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11-29-2009, 10:51 PM | #21 |
Darth_Henning
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 21,174
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Quote:
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That is awesome DH! Loving it. I like the way you're exploring the character motivations which for me was always lacking in most Joe media. The desire to separate govt and big business is not only one of the big conspiracy theories of the ages but also a very real thing, like the G8, G10, G20 protestors, That's an awesome start and I really look forward to reading more. :)
I am reserving the right to change birthplaces and some specialties as needed. |
11-29-2009, 11:55 PM | #22 |
Rick Hunter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: MIA
Posts: 21,852
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Very Awesome! DH
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11-30-2009, 02:59 PM | #23 |
CallMeChuckles
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Western Colorado
Posts: 3,688
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I just finished Chuckles, and it's awesome!!!! Great stuff man! Way to go! Tank you! Yeah I said "tank" instead of "thank". Get it?
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My Customs: http://www.hisstank.com/forum/member...s-customs.html My wants:http://www.hisstank.com/forum/g-i-jo...nt-thread.html |
11-30-2009, 03:29 PM | #24 |
www.kittyspryde.com
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New Port Richey, Florida
Posts: 8,434
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Skidmark and Windmill need a place in this universe :D
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11-30-2009, 06:12 PM | #25 |
Darth_Henning
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 21,174
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Thank you.
Quote:
Glad you like him. He will be making several appearances throughout. Ask and ye shall recieve. They will make appearances in the next story. (Saddy, due to writer's block the Lifeline one is on hold, so it will be replaced for today's release) |
11-30-2009, 07:22 PM | #26 |
Darth_Henning
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 21,174
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02/25/2022 - Psych-Out
Oslo - Vanderbert Night Club - Weekly Rave Flashing lights illuminate the room as Cyril Colombani and Edward Roth make their way through the packed crowds. "You know Ski....er Cyril, you really have to loosen up man. You stick out like a sore thumb." Edward recovered just in time, remembering to use his partner's real name. "Your just jealous my car goes faster than your chopper." Edward shook his head, some things never changed. "You have any idea who we're looking for Ed?" "Blond guy, 5'10", apparently the DJ." "I'm not seeing a stage. Just a lot of people who should be having talks with the police." "Scantily clad women aren't illegal up here." "No, but the drugs the guys are popping in their drinks are. I still say we run them in." "Not what we're paid to do. I don't thing Joe would look too kindly on us wasting time on these bums. Just find this guy, what's his name?" "Kennith Rich." "Of course you'd remember." They continued to push their way through the crowd, trying to orient themselves through the flashes of the lights. Cyril's upright bearing kept most of the revelers away from him, but Edward found himself being jostled all the time, which he found quite unpleasant, and propositioned by many of the female revelers, which he found much less unpleasant. Too bad he was only going to be here for another few hours, or he might have enjoyed some company. But orders were orders, fly Ed in, find Kennith, and get him out. How hard could it be? Eight days of searching proved it was actually quite difficult to find him at the parties. "How exactly does someone go from being the top psychological warfare officer in the European Union, to a DJ anyway?" "Probably trying to perfect new techniques, could you imagine trying to fight in this?" Ed yelled over the techno blaring through the club's speakers. Edward had to concede the point. "There," Cyril nodded towards a small booth near the back door of the club. "Your shorter, cut off the exit, I'll come up on his left. We'll take him out the back. There's no way we'd get him through this." Edward nodded and slid through the crowd. Ok, Cyril thought, fingering the auto-injector that Lifeline had handed him before they left the PIT, lets hope he cooperates, I'm not too keen on sticking him with this. But you gotta do what ya gotta do. He edged through the crowd, elbowing a few very drunken girls, who he was sure were underage, out of the way on his way to the booth. Reaching the booth, he slid between the table and the wall and up beside Kennith Rich. "Yo man, yous got no business in the booth, man. Ya should head back out on the floor, loosen up, pick up some babes." "I'm not here for that Mr. Rich-" "Dr. Rich dude, got my PhD in Awesome Pownage from the University of Cool." Geez, this guy has got to be high on something. And a fairly large dose. Cyril gestured towards Edward to come over. They'd probably have to carry him out. There was no way he could stick him, the drugs in his system could kill him when combined with whatever Dr. Steen had given him. How did a guy who got his degree at Berkley become a druggie? "Well then Dr. Rich, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me." Suddenly the distracted look left Kennith's eyes. "Excuse me? I'm trying to do my job here. If your a cop get the fuck out and let me work. I'm not high, I've done nothing illegal, and I will kick you and your buddy's ass if you touch me." Oh, OK then, thought Cyril. NOT doped up. Just one hell of an actor. But then again, the guy's degree is in psycho warfare... "Sir, we work for Generals Colton, Flagg and Abernathy. I know you worked with all three. They need your help." "I told them, and I'm telling you now," Kennith turned away from his station, "leave me alone!" "That's not what they said." "What's your clearance code?" "Excuse me?" "If they really sent you you'd know the clearance code." Oh screw this thought Cyril, people are staring, and they had no code word. There was only one way to play this. In one motion he pulled the auto-injector from his coat, and jabbed it into Kennith's stomach. "I...you...wow, now those are some pretty colors." Kennith Rich's body slumped back into the arms of Edward. "Good catch." "Yeah, now we just need to get him out of here." "Hey man!" called one of the revelers, "What'ch doin' wid our D_hay?" "Out the door, now!" Cyril ordered. Which was probably unnecessary in hindsite as Edward was already throwing Kennith over his shoulder and heading for the exit. Thankfully most of the revelers couldn't see them, but a few called after. The two men and their human cargo barged out into the street, heading for an unmarked military jeep parked at the end of the alley. Edward threw Kennith's body in the back of the vehicle as Cyril gunned the engine, and they were off. "You know speeding is just going to make us look more guilty right Skidmark?" "You did realize that there was a cop following us for the last 3 hours right?" "Oh." "Yeah, OH! We weren't supposed to be here, and if I'm not mistaken, that black car following us is the cops. I hope you can get the Tomahawk in the air fast." "We need eight minutes for a full warm up." "We won't HAVE eight minutes Windmill! How about a cold start?" "What happened to Mr. Perfection?" "He's in a hurry." "All right, all right. I can get us up with a cold start in about 30 seconds." "Much better." The VAMP tore out of the city, pushing 180MPH. Thankfully the police, or whoever they were, were falling behind. Edward had pulled out his Blackberry and was attempting to uplink to the Tomahawk, just 10 miles away. "Come on, come on.....GOT IT! Rear bay doors opening." "Good man." Cyril guided the VAMP on a reckless obstacle course through the countryside, and down a slope into a depression. Sitting there in the dark, in the lee of a pair of cliffs, hidden from view from all angles but directly above, sat a Tomahawk helicopter. The VAMP tore up the back ramp, and skidded to a stop just short of the forward bulkhead. Both men leaped out. Cyril heading for the ramp switch, Edward for the cockpit. One semi-successful extraction. Cyril just hoped that their flight out of the city wouldn't be covered by every local media outlet. General Colton's Office - The Rock - LOCATION CLASSIFIED "You guys are damn LUCKY that you aren't on every major news station from here to Hong Kong! What the hell were you thinking?" After 6 months with the team Cyril knew better to answer the general when he was in this mood. Edward, after only 4 weeks, apparently did not. "Well sir, we though that-" "That's just it! You DIDN'T think!! Your Joes! You're not supposed to draw attention to yourself, let alone be followed by the cops! Your supposed to be better than that! Get out of my office before I throw you out. Your leave privileges are suspended until further notice!" Cyril followed Edward into the hall, shaking his head. They'd screwed up badly, but that could have gone much worse, at least they were in a better position than Duke. Cyril shuddered. Hell, Hauser was lucky he had only been busted down to private, most joes would have been court-marshaled for that... Medical Bay 1E - The Rock - LOCATION CLASSIFIED "He alright LL?" asked Laurence Flagg. "He's fine. But he had a couple drinks in his system when Skidmark stuck him," replied Lifeline, "so it will take him a few minutes longer to regain full consciousness." More gibberish emerged from Kennith Rich's mouth. "There's some stuff I could put in his system, but I'd advise against it." "All right then. We'll wait." "We?" "You got somewhere you need to go? Your the one who demanded a place on the command staff." Lifeline shrugged and leaned back on his operating chair. Give him 10 minutes. Dormatories -The Rock - LOCATION CLASSIFIED Cyril was looking forward to hitting the sack. What he was not looking forward to was talking to his room-mate. Clutch wasn't a bad guy, but he could be irritating at times. Perhaps he'd just ask Steeler if he could crash in his bed for a few hours. He'd understand. He'd had to work with Clutch on that thing in Mozambique. Yeah, that's what he'd do. Safer and quieter. Mess Hall - The Rock - LOCATION CLASSIFIED Edward leaned on the counter. "Roadblock, I really don't care what you have, just serve me whatever's hot and filling." "Ya sure man? You look like you've had a rough day." "Yeah, General Colton's a bit pissed of with me. I screwed up." "He'll get over it. He just has a short temper, but he always forgives. Eventually." "That really doesn't make me feel better. You know that right?" Medical Bay 1E - The Rock - LOCATION CLASSIFIED "Oh man, those were some really intense drugs you used there...Lifeline was it?" "Sorry, but it was the only way we were sure you'd come back here," replied Flagg. "So, I take it my deep-cover op is over?" "Yeah, we need you for something else." "What precisely?" "You remember Black Thursday?" "Who doesn't." "Well, we're the team who's taking down the bastards who caused it." "That's all I need to know. My Uncle was at the Kremlin. I'm in." "Good man. Lifeline will make sure your OK, and then we'll take you down to the ops center and get you caught up." "Do I get a funny name?" "Code name," Lifeline interjected rolling his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean." "Lifeline, be nice." Flagg admonished. "You have one in mind Ken?" "Yeah, call me Psych-out." Code Name: Psych-Out File Name: Kennith Rich Birthplace: San Francisco, California Rank: O-2 Primary Military Specialty: Psy Ops Secondary Military Specialty: Engineering |
11-30-2009, 10:38 PM | #27 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,294
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That is awesome, when you're finished,can I have a signed HC cover please? :)
I love the way you made Psyche Out a bad ass. He's a Psy Ops soldier which he means he's Special Forces but most people portray him as a shrink. Loving everything so far, especially the nuances like Clutch being hard to contend with when all you want is to sack out. Nice! |
12-01-2009, 02:07 AM | #28 |
Iron Grenadier Sorcerer
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Silent Castle
Posts: 34,271
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I'm thoroughly enjoying this!
I like how you write. I like how you're structuring things and introducing the characters...the filecard info at the end is a stylish touch. And I like the character interpretations.
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12-01-2009, 04:19 AM | #29 |
Darth_Henning
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 21,174
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Quote:
That is awesome, when you're finished,can I have a signed HC cover please? :)
I love the way you made Psyche Out a bad ass. He's a Psy Ops soldier which he means he's Special Forces but most people portray him as a shrink. Loving everything so far, especially the nuances like Clutch being hard to contend with when all you want is to sack out. Nice! There are a few little details thrown in with each story as possible. Did you catch the part about Duke? Roadblock? If you read carefully (this being the generic second person you) you'll find there are a lot of little things that hint at future stories. Quote:
It's been years since I did anything creative for writing, so I'm a bit rusty, but I'm pleased its coming off well. A team just doesn't appear, it recruits. That's something I find missing from all the Joe media. New members just appear out of thin air, and you know next to nothing about them. I'd like to do an intro for every character, but with 300+ joes/cobras in the states, and another 200 or so internationally, that won't be possible any time soon, but I'm going to try to get all the major characters in. As for the file card info, it was a spur of the moment decision that I've decided I quite like. Haven't quite figured out what I'll do for the non-character-centric stories at the end yet though. |
12-01-2009, 04:22 AM | #30 |
Iron Grenadier Sorcerer
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The Silent Castle
Posts: 34,271
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