|
Community Links |
Social Groups |
Pictures & Albums |
Members List |
Search Forums |
Advanced Search |
Go to Page... |
|
Thread Tools |
08-06-2008, 04:29 AM | #1 |
Banned
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,063
|
Have any witty/sarcastic observations of your favorite military fantasy? Put'em down here!!!
Some of mine- Why was Sgt. Slaughter able to defeat a flying immortal warrio by throwing him down a shaft? If, in the cartoon, Cobra could create giant amusement parks of death, living furbies that can change form with a whistle, machines that can teleport people and matter and a weather control device and HUNDREDS of other technological marvels, including, but not limited to brain-washing, gene-splicing and genetic engineering, WHY DIDN'T THEY ST GO COMMERCIAL? Seriously, if they had, they'd be so rich, they could just BUY the world. If Major Bludd ALWAYS loses, then why does the Commander even employ him? Is everyone in our military ninjas? Or does it just seem like it? Why do they need firefighteras, baseball pitchers, cowboys and sailors in an elite military anti-terrorist team? It's like the Village People with M-16s. How many different forms of standard infantry does an evil terrorist organization need? We have Hector, Marvin, Conrad, Dwight, Dwayne, Dashiel.. But no Johns, Tims, Chris', etc.? |
Snake Eyes-Joe Ninja |
View Public Profile |
Find More Posts by Snake Eyes-Joe Ninja |
08-06-2008, 05:25 AM | #2 |
0r n0th1ng
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 599
|
Why was Sgt. Slaughter able to defeat a flying immortal warrio by throwing him down a shaft?
For the same reason why you're not suppose to touch a butterfly's wings. If, in the cartoon, Cobra could create giant amusement parks of death, living furbies that can change form with a whistle, machines that can teleport people and matter and a weather control device and HUNDREDS of other technological marvels, including, but not limited to brain-washing, gene-splicing and genetic engineering, WHY DIDN'T THEY ST GO COMMERCIAL? Seriously, if they had, they'd be so rich, they could just BUY the world. Well, some would argue the Twins did exactly that. But I think it was because of the chicks. Chicks dig bad boys. Plus, Cobra Commander hated Yuppies. Sure, there's the argument that maybe if they had chosen to incorporate in Nevada instead of whichever state Springfield was in, they could have easily gone either way...but it still comes down to the chicks. If Major Bludd ALWAYS loses, then why does the Commander even employ him? He has to hire Bludd under his agreement w/ the EEOC. You do not mess w/ the EEOC. Is everyone in our military ninjas? Or does it just seem like it? You wouldn't know they were ninjas if they were real ninjas...so perhaps they just want you to think they're ninjas so you automatically discredit their true ninja status...it's crazy enough to work. Why do they need firefighteras, baseball pitchers, cowboys and sailors in an elite military anti-terrorist team? It's like the Village People with M-16s. Nobody likes showing up to a party wearing the same outfit. How many different forms of standard infantry does an evil terrorist organization need? Cobra's true genius lies in their marketing. They've always had the coolest outfits. I think they just wanted to make sure that their future licensing of action figures and bobbleheads would have a strong catalog to pull from. We have Hector, Marvin, Conrad, Dwight, Dwayne, Dashiel.. But no Johns, Tims, Chris', etc.? Those are the names given to them when they assume their roles in GI Joe. The formula is very similar to picking your porn name or your dragqueen name. It has something to do w/ using the street name of the house you were born in and/or the middle name of your first pet...I don't quite remember. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Now, what I want to know is why Cobra spends so much time teaching their troops how to safely eject from a vehicle seconds before the explosion, but the actual combat skill training seems to have been completed through a single take-home test. I mean just one of those Trouble Bubbles gotta cost more than any wrongful death suit...there's not even a family anymore to bring up the litigation. Invest more in the combat skills and tell them that you're taking out the eject button in every vehicle and I guarantee that you'll have more victories on the side of Cobra. |
08-06-2008, 07:41 AM | #3 |
Hisstank.Com General
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Selkirk, NY
Posts: 5,628
|
Heres one...
why the HELL did Larry Hamma give the Drednoks such LAME names such as WINKIN ,BLINKIN,and NOD?!? and another... If the Vipers are the "bottom of the ladder" of Cobra troops...why do they have bullet proof vests and full head helmets, when the others dont? "hey your promoted! gimme that armor back!" |
08-06-2008, 07:46 AM | #4 |
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hiding from the ROC Police
Posts: 14,738
|
Major Bludd was a pretty good officer in the 1st 2 mini series. He was actually pretty competent(sp)
|
Monkeywrench |
View Public Profile |
Find More Posts by Monkeywrench |
08-06-2008, 08:14 AM | #5 |
Roboskull Pilot
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: North West England
Posts: 5,181
|
A specific 'nitpick' thread? Why bother? The whole forum is full of 'em.
__________________
-----------------There's no shame in being a pariah----------------- |
08-06-2008, 08:59 AM | #6 |
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Where people are De-evolved
Posts: 2,125
|
|
08-06-2008, 09:05 AM | #7 |
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Fontana
Posts: 1,802
|
um, hmmm, ok trying to ignore suspension of disbelief ok.
How is it that for such an elite team, of characters on both sides really, they miss their shots. alot. nearly all the time. And how is it that the same gun can be used to stop a vehicle and then used to shoot xamots hand so he drops the gun? And what is the real point of the gogles on the vipers? And why does Cobra commander put up with ANYONE challenging his authority? Where did mindbender come from in the cartoon. He just appeared one day like he was always there. and why do all the NEW comics that come with the comic packs just suck so bad? |
Dark 5cythe |
View Public Profile |
Find More Posts by Dark 5cythe |
08-06-2008, 09:34 AM | #8 |
Banned
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 29,433
|
OK GI JOE has 1 base of operations. Cobra has like a headquarters within 100 yards of each other around the world with some hi-tech crap in each one. I mean Texas, Antarica, Underwater, in a Cove where no one can see??? I'm sure the twins can get the Commander some money, BUT NOT TO FUND ALL THAT!!! And I don't know how fast all the GI JOE Vehicles can go, but it must be warp speed because 1 minute they are calling for backup and 2 minutes later it is there!!
|
The Batman |
View Public Profile |
Find More Posts by The Batman |
08-06-2008, 09:42 AM | #9 |
Roboskull Pilot
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: North West England
Posts: 5,181
|
All these are cartoon related and as such, pretty rhetorical (I mean, it was a cartoon!):
How did an idiot like Bazooka make it into GI Joe? How did medic Doc know how to make "energy mirrors"? How come Joe tactics always involved charging at the enemy with guns blazing and yelling "Yo Joe" (and missing)? How come no fellow team members punched out the annoying Quick Kick?
__________________
-----------------There's no shame in being a pariah----------------- |
08-06-2008, 09:51 AM | #10 |
Hisstank.Com General
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Selkirk, NY
Posts: 5,628
|
in the cartoon, how did Quick Kick ( a karate guy) beat up Storm Shadow(a ninja,trained since like birth), Barefoot and shirtless....IN THE SNOW?!?
|
|
|
Recent Off Topic Threads |
2024 Toy Hauls |
G.I. Joe March Madness 2024 Championship Battle Armor... |
What song are you listening to? |
Hisstank Late Night thread... |
1:18 Airwolf kickstarter |