you for such a title. There were also reports that your mustache hair was found in several of the women's panty drawers. Due to these, and several previous incidents on file, we are writing to inform you that you are no longer in the employ of Cobra Industries. You will be escorted out by security, please do not try to steal any office supplies, but feel free to take that strange probe thing that you seem to be so fond of. Please be aware that your healthcare will expire at the end of the month, but regret to inform you that you will not be eligible for a COBRA health care plan upon termination. On a personal note, I'd just like to say purple is not your color. It isn't cool on Prince, and it isn't cool on you. Peace out, get the f@%@ out bit@h ass punk. Yours very truely, Cobra Commander
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03-07-2011, 09:03 PM | #43 |
Gone Fishing
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Playing Outside In B.C. Canada
Posts: 8,615
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Crimson Guard, those damn fancy outfits are dryclean only !
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Quote:
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03-07-2011, 09:16 PM | #44 |
US Marshal
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: AZ
Posts: 1,334
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Dear Cobra B.A.T. Repair Facility,
We would like to inform you that starting April 1, 2011, we will be no longer providing new parts to repair Battle Android Troopers. Please use the new parts you currently have wisely. Starting sometime in April you will start receiving shipments of Factory Refurbished Parts. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to call. Sincerely, Cobra Director of Operations
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My Feedback: http://www.hisstank.com/forum/buy-se...-firstone.html My B/S/T List: http://www.hisstank.com/forum/g-i-jo...sale-list.html |
03-07-2011, 09:29 PM | #45 |
Cobra Viper
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: NorCal
Posts: 115
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It's so sad to see so many terrorist orginazations failing in this day and age. However, with a few simple steps, your organization can be on its was to financial solvency.
1. Streamline your Training Process. With today's advanced weaponry, troops don't need to learn as much as they did even five years ago. It's OK if they don't know how to assemble a rifle or clear a room properly. Plus the sooner you can put them to work, the sooner you can get a return on your investment. 2. Eliminate Paper Checks. There's a reason they're calling it the digital age, and you should make sure that your orginazation is keeping up. Require that all employees and independent contractors recieve all payments through direct deposit. Alas, contractors that only work for bars of gold or jewels will have to go. 3. Set up a "Recycling" Program. Create a new division of the Crimson Guard devoted to this program. Their duties should include using employee routing numbers (given when they sign up for direct deposit) to gain access to their accounts. At the time of termination (death), you can then recycle the funds from their account into your own accounts. 4. Create a Plan for the Future. Your orginazation should have a number of "High Reward, High Casualty" operations (such as robbing Fort Knox) in the planning stages at all time. Thus, if you determine you need to increase revenue or decrease payroll for the coming fiscal quarter, you can greenlight these operations. If they fail, you can then use the "Recycling" program to make your operation more financially sound. If the plan succeeds, well, you can always have a mishap on the ride home. If you would like more information on the Cobra "Recycling" program or would like information on our other programs feel free to contact us at TheFrugalTerrorist.Com or at 1-666-COBRALLC. |
03-07-2011, 11:50 PM | #46 |
Banned
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: North Jersey
Posts: 10,454
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Wow you guys are on a roll! lol good stuff!
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03-08-2011, 12:23 PM | #47 |
MCC Recruiter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Asteroid M
Posts: 9,872
|
Quote:
It's so sad to see so many terrorist orginazations failing in this day and age. However, with a few simple steps, your organization can be on its was to financial solvency.
1. Streamline your Training Process. With today's advanced weaponry, troops don't need to learn as much as they did even five years ago. It's OK if they don't know how to assemble a rifle or clear a room properly. Plus the sooner you can put them to work, the sooner you can get a return on your investment. 2. Eliminate Paper Checks. There's a reason they're calling it the digital age, and you should make sure that your orginazation is keeping up. Require that all employees and independent contractors recieve all payments through direct deposit. Alas, contractors that only work for bars of gold or jewels will have to go. 3. Set up a "Recycling" Program. Create a new division of the Crimson Guard devoted to this program. Their duties should include using employee routing numbers (given when they sign up for direct deposit) to gain access to their accounts. At the time of termination (death), you can then recycle the funds from their account into your own accounts. 4. Create a Plan for the Future. Your orginazation should have a number of "High Reward, High Casualty" operations (such as robbing Fort Knox) in the planning stages at all time. Thus, if you determine you need to increase revenue or decrease payroll for the coming fiscal quarter, you can greenlight these operations. If they fail, you can then use the "Recycling" program to make your operation more financially sound. If the plan succeeds, well, you can always have a mishap on the ride home. If you would like more information on the Cobra "Recycling" program or would like information on our other programs feel free to contact us at TheFrugalTerrorist.Com or at 1-666-COBRALLC. Well done, well worded, well crafted.
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03-08-2011, 09:31 PM | #48 |
Unreformed Browncoat
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 484
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@ Scatman - I'm hiring you as a consultant for my next RFP!!
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"A ship like this will be with you 'til the day you die." "Cause it's a death trap" (Mal and Zoe's first impressions of Serenity, from Firefly "Out of Gas") Check out the Stuff I build http://lastofthehantei.blogspot.com/ |
03-08-2011, 09:38 PM | #49 |
Hisstank.Com General
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 5,866
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No, the Baroness is safe because as a woman she makes less anyways.
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My Feedback: http://www.hisstank.com/forum/buy-se...ck-thread.html MTF Vice Admiral. BFS H.A.C.K.S. Series 1 All-in. MTF Valkyries Asgard. Eagle Force All-in early bird. CFT Dime Novel Legends Posse. Zombie Lab All-in. MTF World War II Mayhem. HasLab Jabba's Sail Barge. HasLab Razor Crest x3. MTF Vietnam Mayhem 1st + All-In 2nd. HasLab Sky Striker x 5. Callsign: Longbow Pick 6. HasLab HISS x 3. HasLab Dragonfly x 3. HasLab Ghost. |
03-08-2011, 09:44 PM | #50 |
1% Dreadnok
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: New Port Richey, FL
Posts: 318
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WoW! This post reminds me allot of the WWE "Wish them the best of luck in their Future Endeavors" that they tell the wrestlers they are firing.
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IM GOING TO DO SOMETHING BETTER THAT, IM A MAKE A NAME FOR MYSELF! |
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