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02-27-2024, 11:21 AM | #1 |
Iron Grenadier
Join Date: Aug 2020
Location: Alabama
Posts: 868
|
I've had this story on the backburner for many years now, and I'm finally going beyond outlines and notes and even a recording I did of me covering the first season while driving to a work conference and making a solid effort at pulling this off. Of course, I'm kicking myself in the ass for doing this after Skybound is already rolling with a pretty great (imo) CC origin story, but them's the breaks.
I wanted to do a take on Cobra Commander's pre-Commander days in sort of a Breaking Bad fashion...where we meet this normal, everyday guy who struggles enough as it is but winds up being overwhelmed by circumstances beyond his control that ultimately send him on a dark path towards villainy and ruthlessness and just all around nastiness. I always envisioned this as a series, and I'm finally putting the finishing touches on the first eight episode "season." I initially intended to call this "Once a Man," but I sort of feel like such a title probably isn't the best idea in 2024, so I'm...sort of at a loss. I've tried a few things, and it all comes off as corny to me. I just named the word files Cobra Commander: Year One. Happy to take any recommendations. Anyway, looooong story short, I wanted to share the first episode and see what you guys think. I have a strong aversion to forcing my creative works on people, so I'm absolutely cool if this isn't something I should continue. I wouldn't exactly call this a final draft, but I have revised it a few times more than the other episodes. Here ya go (and if anyone knows how to share this in file format, I'm happy to take directions) ?Cobra Commander: Year One? (Legacy of Venom? Venom and Valor (lol)? Once a Man? Work on this) EXT. LATTIMER MOTORS - NIGHT Close-up on flames reflecting off a glass surface....a slightly familiar, almost opaque surface. The fire dances, its light flickering and casting an ominous glow. The camera slowly zooms out to reveal the flames are reflected in the eyeglasses of CHRIS LATTIMER (mid-30s), disheveled, wearing a bathrobe, standing amidst the chaos of the night, his face a mask of shock, despair, and a hint of something darker. The once bustling Lattimer Motors is engulfed in flames, a symbol of dreams turned to ash. Chris watches, the weight of his world collapsing evident in his eyes. CUT TO BLACK TITLE CARD: THREE WEEKS EARLIER EXT. LATTIMER MOTORS - DAY The camera follows CHRIS LATTIMER as he navigates through the car lot, a veneer of charm masking his desperation. Beside him, a NERDY TEENAGER, wide-eyed and clearly out of his depth. CHRIS (to the Teenager) You see, this model right here is just about the best you can get for your needs. Reliable, stylish, and it?s got that edge you?re looking for. ?Taurus.? Let it roll off your tongue. It?s a powerful word, Ryan. For a powerful car. Chris leads the teen around the car, his demeanor increasingly predatory as he senses the desperation in the young buyer. CHRIS Look, a Taurus isn't just a vehicle; it's a statement. And a 2005? Kid, if you want to impress the ladies this is how you do it. The Teenager nods, visibly excited...naive as hell. RYAN Yeah, exactly! I mean, I don't know much about cars, but this seems great! CHRIS (seizing the opportunity, voice slick) It's more than great; it's a steal. For you, I'll even throw in a deal on the insurance. Trust me, you won't find anything like this elsewhere. As they approach the office, Chris's internal conflict becomes apparent. He pauses, looking at the Teenager with a mix of pity and disdain. CHRIS (suddenly harsh) You know what? This is ridiculous. You're a kid. You have no idea what you're getting into. RYAN (confused and defensive) What? But you said? CHRIS (interrupting, voice rising) I said get out of here, you dolt! You're being played, and you're too stupid to see it. Didn?t your have parents to teach you anything about money, or are they as foolish as you? Ryan, now indignant and humiliated, storms off. Chris watches, a momentary flicker of remorse in his eyes before he hardens again and storms into his office to end the scene. EXT. LATTIMER MOTORS - NIGHT The lot is deserted, save for the sound of DAN LATTIMER's car screeching to a halt. He exits the vehicle, clearly intoxicated, fumbling with his phone. DAN (slurring into the phone) Listen, I just need a bit more time. You know I'm good for it. Silence from the other end. Dan's frustration mounts. DAN (angrily) I said I need more time! What part of that don't you understand? A pause as he listens, then his anger explodes. DAN (screaming) You'll get your damn money when I say you'll get it! He throws the phone against his car, watching it shatter. The pieces of the phone mirror the pieces of his life?broken beyond repair. Stumbling into his makeshift office, he collapses into a chair, the weight of his decisions crashing down on him. He notices the old family photo, picking it up with trembling hands. DAN (voice cracking, to the photo) Look at us... Dad. Chris, I? [I]His voice trails off as the reality of his situation sinks in. He stands, a moment of clarity in his drunken stupor, and makes his way to Chris's office, breaking in. Inside, he rifles through Chris's files, desperation clear in his actions. He finds what he's looking for, a momentary glimpse of hope flashing across his face.[I] DAN (mutters to himself) This might just work. Goddammit. INT. LATTIMER HOUSE - NIGHT The screen is entirely black, accompanied only by the sound of a baby crying. Suddenly, a lamp flicks on, illuminating the bedroom of the Lattimer house. CHRIS LATTIMER is lying in bed beside his wife, LAURA LATTIMER. He groggily stirs as the cries continue. CHRIS (half-asleep) I'll get him, Laura. Go back to sleep. Laura hesitates, looking torn between wanting to tend to their baby and letting Chris take care of it. Eventually, she relents and sinks back into the pillows. LAURA Okay... But if you need anything... [I]Chris nods, his eyes already closed again. He gets out of bed and heads to the nursery, where their year-old son, BILLY, is crying. As Chris enters the room, Billy's cries gradually subside, replaced by coos of happiness.[/I[ CHRIS (softly) Hey there, champ. What's got you so worked up, huh? Chris picks up Billy and begins to soothe him, rocking him gently back and forth. Laura enters the room, watching them from the doorway with a mixture of fondness and concern. LAURA (softly) Is he okay? CHRIS (reassuringly) Yeah, he's just a little fussy tonight. Nothing to worry about. As Chris continues to comfort Billy, Laura steps closer, her expression thoughtful. LAURA Chris, I was thinking... With Billy getting older, we're going to need to start thinking about his future. And, you know... Chris's demeanor shifts slightly, his smile becoming strained as he tries to maintain his facade. CHRIS (assuringly) Don't worry, Laura. We'll figure it out. We always do. LAURA (skeptically) I don't know, Chris. Business hasn't been great in a long time, and this year, we're really running in the red. I don't see what we have to figure out? Chris's expression tightens at Laura's mention of Lattimer Motors, but he quickly tries to brush it off. CHRIS (dismissively) It's just a rough patch, Laura. We've been through worse. Besides, with my sales skills and your budgeting, we'll turn things around in no time. Despite her doubts, Laura seems to relax slightly, reassured by Chris's calm demeanor. LAURA (reluctantly) I hope you're right, Chris. As Chris continues to speak, the camera zooms in on Billy, who is gazing up at his father with adoration, unaware of the tension in the room. EXT - LATTIMER MOTORS The scene opens with CHRIS LATTIMER arriving at Lattimer Motors in the morning. His expression is grim as he approaches his office, noticing the disheveled state of the car lot. As Chris enters his office, he freezes in shock at the sight of DAN LATTIMER passed out on the floor, empty bottles scattered around him. The filing cabinet is still open from the night before, and Chris's fury boils over. CHRIS (furious) Dan! What the hell are you doing here? Dan stirs groggily, attempting to compose himself as he struggles to sit up. DAN (sheepishly) Chris... I... I must've... I'm sorry, I... Chris cuts him off, his anger barely contained. CHRIS (accusatory) You're sorry? You come in here in a drunkenj stupor and pass out on my office floor? Dan tries to deflect, but Chris notices the open drawer on the filing cabinet, his suspicion growing. CHRIS (pointing) And what's this? What were you looking for? Dan's demeanor shifts, his tone becoming defensive. DAN (dismissively) Oh, come on, Chris. I was wasted. How am I supposed to know? Besides, it doesn't matter. Chris's frustration mounts as he begins to berate his brother, his voice rising with each accusation. CHRIS (angrily) It does matter, Dan! Business is in the toilet, and all you do is make it worse. You're a liability. You're not just hurting the business, you're hurt my wife! My son! Dan's facade crumbles, his pent-up resentment bubbling to the surface. DAN: (enraged) Oh, spare me, Chris! You think you're so perfect, don't you? You've got the wife, the kid. It all worked out just fine for little brother, didn?t it? Well what about me? Chris bristles at Dan's words, his own anger rising to match his brother's. CHRIS (defiantly) What about you? Where were you when I needed you? When Dad died, when I had to pick up the pieces of this business? Who buried him, Dan? Who drug your ass out of the bar and to the funeral? Dan's anger consumes him, and he lunges forward, grabbing Chris by the collar and throwing him across the office. Chris lands with a thud, stunned by the sudden violence. DAN (seething) You're nothing but a snake, Chris. A pathetic. Spineless. Snake. Without another word, Dan storms out of the office, the sound of his car engine roaring to life echoing through the lot as he speeds away. INT. LATTIMER HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT CHRIS storms into the house, his fury palpable. The door slams shut behind him with a thud that echoes through the quiet home. LAURA, seated on the couch, looks up, her expression one of concern that quickly morphs into alarm at the sight of him. LAURA (concerned) Chris, what?s wrong? You?re shaking. CHRIS (barely containing his rage) Dan. Always Dan. Well no more. He paces back and forth, each word laced with a venom that seems foreign to the man Laura knew. CHRIS (voice rising) He?s a black hole, Laura. Sucking us all in. I?m done denying it. Laura stands, approaching him with a calming hand outstretched, trying to pierce his tempest of anger. LAURA (gently) Chris, please. This isn?t you. You need to calm down, Billy's asle? CHRIS (turning on her, his anger sharpening into something cold and decisive) Billy? Who do you think I?m thinking about? Are you blind to the fact that he?s dragging us all down, Billy with him? Do you underestimate me so much? Are you really so foolish? Laura recoils as if physically struck, the severity of Chris?s words cutting deep. LAURA (shocked, whispering) Chris... CHRIS (firmly, with a dark finality) He?s not my brother. Not anymore. If he wants to burn his life to the ground, let him. He?s dead to me. From now on, he?s nothing but a stranger. Worse than a stranger. He?s an enemy, and I?ll burn him to the ground before I let him destroy all that I?ve built. The silence that follows is heavy, filled with the echo of Chris?s declaration. Laura stares at him, seeing the man she loves morph into someone unrecognizable, someone capable of a hardness she never imagined. LAURA (voice trembling, tears brimming) Chris?.. CHRIS (interrupting, a fierce determination in his gaze) No, Laura. Some lines, once crossed, there?s no coming back from. He crossed them long ago. I?m just accepting it now. Suddenly, BILLY?s cries cut through the tension, a stark reminder of the innocence still present in their lives. Laura, shaken, glances from Chris to the direction of Billy?s room, torn. LAURA (hesitantly, then with resolve) I?ll... I?ll go check on Billy. She leaves the room, her departure leaving Chris alone with his tumultuous thoughts. His anger slowly dissipates, leaving behind a haunting realization of the chasm his words have opened not just between him and Dan, but within his own family. The scene closes on Chris, a solitary figure amidst the shadows of the living room, the gravity of his transformation dawning on him as the echoes of his own declarations linger in the air. EXT. SEEDY PARKING LOT - NIGHT The scene opens with DAN LATTIMER pacing back and forth under the dim glow of a flickering street lamp, phone pressed to his ear. His desperation is palpable, even in the way he clutches the phone. DAN (into the phone, trying to sound confident) Listen, I've got a plan. Just need a little more time, that's all. Cut to: INT. BUZZER'S PLACE - SAME TIME The camera pans to reveal Dick Blinken, better known as BUZZER, on the other end of the line. He's a menacing figure, his blonde ponytail and trademark glasses making him instantly recognizable. Buzzer lounges in a dimly lit room adorned with biker paraphernalia, casually flipping an intimidating knife in one hand. BUZZER (sneering, his voice laced with menace) Time's a luxury you don't have anymore, Danny boy. You think this is a game? You've got until sunrise. After that, well... let's just say I'm not known for my patience. He pauses, letting the threat hang in the air, the sound of the knife clicking against his rings echoing ominously. BUZZER (continuing, almost playful in his threat) And remember, Dan, I'd hate to have to come down there and remind you personally. You wouldn't want that, trust me. I've got a certain... flair for making my point. The camera zooms in on Buzzer's face, his expression one of amusement mixed with a dangerous edge. He ends the call, tossing the phone aside with a chuckle. Cut back to: EXT. SEEDY PARKING LOT - NIGHT Dan ends the call, his face pale under the streetlight. He looks around the empty parking lot, a sense of dread settling in. The reality of his situation is clearer than ever. The camera pulls back, leaving Dan isolated and vulnerable as the weight of Buzzer's threat looms over him. The flickering light above him buzzes and goes out, plunging him into darkness as the screen fades to black. CUT TO BLACK NOTE: If you guys do want to see more, please forgive me, but I'm never going to take all the time I just did implementing the bold and italic text.
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DoubtFire: Horror, Wrestling, Video Games, Attempts at Humor, and Toy Photography: https://doubtfireblog.wordpress.com/ ; www.instagram.com/DoubtFireToys Last edited by EvilMeanie; 04-17-2024 at 05:32 PM.. |
03-26-2024, 02:13 PM | #2 |
Iron Grenadier
Join Date: Aug 2020
Location: Alabama
Posts: 868
|
I did a lot of tinkering with Episode 2 and, by extension, pretty much the entirety of the first big story arc. I was reading through what I had and it just seemed...idk. I wanted to try and spice it up a bit and try to avoid falling into the trap of overused cliches.
Sorry for not bodling an italicizing stuff, but it's tedious and I don't wanna. Thanks for reading. Any and all feedback is appreciated. Seriously. Rip me apart if necessary!! =-=-=-=-=- EPISODE 2 =-=-=-=-=- EXT. AFGHANISTAN DESERT – DAY (FLASHBACK) The camera hovers low over the arid, sun-baked landscape of the Afghan desert. A COBRA, sleek and deadly, slithers silently across the sand. Its scales shimmer under the relentless sun as it tracks a lizard with deadly intent. The lizard, oblivious to the danger, scampers across the rocks. Suddenly, the cobra strikes—fast, precise. The lizard has no chance. The cobra's victim is caught in a lethal embrace, destined to be consumed. But the moment of triumph is short-lived. A low rumbling grows louder, echoing across the desert. The cobra, sensing the disturbance, flicks its tongue, tasting the air. It hastily retreats, barely escaping the path of a speeding military truck. Relief is fleeting—the following vehicle mercilessly crushes the snake under its heavy wheels. CUT TO: The camera follows the second truck from above. As we zoom in, the metal beast becomes transparent, revealing its occupants. Inside, DAN LATTIMER, younger and untouched by the weight of future guilt, is laughing, his body language exuding confidence. Seated beside him is his best friend, BIG ZEKE…a man who truly earned the “Big” nickname…equally jovial but with an underlying steadiness that grounds Dan's exuberance. DAN: (grinning) Once we're out of this hellhole, Zeke, you're coming to work for me. It’s my dad’s place, man. You and me in the shop? We’ll have it made. BIG ZEKE: (chuckling) From the desert to the dealership, huh? You sure your old man's ready for a nutcase like me? DAN: (slapping Zeke on the back) Like he’s got a choice! Family benefits, man. Zeke gives Dan a look, one that says he knows the score. It's clear in that glance that while Dan believes he's the one looking out for Zeke, it’s a 50/50 arrangement. BIG ZEKE: (smirking) Just remember, it’s me who’s got your back out here. Who's gonna keep you alive out here? Hell, I ain’t even got a choice if I want that job. Dan laughs…sure of himself. Comfortable in his surroundings. Too comfortable, but you’re not gonna tell him that. As they ride on, their laughter echoes, a fleeting moment of connection in the vast, indifferent desert. CUT TO: INT. LATTIMER HOUSE - LAURA'S BEDROOM – MORNING (PRESENT DAY) The room is bathed in the soft, early morning light. LAURA wakes, surprised by the silence that envelops the house. It's an unusual feeling, the first time in months she's woken up past dawn. The clock reads 8:30 AM. Laura lets out an audible gasp. Something’s wrong. No way the house is this quiet. Not with Billy. For a moment, she’s overwhelmed with desperation. She runs towards Billy’s room only to find him sleeping peacefully in his crib, a rare moment of quiet. Relieved, she calls out as she makes her way downstairs. LAURA: (calling out) Chris? Are you here? The house responds with silence. The absence feels heavy. In the kitchen, she discovers a box of fancy pastries on the counter, complete with a small note. CLOSE-UP: THE NOTE “Thought you and Billy might enjoy these. Have a great day. -C” Before LAURA can process the gesture, the sound of a car engine starting jolts her. She rushes to the window, just in time to see CHRIS pulling out of the driveway. She stands there, holding the note, a complex mix of emotions crossing her face. We end the scene focused on the box of tasty treats that offer zero comfort. CUT TO: EXT. LATTIMER MOTORS – DAY (PRESENT DAY) The upbeat opening riff of "Let the Good Times Roll" by The Cars sets the tone as we dive into a vibrant montage of CHRIS LATTIMER in his element at LATTIMER MOTORS. Chris, with a magnetic smile, greets a hesitant couple stepping onto the lot. He confidently guides them towards a sleek sedan. CHRIS: (charmingly) Aha! I’ve got my eye on this one, myself! This isn't just a car; it's the start of your next big adventure. Cut to the couple laughing, clearly won over, as they shake hands with Chris. A nervous first-time buyer inspects a compact car. Chris claps a reassuring hand on their shoulder. CHRIS: (reassuring) Believe me, it's as reliable as it gets. Perfect for a new driver. I’ve got my eye on this one, myself! The next shot shows the young buyer beaming, holding the keys. Chris is seen with a family, the parents unsure about a minivan. He opens the door, revealing the spacious interior. CHRIS: (enthusiastically) Space for the kids, the dog, and peace of mind. I’ve got my eye on this one, myself. The montage shows the family's doubt turning into excitement as they nod in agreement. A montage within the montage: rapid-fire scenes of Chris shaking hands, handing over keys, and slapping congratulatory backs. Each customer leaves with a smile, convinced they've made the right choice. The music reaches a crescendo as the kid from Episode 1's opening scene arrives – accompanied by his parents, their faces tight with apprehension. The parents are clearly prepared for a fight. Chris meets them with open arms and a disarming smile. Through quick, efficient negotiation and that unflappable charm, their demeanor softens. The final shot of the montage is the family driving away in the 2005 Ford Taurus….the very same one from the first episode, looking surprisingly satisfied. Chris stands in the lot, waving them off, the very picture of success. The song fades with Chris alone on the lot, his smile lingering as he looks around his empire of asphalt and steel. For a moment, he's not just a car salesman; he's a king in his domain. CUT TO BLACK. EXT. BASE CAMP IN AFGHANISTAN DESERT – NIGHT (FLASHBACK) The camera pans over a temporary military base camp under the vast, starlit sky. The tension of the day has given way to a brief respite as soldiers gather around a small fire, their rifles never far from reach. The air is filled with laughter and banter, a momentary escape from the realities of their situation. In the heart of the group sits DAN LATTIMER, holding court like a king among his knights. His charisma is undeniable, drawing everyone into his orbit. Soldiers laugh a little harder at his jokes, listen a bit more intently to his stories. SOLDIER #1: (laughing) Dan, you serious? I bet you’re out here because your old man doesn’t want you anywhere near that car lot! DAN: (grinning) Yeah maybe. But wait and see. When we get back, we’re all getting the family discount. So don’t do something stupid like dying out here. The group erupts in cheers and laughter, basking in the warmth of camaraderie and the glow of the fire. Off to the side, BIG ZEKE watches, a slight smile on his face but clearly on the outskirts of the circle. Noticing this, Dan gestures Zeke over with a broad, welcoming arm. DAN: (calling out) Hey, Zeke! Get over here, man. What’s with this loner bit? Zeke hesitates for a moment before joining the group, welcomed by a space that Dan clears beside him. The soldiers make room, some offering nods of greeting. Dan launches into another tale, this time making sure Zeke is an integral part of the narrative. DAN: (to the group, wrapping an arm around Zeke's shoulders) You guys just don’t understand Big Zeke. He’s the only here who gets it. If we could clone this man for this desert gig, this whole mess would be over and we’d have been home last month. Laughter fills the air again, but this time, Zeke is laughing along with everyone else. For a moment, he's not just the tagalong; he's part of the team, thanks to Dan. CUT TO: A quieter moment as the laughter dies down. Dan and Zeke share a look, an unspoken understanding passing between them. DAN: (softly, to Zeke) Back home, buddy. All we’ve gotta do is make it back home. Zeke nods, the firelight reflecting in his eyes, filled with trust and an unwavering belief in Dan's words. CUT TO BLACK. EXT. LATTIMER HOUSE - LATE AFTERNOON (PRESENT DAY) CHRIS pulls up to his house in a cherry red 1968 Ford Mustang, the kind of classic car that turns heads and perfectly exemplifies the quality found at Lattimer Motors. His mood is visibly upbeat, a stark contrast to the tension that usually surrounds him. He exits the car with a lightness to his step, almost humming to himself, clearly riding the high of a successful day. CUT TO: INT. LATTIMER HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Chris enters, expecting the warmth of home to match his mood. He calls out, expecting an answer, but the silence that greets him sours his spirits. CHRIS: (calling out) Laura? Billy? No response. His brows furrow as he moves through the house, the absence of his family gnawing at him. CHRIS: (muttering to himself) Could've called... Not a big ask, is it? He tosses his keys on the counter, his movements growing more agitated as he searches for some sign of a note. CHRIS: (increasingly frustrated) A note. One simple note. His search turns frantic, opening drawers, flipping through papers on the fridge, his good day darkening with each passing moment. CHRIS: (under his breath, anger rising) Where are they?! The tension builds, Chris's temper flaring up, showcasing a glimpse of the control he demands over his environment and the people in it. He grips a glass a little too tightly, his frustration nearing its peak. SOUND: The beep of the answering machine cuts through the tension. Laura's voice fills the room, light and apologetic. LAURA'S VOICE (from the machine): Hey, honey! Megan took me and Billy out for a quick lunch. Didn't think to leave a note since we won’t be long. See you soon! Love you! The rage in Chris dissipates as suddenly as it appeared, replaced by a moment of clarity. He looks down, noticing for the first time the glass shattered in his hand, blood starting to seep from a cut. The realization of his overreaction and the physical manifestation of his anger shocks him back to reality. He carefully removes the remnants of the glass, his expression one of self-reproach. CUT TO BLACK. EXT. TEMPORARY BASE IN AFGHAN DESERT – DAWN (FLASHBACK) The day breaks over the temporary base, casting a soft, golden light that belies the danger of the surroundings. Soldiers are a flurry of activity, their movements a well-rehearsed dance of deconstruction and preparation. The camera pans across the scene, capturing the essence of military life: the giving of orders, the swift dismantling of tents, and the meticulous stowing of gear. The comfort of routine. CUT TO: The focus narrows to DAN and ZEKE, who work side by side with an easy camaraderie, assisting in packing up the last of the equipment. They share a joke, a brief moment of levity in the stark desert morning. DAN: (laughing) Just think of it as extreme camping, Zeke. ZEKE: (smirking) With a slightly higher chance of getting shot at. The camera follows them as they make their way to one of the military trucks. It's loaded with supplies and waiting soldiers. DAN and ZEKE climb aboard, finding their seats among the others. The truck's engine rumbles to life, a deep, growling promise of the journey ahead. CUT TO: Inside the truck, TRENT and MERKEL sit opposite DAN and ZEKE. Two kids without the advantage of experience. Their anxiety is palpable, their eyes scanning the horizon even as the convoy begins to move. The desert stretches out, an endless sea of sand and dust. TRENT: (nervously) You guys ever get used to this? The waiting, I mean. Feels like something's always about to go down. MERKEL: Yeah. I mean. I really don’t like this. I feel like that guy in the shark cage in Jaws. DAN, ever the optimist, claps TRENT on the shoulder, his grin infectious despite the undercurrent of tension. DAN: Relax. Days out here are uneventful. Just think of it as one long schoolbus ride. ZEKE chuckles but keeps his gaze steady. ZEKE: ….This fool’s over here talking about school. Listen boys, follow protocols, and watch each other's backs. Nothing to it. The camaraderie and shared jokes do little to quell the underlying sense of foreboding as the convoy snakes its way through the desert landscape. DAN continues to play the role of the morale booster, his words aiming to calm the nerves of his younger comrades. DAN: Honestly, military life's more about the boredom than anything else. You'll see, it's not like— SUDDEN CUT TO WHITE WITH THE SOUND OF AN EXPLOSION. CUT BACK TO: The intense white screen fades into the brutal chaos of the ambush. Bullets whizz past as the scene zeroes in on DAN, his face a mask of determination and fear. MERKEL is stranded in no-man's land, his situation dire. DAN: (yelling) I'm going for him! Before he can move, ZEKE grabs his shoulder, halting him. ZEKE: You ain’t going for shit with that leg! DAN glances down, noticing his wound for the first time—blood seeping through his uniform. The realization hits him; he's incapacitated. DAN: (desperate) I’m not leaving him! ZEKE: (determined) Cover me! You can buy me lunch at the shop! Zeke makes a break for Merkel, moving with a calculated quickness. DAN provides cover fire, his heart in his throat. It goes wrong. Of course. ZEKE is hit, going down hard. DAN screams Zeke's name, his voice lost amidst the gunfire. DAN: (screaming) Zeke! Their eyes meet one last time—a silent goodbye—before ZEKE's gaze dims. CUT TO: A series of scenes unfolds, each punctuated by voiceovers and snippets of dialogue: DAN lies in a hospital bed, his expression empty. A CO commends him, speaking of heroism and duty. DAN's gaze is distant, his mind replaying Zeke's fall. CO's VOICEOVER: (praising) "Your bravery is commendable. You're going home a hero." We see a disheveled DAN in an airport. He’s greeted by CHRIS and LAURA, their smiles wide. DAN's response is mechanical, his eyes haunted. CHRIS, enthusiastic, brings DAN into the fold at Lattimer Motors. CHRIS's attempts to engage DAN fall on deaf ears. CHRIS: (trying to uplift) "Dad’s gone. I need you. This is our place now." A rapid montage of DAN leaving work, drowning his sorrows in bars, and stumbling home. His days blur into nights, each scene a step further into darkness. Voiceover of DAN discussing his pain, stress, and nightmares, intercut with visits to different doctors, collecting prescriptions. DAN's VOICEOVER: "There are no heroes, just survivors. And I'm not even sure I'm that anymore." DAN's losses mount, at card tables, pool halls, and in dimly lit rooms where he seeks oblivion in pills and powder. CUT TO: INT. – DAN’S APARTMENT DAN is jolted awake by frantic, forceful pounding on his door. Disoriented, he stumbles around, throwing on a shirt. He opens the door and finds himself eye to eye with BUZZER, a predatory grin on his face. BUZZER: (smiling) Dan Lattimer? We need to talk. CUT TO BLACK FADE IN: EXT. LATTIMER MOTORS - EVENING (PRESENT DAY) The lot at Lattimer Motors is quiet, the sun setting in the background casting long shadows between the rows of cars. The day's hustle has simmered down to a stillness, a stark contrast to the episode's opening vibrancy. CHRIS is closing up shop, locking doors, and turning off lights, his mind clearly preoccupied. As he steps outside, he pauses, noticing a figure approaching the lot. CUT TO: DAN walks toward Chris looking like a man carrying the weight of the world. The two brothers stand face to face in silence. Before Chris can speak, a car pulls up behind him. BUZZER steps out, his arrival unannounced but clearly expected by Dan, who hangs his head like a scolded dog. CHRIS: (surprised) Dan? What's going on? Who's this? DAN: (resigned) Chris... there’s some stuff you need to know. Buzzer smiles, not warmly, but with a calculated friendliness that doesn't quite reach his eyes. BUZZER: (extending a hand, which Chris doesn't take) Pleasure to finally meet you, Chris. I've heard a lot. And I believe we have some business to discuss regarding the future of Lattimer Motors. Chris looks from Buzzer to Dan, realization dawning. CHRIS: (tensely) I see….. The tension is palpable as the three men stand in the fading light. Chris's look of betrayal towards Dan speaks volumes, marking a turning point in their relationship. BUZZER: (cheerfully) Oh, why so glum? We’re business partners, boys. And we’re going to be making a lot of money together. The camera pulls back slowly, leaving the three figures in a standoff as the episode cuts to black. CUT TO BLACK.
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DoubtFire: Horror, Wrestling, Video Games, Attempts at Humor, and Toy Photography: https://doubtfireblog.wordpress.com/ ; www.instagram.com/DoubtFireToys Last edited by EvilMeanie; 03-26-2024 at 02:24 PM.. |
04-17-2024, 11:35 AM | #3 |
Iron Grenadier
Join Date: Aug 2020
Location: Alabama
Posts: 868
|
EPISODE THREE
============ FADE IN FROM BLACK: The buzz and flicker of an 80s CRT television come to life, the screen adjusting to reveal the busy, vibrant lot of Lattimer Motors under a clear blue sky. Prominently displayed in the background is a large American flag, rippling in the breeze. It makes you want to grab a slice of Mom’s apple pie and sing the Star Spangled Banner. LARRY "DOUBLE L" LATTIMER stands at the forefront, a beacon of integrity and American spirit, against a backdrop of pristine vehicles. His presence is commanding yet inviting, capturing the essence of a leader who believes in the values he espouses. LARRY "DOUBLE L" LATTIMER: (With vigor and a twinkle of conviction) "Good day, fellow patriots! Larry 'Double L' Lattimer here, bringing you the heart and soul of America right to your driveway from Lattimer Motors. In these times, it's more important than ever to stand by our principles, the very fabric that makes us REAL Americans….and at Lattimer Motors, we treat REAL Americans like heroes." The camera follows Larry as he strides through the lot, his enthusiasm contagious. LARRY "DOUBLE L" LATTIMER: (With increasing intensity) "While other dealerships might treat you like just another number, putting up walls between you and your dreams...Ol’ Double L doesn’t put up walls— that's not the Lattimer way." He gestures broadly to the cars, each sporting the "Double L's Like New Guarantee" badge. LARRY "DOUBLE L" LATTIMER: (Booming with pride) "Here at Lattimer Motors, we tear down those walls! With Double L's Like New Guarantee, we ensure every vehicle isn't just like new; it is new to you. We're upfront, honest, and dedicated to providing opportunities for every hardworking American to achieve their dreams. No lemons, no surprises — that's a promise from me to you." Cut to a heartwarming scene: young DAN LATTIMER, holding a baby CHRIS in front of the dealership, bathed in the golden sunset. DAN: (With a genuine smile and playful confidence) "So come on down to Lattimer Motors, where dreams don't hit a wall — they hit the open road!" Dan offers a thumbs-up while baby Chris giggles. It’s sweet enough to turn a man into a diabetic. CUT TO: The Lattimer Motors logo fills the screen, bold and proud against the fluttering American flag, as a catchy, uplifting jingle plays. ANNOUNCER (V.O.): "Lattimer Motors. Making REAL American Dreams come true for REAL American heroes!" CUT BACK TO: The CRT TV's static briefly returns before the screen goes dark. FADE IN FROM BLACK: The warm, nostalgic tones of Larry Lattimer's commercial abruptly give way to the stark, shadowy reality of Lattimer Motors at night. The dealership sign flickers, a haunting echo of its former glory. EXT. LATTIMER MOTORS LOT - NIGHT The camera slowly pans across the lot under the cover of darkness. Each car sits silently, bathed in the glow of security lights, with stickers boasting "Fantastic Financing Opportunities" and the promise of "Lattimer Like New" quality. CUT TO: INT. SHOWROOM - CONTINUOUS The camera glides through the showroom's glass doors, passing sleek vehicles that seem out of place amidst the faintly chaotic aura that now pervades the space. It lingers on a wall adorned with framed photos: Larry shaking hands, ribbon cuttings, happier times. CUT TO: INT. GARAGE - CONTINUOUS Blue Oyster Cult's "Career of Evil" overtakes the soundtrack, setting the tone as we delve deeper into the bowels of Lattimer Motors. The garage doors roll up with a rumble, and another vehicle is ushered into the neon-lit chamber. The scene reveals a hive of activity unlike any legitimate service operation. Shadowy figures move between cars, tools in hand, stripping parts with practiced ease. The air is thick with the sound of power tools and muffled conversation. CUT TO: INT. GARAGE OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Buzzer is king here, perched in the garage office with a phone pressed to his ear, a self-satisfied grin plastered across his face. Papers and loose parts litter the desk in front of him, a chaotic testament to the operation's success. BUZZER: (into phone, boastful) "You wouldn't believe how smoothly it's running. We've got the parts shop funneling cash like a dream. It's all in-house, mate. I told you so, Torchy ol’ boy! I told you so!" His laughter echoes off the grimy walls, a sound devoid of joy. It trails off as he catches sight of Dan stepping into the dimly lit office, the phone call momentarily forgotten. The atmosphere tenses. BUZZER: (lowering the phone slightly, but not hanging up) "What do you want, Lattimer?" Dan stands at the threshold, unfazed by Buzzer's defensive posture. There's a new determination in his stance. DAN: (firmly, cutting to the chase) "I'm not here to argue, Buzzer. I've seen how things are running, and I... I think it's time we talked serious business." Buzzer scrutinizes Dan, trying to gauge his angle. After a moment, a sly smile creeps across his face. Opportunity is knocking. BUZZER: (putting the phone down, intrigued) "Serious business, huh?” Dan steps further into the office, the two men now locked in a conversation with consequences. As Dan begins to speak, the camera pulls away, the details of their conversation left to the imagination for now. CUT TO: The camera moves back through the chop shop, passing the busy workers and the disassembled cars, each piece a testament to the operation's success and moral cost. The sound of Dan and Buzzer's muffled conversation fades, replaced by the haunting notes of "Career of Evil," which now begins to fade out as well. FADE TO BLACK. EXT. LATTIMER MOTORS LOT - AFTERNOON CHRIS LATTIMER is seen walking through the dealership lot, his expression one of simmering frustration. Each step seems heavy, echoing the burden of a legacy under siege. A nondescript truck bypasses the main area, heading straight to the garage, igniting a flicker of irritation in Chris's eyes. CUT TO: INT. LATTIMER MOTORS SHOWROOM - CONTINUOUS The interior of Lattimer Motors offers a stark contrast to the quiet despair outside. CHRIS strides in, his frustration barely contained beneath the surface. Almost immediately, MIKE, the capable and concerned manager of the parts shop within Lattimer Motors, approaches with an air of urgency. MIKE: (with a mix of concern and caution) "Chris, got a sec? I don’t know if I’m missing something, but these past two day….I’ve suddenly got a surplus coming in—stuff for cars we don't even have on the lot. In two day." CHRIS halts, his initial irritation giving way to defensiveness. CHRIS: (responding hastily) "Mike, when did extra stock start being a problem? The parts shop has been the backbone of this place. It keeps the cash flowing." MIKE: "It’s not extra stock that’s the problem. It feels off. And it started when Dan started showing up. I mean, parts for luxury models we've never dealt with? Something’s up." The mention of Dan stirs a complex mix of emotions in CHRIS—protectiveness, denial, and a hint of suspicion. CHRIS: (trying to mask his concern with authority) "Look, Mike, Dan's trying to help, and if that brings in more parts, more power to us. Our customers don’t just come for cars. They come for service. For maintenance. For parts. We’re the one stop shop, Mike. That's our edge. Always has been." MIKE: (reluctantly agreeing but still worried) "Alright, Chris. Whatever you say." CHRIS softens slightly. CHRIS: (more thoughtfully, a hint of appreciation in his voice) "Look. I get it, Mike, and I appreciate it. Just keep doing what you're doing. We'll handle it." MIKE nods, somewhat reassured but still uneasy, as he turns to attend to his duties. CHRIS watches him go, then casts a long look towards the garage. CHRIS (murmuring to himself): "Look at us now, Dad…” The weight of CHRIS's solitude is shattered when LAURA's touch on his shoulder startles him into the present. He turns too quickly, a mix of stress and surprise coloring his reaction, only to find his wife and his son BILLY waiting. LAURA: (with a hint of worry quickly replaced by a warm smile) "Hey, love. We thought it's about time for a little break. How about we head to Baron’s Burgers. Grab some lunch. (looking down at Billy) Head to the park. BILLY’s eyes sparkle at the mention. BILLY: "Swing! Swing!" The mention of the swing brings a genuine smile to CHRIS’s face, the shadows of his burdens momentarily receding. CHRIS: (his spirits visibly lifted) "You know what, that sounds like the best plan I've heard all day." As they prepare to leave, LAURA glances back towards the lot, her voice casual but thoughtful. LAURA: "Dan’s truck is out back. Should we see if he wants to come? Billy would love that." The mention of Dan tightens CHRIS’s expression, his internal conflict flickering across his face before he masks it with a cheerfulness as genuine as store brand soda. CHRIS: (quickly, trying to maintain the light atmosphere) "Nah. Dan’s on a roll in there. Today is just for us, okay?" LAURA catches the brief shadow on CHRIS's face but decides against pursuing the matter, nodding in agreement. LAURA: "Alright, just the three of us then. Billy has been talking non-stop about the park.” CHRIS kneels to BILLY's level, and his joy becomes genuine. Exuberant. CHRIS: (playfully) “Ready to hit the swing set, buddy? I hear it’s got your name on it." The family exits the showroom. The scene closes with them stepping into the sunlight, CHRIS's demeanor lightened by the prospect of family and hamburgers and swing sets. CUT TO: As they walk away, the camera lingers on the Lattimer Motors sign, then pans down to Dan’s truck. It lingers as the scene fades and we take another stroll through the good ol’ days. INT. LATTIMER MOTORS OFFICE - DAY (FLASHBACK) The scene opens in a modestly furnished office, far simpler than the Lattimer Motors of the present day. LARRY "DOUBLE L" LATTIMER is seated across from his accountant, MARK PEBBLES, a man whose face is buried in ledgers and financial statements. The room is filled with the tangible tension between vision and caution. MARK PEBBLES: (with a note of concern) "Larry, I've crunched the numbers on this expansion you're planning. It's ambitious, yes, but it's a significant risk, especially this early on. The costs—" LARRY stands, his expression one of unwavering conviction, cutting off the accountant mid-sentence. LARRY "DOUBLE L" LATTIMER: (passionately) "I know what the numbers say. But what they don't show you is the value of trust, of building a brand, a customer base. A family, Mark. Christmas cars and birthday specials. Hell. We’ll do an annual 4th of July picnic.” LARRY pauses, tilts his head, an idea springing to life. He laughs, an infectious sound. LARRY “DOUBLE L” LATTIMER: “Twice annual. One for Memorial Day, too.” CUT TO: EXT. LATTIMER MOTORS LOT - CONTINUOUS LARRY strides out of the office, MARK hurrying to keep up. The camera follows them, showcasing the smaller, yet burgeoning lot of Lattimer Motors. Cars of various models are neatly lined up, each representing a part of LARRY's REAL American Dream. LARRY "DOUBLE L" LATTIMER: (gesturing to the lot) "See this? When we tell a customer, 'This baby needs a new muffler,' and then we fix it right here, finance it along with the car — that's not just service. That's building trust. And that trust? You can't put a price on that." The accountant, clipboard in hand, still seems unconvinced, his eyes scanning the financial reports. MARK PEBBLES: "But the initial hit to our finances—" LARRY "DOUBLE L" LATTIMER: (interrupting, with a broad, visionary smile) "Sure, we take a hit. But no risk, no reward, my friend. This isn't just about the here and now. It's about what we're building for the future." They pause by a car as LARRY interacts warmly with a customer, embodying the very principles he's just articulated. The trust and appreciation in the customer's eyes are evident. LARRY "DOUBLE L" LATTIMER: (to Mark, as they walk) "This, all of this, it's for something bigger than numbers on a page. It's about a legacy. One for my boys. And they’ll gonna be proud of what their old man built. Not just a business, but a part of the community." The camera pans over the lot, capturing LARRY's interaction with employees and customers alike, his larger than life presence impossible to resistance. DOUBLE L is the kind of man you trust on sight. CUT BACK TO: MARK, now watching LARRY with a mix of skepticism and newfound respect, nods slowly. The figures in his ledger haven't changed, but there’s no arguing with. After all, maybe DOUBLE L is right. MARK PEBBLES: (softly, more to himself) "A legacy, huh?" LARRY "DOUBLE L" LATTIMER: (clapping the accountant on the back, confidently) "Exactly. And legacies, well, they're worth every penny." The scene fades out on LARRY looking over his lot, a man whose belief in the value of trust and community shapes his every decision, setting a foundational example for the generations to follow. EXT. DIVE BAR - NIGHT The scene opens on a gritty, dimly lit dive bar on the outskirts of town. The kind of place with a lingering smell of stale beer and a constant undertone of rock music playing from a jukebox. This is Buzzer’s turf, and the patrons nod at him with a mix of respect and wariness as he enters with DAN in tow. INT. DIVE BAR - CONTINUOUS Buzzer leads Dan through the bar, introducing him to various regulars—rough-around-the-edges types who eye Dan with curiosity. Dan, though clearly out of his element compared to the polished environment his brother would choose, maintains his composure, shaking hands with a firm grip and a nod, making a solid first impression. CUT TO: A montage of pool games kicks off. First, Dan versus Buzzer, both men focused and competitive. Then, Dan and Buzzer teaming up against two other bar patrons, shots of pool balls cracking into each other, laughter, claps on the back, and beers raised in toasts. The camaraderie between Dan and Buzzer builds, and, soon, they’re like old friends. INT. DIVE BAR - LATER As the night winds down and the clatter of the pool game fades, the bar grows quieter, more intimate. Dan and Buzzer lean against the worn felt of the pool table, cues in hand, the mood shifting to a more strategic discussion. DAN: (starting casually as he lines up his shot) "I’m not criticizing, Buzzer. Not at all. I just can’t help thinking... you could be playing a bigger game." Buzzer smirks, curious, as he watches Dan sink a smooth shot. BUZZER: (intrigued) "I’m all ears, mate. What’s this bigger game then?" DAN: (chalking his cue) "Well, think about it. You’ve had guys in that garage every night working. Sweating. Stripping cars for muffles? It’s small fry. There's a bigger fish. Bigger opportunities.” Buzzer leans in, his interest clearly piqued by Dan's hint of greater possibilities. BUZZER: "And what might this 'bigger fish' be?" DAN: (taking a slow sip of his beer) "We’re sitting on a gold mine, literally, and we’re just scraping the surface." Buzzer straightens up, his focus sharpening as he registers the seriousness of Dan’s tone. DAN: (setting down his cue) "Catalytic converters. But not as parts. Forget that. It’s what’s inside that matters. The most valuable metals out there—platinum, palladium, rhodium. Just passing through our hands." Buzzer's demeanor shifts from casual interest to keen investment in the conversation. BUZZER: "Platinum, you say? But it’s gettin’ it, ain’t it? Not exactly small-time shop work." DAN: (smirking confidently) "Maybe not. But with the right setup, the right connections—your connections—we could move from small-time to big league. Why settle for peanuts when you can have the whole bag?" Buzzer chuckles, appreciating Dan's metaphor. BUZZER: (more seriously, considering the proposal) "If what you're saying pans out, we’re not just talking about boosting profits. We’re talking about transforming the entire operation." DAN: "That’s the point. Why run in place when there’s something that could really pay off. Not just for today or tomorrow, but long-term... building a legacy." Dan instantly recoils at the word. It tastes bitter on his lips. He winces. Buzzer, in his own thoughts, nods…contemplating the potential. Silently ironing out the specifics. BUZZER: (decisively) "My, my. You Lattimers certainly are the enterprising types, aren’t ya?" They clink their beer bottles together in a moment of newfound partnership, their plans for the future now seeded with ambition and the allure of high stakes. FADE OUT. EXT. CHRIS AND LAURA'S HOUSE - MORNING The scene opens with an unusual, slightly voyeuristic angle, viewed through the slightly tinted side window of a nondescript car parked across the street from Chris and Laura's house. The morning sun’s rays are a stark contrast to the ominous atmosphere inside the car. The camera focuses briefly on the hands and forearms of the figure inside the car. Fingerless gloves. Skulls and flames adorning what we can see of his forearms. This ain’t no nice guy. CUT TO: The front door of the house opens, and CHRIS steps out, followed by LAURA holding BILLY. The scene is still viewed from within the car, the sounds muffled and fragmented. With his family, the weight of his troubles is lifted. He smiles genuinely. CHRIS: (muffled through the car's glass) "—perfect day for it, huh?" LAURA: (muffled laughter) "—gone too long?!" CHRIS takes BILLY into his arms, planting a kiss on his son’s forehead and hugging LAURA, a picture fit for a catalog. They share a fleeting moment. CHRIS then heads to his car, a striking crimson model with silver trim, clearly a choice vehicle from Lattimer Motors' lot. For those who know, the colors hint at the future. As CHRIS drives away, we wait for the parked car to start its engine and follow. It doesn’t. Instead, it remains parked, the focus staying on LAURA and BILLY as they wave goodbye, then turn to head back inside. The camera angle shifts to a closer view of the observer in the car, revealing only his cold, calculating eyes watching LAURA and BILLY disappear into the house. FADE TO BLACK
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DoubtFire: Horror, Wrestling, Video Games, Attempts at Humor, and Toy Photography: https://doubtfireblog.wordpress.com/ ; www.instagram.com/DoubtFireToys Last edited by EvilMeanie; 04-17-2024 at 05:33 PM.. |
04-17-2024, 02:09 PM | #4 |
Iron Grenadier
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Southern Cal
Posts: 539
|
This is really good. For a name, how about
Cobra Commander: Descent to Darkness or Cobra Commander: Incipient Rage |
04-18-2024, 08:57 AM | #5 |
Iron Grenadier
Join Date: Aug 2020
Location: Alabama
Posts: 868
|
Quote:
I like both of those titles, honestly. I truly may wind up using one of them as, after several weeks, I'm still drawing a blank on what to call this thing.
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DoubtFire: Horror, Wrestling, Video Games, Attempts at Humor, and Toy Photography: https://doubtfireblog.wordpress.com/ ; www.instagram.com/DoubtFireToys |
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