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Cobra Commander Origin Story
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03-26-2024, 02:13 PM
EvilMeanie
Iron Grenadier
Join Date: Aug 2020
Location: Alabama
Posts: 868
I did a lot of tinkering with Episode 2 and, by extension, pretty much the entirety of the first big story arc. I was reading through what I had and it just seemed...idk. I wanted to try and spice it up a bit and try to avoid falling into the trap of overused cliches.
Sorry for not bodling an italicizing stuff, but it's tedious and I don't wanna.
Thanks for reading. Any and all feedback is appreciated. Seriously. Rip me apart if necessary!!
=-=-=-=-=-
EPISODE 2
=-=-=-=-=-
EXT. AFGHANISTAN DESERT – DAY (FLASHBACK)
The camera hovers low over the arid, sun-baked landscape of the Afghan desert. A COBRA, sleek and deadly, slithers silently across the sand. Its scales shimmer under the relentless sun as it tracks a lizard with deadly intent. The lizard, oblivious to the danger, scampers across the rocks.
Suddenly, the cobra strikes—fast, precise. The lizard has no chance. The cobra's victim is caught in a lethal embrace, destined to be consumed. But the moment of triumph is short-lived. A low rumbling grows louder, echoing across the desert.
The cobra, sensing the disturbance, flicks its tongue, tasting the air. It hastily retreats, barely escaping the path of a speeding military truck. Relief is fleeting—the following vehicle mercilessly crushes the snake under its heavy wheels.
CUT TO:
The camera follows the second truck from above. As we zoom in, the metal beast becomes transparent, revealing its occupants.
Inside, DAN LATTIMER, younger and untouched by the weight of future guilt, is laughing, his body language exuding confidence. Seated beside him is his best friend, BIG ZEKE…a man who truly earned the “Big” nickname…equally jovial but with an underlying steadiness that grounds Dan's exuberance.
DAN: (grinning) Once we're out of this hellhole, Zeke, you're coming to work for me. It’s my dad’s place, man. You and me in the shop? We’ll have it made.
BIG ZEKE: (chuckling) From the desert to the dealership, huh? You sure your old man's ready for a nutcase like me?
DAN: (slapping Zeke on the back) Like he’s got a choice! Family benefits, man.
Zeke gives Dan a look, one that says he knows the score. It's clear in that glance that while Dan believes he's the one looking out for Zeke, it’s a 50/50 arrangement.
BIG ZEKE: (smirking) Just remember, it’s me who’s got your back out here. Who's gonna keep you alive out here? Hell, I ain’t even got a choice if I want that job.
Dan laughs…sure of himself. Comfortable in his surroundings. Too comfortable, but you’re not gonna tell him that.
As they ride on, their laughter echoes, a fleeting moment of connection in the vast, indifferent desert.
CUT TO:
INT. LATTIMER HOUSE - LAURA'S BEDROOM – MORNING (PRESENT DAY)
The room is bathed in the soft, early morning light. LAURA wakes, surprised by the silence that envelops the house. It's an unusual feeling, the first time in months she's woken up past dawn. The clock reads 8:30 AM.
Laura lets out an audible gasp. Something’s wrong. No way the house is this quiet. Not with Billy. For a moment, she’s overwhelmed with desperation. She runs towards Billy’s room only to find him sleeping peacefully in his crib, a rare moment of quiet. Relieved, she calls out as she makes her way downstairs.
LAURA: (calling out) Chris? Are you here?
The house responds with silence. The absence feels heavy. In the kitchen, she discovers a box of fancy pastries on the counter, complete with a small note.
CLOSE-UP: THE NOTE
“Thought you and Billy might enjoy these. Have a great day. -C”
Before LAURA can process the gesture, the sound of a car engine starting jolts her. She rushes to the window, just in time to see CHRIS pulling out of the driveway.
She stands there, holding the note, a complex mix of emotions crossing her face. We end the scene focused on the box of tasty treats that offer zero comfort.
CUT TO:
EXT. LATTIMER MOTORS – DAY (PRESENT DAY)
The upbeat opening riff of "Let the Good Times Roll" by The Cars sets the tone as we dive into a vibrant montage of CHRIS LATTIMER in his element at LATTIMER MOTORS.
Chris, with a magnetic smile, greets a hesitant couple stepping onto the lot. He confidently guides them towards a sleek sedan.
CHRIS: (charmingly) Aha! I’ve got my eye on this one, myself! This isn't just a car; it's the start of your next big adventure.
Cut to the couple laughing, clearly won over, as they shake hands with Chris.
A nervous first-time buyer inspects a compact car. Chris claps a reassuring hand on their shoulder.
CHRIS: (reassuring) Believe me, it's as reliable as it gets. Perfect for a new driver. I’ve got my eye on this one, myself!
The next shot shows the young buyer beaming, holding the keys.
Chris is seen with a family, the parents unsure about a minivan. He opens the door, revealing the spacious interior.
CHRIS: (enthusiastically) Space for the kids, the dog, and peace of mind. I’ve got my eye on this one, myself.
The montage shows the family's doubt turning into excitement as they nod in agreement.
A montage within the montage: rapid-fire scenes of Chris shaking hands, handing over keys, and slapping congratulatory backs. Each customer leaves with a smile, convinced they've made the right choice.
The music reaches a crescendo as the kid from Episode 1's opening scene arrives – accompanied by his parents, their faces tight with apprehension. The parents are clearly prepared for a fight.
Chris meets them with open arms and a disarming smile. Through quick, efficient negotiation and that unflappable charm, their demeanor softens.
The final shot of the montage is the family driving away in the 2005 Ford Taurus….the very same one from the first episode, looking surprisingly satisfied. Chris stands in the lot, waving them off, the very picture of success.
The song fades with Chris alone on the lot, his smile lingering as he looks around his empire of asphalt and steel. For a moment, he's not just a car salesman; he's a king in his domain.
CUT TO BLACK.
EXT. BASE CAMP IN AFGHANISTAN DESERT – NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
The camera pans over a temporary military base camp under the vast, starlit sky. The tension of the day has given way to a brief respite as soldiers gather around a small fire, their rifles never far from reach. The air is filled with laughter and banter, a momentary escape from the realities of their situation.
In the heart of the group sits DAN LATTIMER, holding court like a king among his knights. His charisma is undeniable, drawing everyone into his orbit. Soldiers laugh a little harder at his jokes, listen a bit more intently to his stories.
SOLDIER #1: (laughing) Dan, you serious? I bet you’re out here because your old man doesn’t want you anywhere near that car lot!
DAN: (grinning) Yeah maybe. But wait and see. When we get back, we’re all getting the family discount. So don’t do something stupid like dying out here.
The group erupts in cheers and laughter, basking in the warmth of camaraderie and the glow of the fire. Off to the side, BIG ZEKE watches, a slight smile on his face but clearly on the outskirts of the circle.
Noticing this, Dan gestures Zeke over with a broad, welcoming arm.
DAN: (calling out) Hey, Zeke! Get over here, man. What’s with this loner bit?
Zeke hesitates for a moment before joining the group, welcomed by a space that Dan clears beside him. The soldiers make room, some offering nods of greeting. Dan launches into another tale, this time making sure Zeke is an integral part of the narrative.
DAN: (to the group, wrapping an arm around Zeke's shoulders) You guys just don’t understand Big Zeke. He’s the only here who gets it. If we could clone this man for this desert gig, this whole mess would be over and we’d have been home last month.
Laughter fills the air again, but this time, Zeke is laughing along with everyone else. For a moment, he's not just the tagalong; he's part of the team, thanks to Dan.
CUT TO:
A quieter moment as the laughter dies down. Dan and Zeke share a look, an unspoken understanding passing between them.
DAN: (softly, to Zeke) Back home, buddy. All we’ve gotta do is make it back home.
Zeke nods, the firelight reflecting in his eyes, filled with trust and an unwavering belief in Dan's words.
CUT TO BLACK.
EXT. LATTIMER HOUSE - LATE AFTERNOON (PRESENT DAY)
CHRIS pulls up to his house in a cherry red 1968 Ford Mustang, the kind of classic car that turns heads and perfectly exemplifies the quality found at Lattimer Motors. His mood is visibly upbeat, a stark contrast to the tension that usually surrounds him. He exits the car with a lightness to his step, almost humming to himself, clearly riding the high of a successful day.
CUT TO:
INT. LATTIMER HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Chris enters, expecting the warmth of home to match his mood. He calls out, expecting an answer, but the silence that greets him sours his spirits.
CHRIS: (calling out) Laura? Billy?
No response. His brows furrow as he moves through the house, the absence of his family gnawing at him.
CHRIS: (muttering to himself) Could've called... Not a big ask, is it?
He tosses his keys on the counter, his movements growing more agitated as he searches for some sign of a note.
CHRIS: (increasingly frustrated) A note. One simple note.
His search turns frantic, opening drawers, flipping through papers on the fridge, his good day darkening with each passing moment.
CHRIS: (under his breath, anger rising) Where are they?!
The tension builds, Chris's temper flaring up, showcasing a glimpse of the control he demands over his environment and the people in it. He grips a glass a little too tightly, his frustration nearing its peak.
SOUND: The beep of the answering machine cuts through the tension.
Laura's voice fills the room, light and apologetic.
LAURA'S VOICE (from the machine): Hey, honey! Megan took me and Billy out for a quick lunch. Didn't think to leave a note since we won’t be long. See you soon! Love you!
The rage in Chris dissipates as suddenly as it appeared, replaced by a moment of clarity. He looks down, noticing for the first time the glass shattered in his hand, blood starting to seep from a cut. The realization of his overreaction and the physical manifestation of his anger shocks him back to reality.
He carefully removes the remnants of the glass, his expression one of self-reproach.
CUT TO BLACK.
EXT. TEMPORARY BASE IN AFGHAN DESERT – DAWN (FLASHBACK)
The day breaks over the temporary base, casting a soft, golden light that belies the danger of the surroundings. Soldiers are a flurry of activity, their movements a well-rehearsed dance of deconstruction and preparation. The camera pans across the scene, capturing the essence of military life: the giving of orders, the swift dismantling of tents, and the meticulous stowing of gear. The comfort of routine.
CUT TO:
The focus narrows to DAN and ZEKE, who work side by side with an easy camaraderie, assisting in packing up the last of the equipment. They share a joke, a brief moment of levity in the stark desert morning.
DAN: (laughing) Just think of it as extreme camping, Zeke.
ZEKE: (smirking) With a slightly higher chance of getting shot at.
The camera follows them as they make their way to one of the military trucks. It's loaded with supplies and waiting soldiers. DAN and ZEKE climb aboard, finding their seats among the others. The truck's engine rumbles to life, a deep, growling promise of the journey ahead.
CUT TO:
Inside the truck, TRENT and MERKEL sit opposite DAN and ZEKE. Two kids without the advantage of experience. Their anxiety is palpable, their eyes scanning the horizon even as the convoy begins to move. The desert stretches out, an endless sea of sand and dust.
TRENT: (nervously) You guys ever get used to this? The waiting, I mean. Feels like something's always about to go down.
MERKEL: Yeah. I mean. I really don’t like this. I feel like that guy in the shark cage in Jaws.
DAN, ever the optimist, claps TRENT on the shoulder, his grin infectious despite the undercurrent of tension.
DAN: Relax. Days out here are uneventful. Just think of it as one long schoolbus ride.
ZEKE chuckles but keeps his gaze steady.
ZEKE: ….This fool’s over here talking about school. Listen boys, follow protocols, and watch each other's backs. Nothing to it.
The camaraderie and shared jokes do little to quell the underlying sense of foreboding as the convoy snakes its way through the desert landscape. DAN continues to play the role of the morale booster, his words aiming to calm the nerves of his younger comrades.
DAN: Honestly, military life's more about the boredom than anything else. You'll see, it's not like—
SUDDEN CUT TO WHITE WITH THE SOUND OF AN EXPLOSION.
CUT BACK TO:
The intense white screen fades into the brutal chaos of the ambush. Bullets whizz past as the scene zeroes in on DAN, his face a mask of determination and fear. MERKEL is stranded in no-man's land, his situation dire.
DAN: (yelling) I'm going for him!
Before he can move, ZEKE grabs his shoulder, halting him.
ZEKE: You ain’t going for shit with that leg!
DAN glances down, noticing his wound for the first time—blood seeping through his uniform. The realization hits him; he's incapacitated.
DAN: (desperate) I’m not leaving him!
ZEKE: (determined) Cover me! You can buy me lunch at the shop!
Zeke makes a break for Merkel, moving with a calculated quickness.
DAN provides cover fire, his heart in his throat.
It goes wrong. Of course. ZEKE is hit, going down hard. DAN screams Zeke's name, his voice lost amidst the gunfire.
DAN: (screaming) Zeke!
Their eyes meet one last time—a silent goodbye—before ZEKE's gaze dims.
CUT TO:
A series of scenes unfolds, each punctuated by voiceovers and snippets of dialogue:
DAN lies in a hospital bed, his expression empty. A CO commends him, speaking of heroism and duty. DAN's gaze is distant, his mind replaying Zeke's fall.
CO's VOICEOVER: (praising) "Your bravery is commendable. You're going home a hero."
We see a disheveled DAN in an airport. He’s greeted by CHRIS and LAURA, their smiles wide. DAN's response is mechanical, his eyes haunted.
CHRIS, enthusiastic, brings DAN into the fold at Lattimer Motors. CHRIS's attempts to engage DAN fall on deaf ears.
CHRIS: (trying to uplift) "Dad’s gone. I need you. This is our place now."
A rapid montage of DAN leaving work, drowning his sorrows in bars, and stumbling home. His days blur into nights, each scene a step further into darkness.
Voiceover of DAN discussing his pain, stress, and nightmares, intercut with visits to different doctors, collecting prescriptions.
DAN's VOICEOVER: "There are no heroes, just survivors. And I'm not even sure I'm that anymore."
DAN's losses mount, at card tables, pool halls, and in dimly lit rooms where he seeks oblivion in pills and powder.
CUT TO:
INT. – DAN’S APARTMENT
DAN is jolted awake by frantic, forceful pounding on his door. Disoriented, he stumbles around, throwing on a shirt. He opens the door and finds himself eye to eye with BUZZER, a predatory grin on his face.
BUZZER: (smiling) Dan Lattimer? We need to talk.
CUT TO BLACK
FADE IN:
EXT. LATTIMER MOTORS - EVENING (PRESENT DAY)
The lot at Lattimer Motors is quiet, the sun setting in the background casting long shadows between the rows of cars. The day's hustle has simmered down to a stillness, a stark contrast to the episode's opening vibrancy.
CHRIS is closing up shop, locking doors, and turning off lights, his mind clearly preoccupied. As he steps outside, he pauses, noticing a figure approaching the lot.
CUT TO:
DAN walks toward Chris looking like a man carrying the weight of the world.
The two brothers stand face to face in silence. Before Chris can speak, a car pulls up behind him.
BUZZER steps out, his arrival unannounced but clearly expected by Dan, who hangs his head like a scolded dog.
CHRIS: (surprised) Dan? What's going on? Who's this?
DAN: (resigned) Chris... there’s some stuff you need to know.
Buzzer smiles, not warmly, but with a calculated friendliness that doesn't quite reach his eyes.
BUZZER: (extending a hand, which Chris doesn't take) Pleasure to finally meet you, Chris. I've heard a lot. And I believe we have some business to discuss regarding the future of Lattimer Motors.
Chris looks from Buzzer to Dan, realization dawning.
CHRIS: (tensely) I see…..
The tension is palpable as the three men stand in the fading light. Chris's look of betrayal towards Dan speaks volumes, marking a turning point in their relationship.
BUZZER: (cheerfully) Oh, why so glum? We’re business partners, boys. And we’re going to be making a lot of money together.
The camera pulls back slowly, leaving the three figures in a standoff as the episode cuts to black.
CUT TO BLACK.
__________________
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Last edited by EvilMeanie; 03-26-2024 at
02:24 PM
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