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:
Cobra Commander Origin Story
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02-27-2024, 11:21 AM
EvilMeanie
Iron Grenadier
Join Date: Aug 2020
Location: Alabama
Posts: 868
I've had this story on the backburner for many years now, and I'm finally going beyond outlines and notes and even a recording I did of me covering the first season while driving to a work conference and making a solid effort at pulling this off. Of course, I'm kicking myself in the ass for doing this
after
Skybound is already rolling with a pretty great (imo) CC origin story, but them's the breaks.
I wanted to do a take on Cobra Commander's pre-Commander days in sort of a Breaking Bad fashion...where we meet this normal, everyday guy who struggles enough as it is but winds up being overwhelmed by circumstances beyond his control that ultimately send him on a dark path towards villainy and ruthlessness and just all around nastiness.
I always envisioned this as a series, and I'm finally putting the finishing touches on the first eight episode "season."
I initially intended to call this "Once a Man," but I sort of feel like such a title probably isn't the best idea in 2024, so I'm...sort of at a loss. I've tried a few things, and it all comes off as corny to me. I just named the word files Cobra Commander: Year One. Happy to take any recommendations.
Anyway, looooong story short, I wanted to share the first episode and see what you guys think. I have a strong aversion to forcing my creative works on people, so I'm absolutely cool if this isn't something I should continue.
I wouldn't exactly call this a final draft, but I have revised it a few times more than the other episodes. Here ya go (and if anyone knows how to share this in file format, I'm happy to take directions)
?Cobra Commander: Year One? (Legacy of Venom? Venom and Valor (lol)? Once a Man? Work on this)
EXT. LATTIMER MOTORS - NIGHT
Close-up on flames reflecting off a glass surface....a slightly familiar, almost opaque surface. The fire dances, its light flickering and casting an ominous glow. The camera slowly zooms out to reveal the flames are reflected in the eyeglasses of CHRIS LATTIMER (mid-30s), disheveled, wearing a bathrobe, standing amidst the chaos of the night, his face a mask of shock, despair, and a hint of something darker.
The once bustling Lattimer Motors is engulfed in flames, a symbol of dreams turned to ash. Chris watches, the weight of his world collapsing evident in his eyes.
CUT TO BLACK
TITLE CARD: THREE WEEKS EARLIER
EXT. LATTIMER MOTORS - DAY
The camera follows CHRIS LATTIMER as he navigates through the car lot, a veneer of charm masking his desperation. Beside him, a NERDY TEENAGER, wide-eyed and clearly out of his depth.
CHRIS (to the Teenager) You see, this model right here is just about the best you can get for your needs. Reliable, stylish, and it?s got that edge you?re looking for. ?Taurus.? Let it roll off your tongue. It?s a powerful word, Ryan. For a powerful car.
Chris leads the teen around the car, his demeanor increasingly predatory as he senses the desperation in the young buyer.
CHRIS Look, a Taurus isn't just a vehicle; it's a statement. And a 2005? Kid, if you want to impress the ladies this is how you do it.
The Teenager nods, visibly excited...naive as hell.
RYAN Yeah, exactly! I mean, I don't know much about cars, but this seems great!
CHRIS (seizing the opportunity, voice slick) It's more than great; it's a steal. For you, I'll even throw in a deal on the insurance. Trust me, you won't find anything like this elsewhere.
As they approach the office, Chris's internal conflict becomes apparent. He pauses, looking at the Teenager with a mix of pity and disdain.
CHRIS (suddenly harsh) You know what? This is ridiculous. You're a kid. You have no idea what you're getting into.
RYAN (confused and defensive) What? But you said?
CHRIS (interrupting, voice rising) I said get out of here, you dolt! You're being played, and you're too stupid to see it. Didn?t your have parents to teach you anything about money, or are they as foolish as you?
Ryan, now indignant and humiliated, storms off. Chris watches, a momentary flicker of remorse in his eyes before he hardens again and storms into his office to end the scene.
EXT. LATTIMER MOTORS - NIGHT
The lot is deserted, save for the sound of DAN LATTIMER's car screeching to a halt. He exits the vehicle, clearly intoxicated, fumbling with his phone.
DAN (slurring into the phone) Listen, I just need a bit more time. You know I'm good for it.
Silence from the other end. Dan's frustration mounts.
DAN (angrily) I said I need more time! What part of that don't you understand?
A pause as he listens, then his anger explodes.
DAN (screaming) You'll get your damn money when I say you'll get it!
He throws the phone against his car, watching it shatter. The pieces of the phone mirror the pieces of his life?broken beyond repair.
Stumbling into his makeshift office, he collapses into a chair, the weight of his decisions crashing down on him. He notices the old family photo, picking it up with trembling hands.
DAN (voice cracking, to the photo) Look at us... Dad. Chris, I?
[I]His voice trails off as the reality of his situation sinks in. He stands, a moment of clarity in his drunken stupor, and makes his way to Chris's office, breaking in.
Inside, he rifles through Chris's files, desperation clear in his actions. He finds what he's looking for, a momentary glimpse of hope flashing across his face.[I]
DAN (mutters to himself) This might just work. Goddammit.
INT. LATTIMER HOUSE - NIGHT
The screen is entirely black, accompanied only by the sound of a baby crying. Suddenly, a lamp flicks on, illuminating the bedroom of the Lattimer house. CHRIS LATTIMER is lying in bed beside his wife, LAURA LATTIMER. He groggily stirs as the cries continue.
CHRIS (half-asleep) I'll get him, Laura. Go back to sleep.
Laura hesitates, looking torn between wanting to tend to their baby and letting Chris take care of it. Eventually, she relents and sinks back into the pillows.
LAURA Okay... But if you need anything...
[I]Chris nods, his eyes already closed again. He gets out of bed and heads to the nursery, where their year-old son, BILLY, is crying. As Chris enters the room, Billy's cries gradually subside, replaced by coos of happiness.[/I[
CHRIS (softly) Hey there, champ. What's got you so worked up, huh?
Chris picks up Billy and begins to soothe him, rocking him gently back and forth. Laura enters the room, watching them from the doorway with a mixture of fondness and concern.
LAURA (softly) Is he okay?
CHRIS (reassuringly) Yeah, he's just a little fussy tonight. Nothing to worry about.
As Chris continues to comfort Billy, Laura steps closer, her expression thoughtful.
LAURA Chris, I was thinking... With Billy getting older, we're going to need to start thinking about his future. And, you know...
Chris's demeanor shifts slightly, his smile becoming strained as he tries to maintain his facade.
CHRIS (assuringly) Don't worry, Laura. We'll figure it out. We always do.
LAURA (skeptically) I don't know, Chris. Business hasn't been great in a long time, and this year, we're really running in the red. I don't see what we have to figure out?
Chris's expression tightens at Laura's mention of Lattimer Motors, but he quickly tries to brush it off.
CHRIS (dismissively) It's just a rough patch, Laura. We've been through worse. Besides, with my sales skills and your budgeting, we'll turn things around in no time.
Despite her doubts, Laura seems to relax slightly, reassured by Chris's calm demeanor.
LAURA (reluctantly) I hope you're right, Chris.
As Chris continues to speak, the camera zooms in on Billy, who is gazing up at his father with adoration, unaware of the tension in the room.
EXT - LATTIMER MOTORS
The scene opens with CHRIS LATTIMER arriving at Lattimer Motors in the morning. His expression is grim as he approaches his office, noticing the disheveled state of the car lot.
As Chris enters his office, he freezes in shock at the sight of DAN LATTIMER passed out on the floor, empty bottles scattered around him. The filing cabinet is still open from the night before, and Chris's fury boils over.
CHRIS (furious) Dan! What the hell are you doing here?
Dan stirs groggily, attempting to compose himself as he struggles to sit up.
DAN (sheepishly) Chris... I... I must've... I'm sorry, I...
Chris cuts him off, his anger barely contained.
CHRIS (accusatory) You're sorry? You come in here in a drunkenj stupor and pass out on my office floor?
Dan tries to deflect, but Chris notices the open drawer on the filing cabinet, his suspicion growing.
CHRIS (pointing) And what's this? What were you looking for?
Dan's demeanor shifts, his tone becoming defensive.
DAN (dismissively) Oh, come on, Chris. I was wasted. How am I supposed to know? Besides, it doesn't matter.
Chris's frustration mounts as he begins to berate his brother, his voice rising with each accusation.
CHRIS (angrily) It does matter, Dan! Business is in the toilet, and all you do is make it worse. You're a liability. You're not just hurting the business, you're hurt my wife! My son!
Dan's facade crumbles, his pent-up resentment bubbling to the surface.
DAN: (enraged) Oh, spare me, Chris! You think you're so perfect, don't you? You've got the wife, the kid. It all worked out just fine for little brother, didn?t it? Well what about me?
Chris bristles at Dan's words, his own anger rising to match his brother's.
CHRIS (defiantly) What about you? Where were you when I needed you? When Dad died, when I had to pick up the pieces of this business? Who buried him, Dan? Who drug your ass out of the bar and to the funeral?
Dan's anger consumes him, and he lunges forward, grabbing Chris by the collar and throwing him across the office. Chris lands with a thud, stunned by the sudden violence.
DAN (seething) You're nothing but a snake, Chris. A pathetic. Spineless. Snake.
Without another word, Dan storms out of the office, the sound of his car engine roaring to life echoing through the lot as he speeds away.
INT. LATTIMER HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
CHRIS storms into the house, his fury palpable. The door slams shut behind him with a thud that echoes through the quiet home. LAURA, seated on the couch, looks up, her expression one of concern that quickly morphs into alarm at the sight of him.
LAURA (concerned) Chris, what?s wrong? You?re shaking.
CHRIS (barely containing his rage) Dan. Always Dan. Well no more.
He paces back and forth, each word laced with a venom that seems foreign to the man Laura knew.
CHRIS (voice rising) He?s a black hole, Laura. Sucking us all in. I?m done denying it.
Laura stands, approaching him with a calming hand outstretched, trying to pierce his tempest of anger.
LAURA (gently) Chris, please. This isn?t you. You need to calm down, Billy's asle?
CHRIS (turning on her, his anger sharpening into something cold and decisive) Billy? Who do you think I?m thinking about? Are you blind to the fact that he?s dragging us all down, Billy with him? Do you underestimate me so much? Are you really so foolish?
Laura recoils as if physically struck, the severity of Chris?s words cutting deep.
LAURA (shocked, whispering) Chris...
CHRIS (firmly, with a dark finality) He?s not my brother. Not anymore. If he wants to burn his life to the ground, let him. He?s dead to me. From now on, he?s nothing but a stranger. Worse than a stranger. He?s an enemy, and I?ll burn him to the ground before I let him destroy all that I?ve built.
The silence that follows is heavy, filled with the echo of Chris?s declaration. Laura stares at him, seeing the man she loves morph into someone unrecognizable, someone capable of a hardness she never imagined.
LAURA (voice trembling, tears brimming) Chris?..
CHRIS (interrupting, a fierce determination in his gaze) No, Laura. Some lines, once crossed, there?s no coming back from. He crossed them long ago. I?m just accepting it now.
Suddenly, BILLY?s cries cut through the tension, a stark reminder of the innocence still present in their lives. Laura, shaken, glances from Chris to the direction of Billy?s room, torn.
LAURA (hesitantly, then with resolve) I?ll... I?ll go check on Billy.
She leaves the room, her departure leaving Chris alone with his tumultuous thoughts. His anger slowly dissipates, leaving behind a haunting realization of the chasm his words have opened not just between him and Dan, but within his own family.
The scene closes on Chris, a solitary figure amidst the shadows of the living room, the gravity of his transformation dawning on him as the echoes of his own declarations linger in the air.
EXT. SEEDY PARKING LOT - NIGHT
The scene opens with DAN LATTIMER pacing back and forth under the dim glow of a flickering street lamp, phone pressed to his ear. His desperation is palpable, even in the way he clutches the phone.
DAN (into the phone, trying to sound confident) Listen, I've got a plan. Just need a little more time, that's all.
Cut to:
INT. BUZZER'S PLACE - SAME TIME
The camera pans to reveal Dick Blinken, better known as BUZZER, on the other end of the line. He's a menacing figure, his blonde ponytail and trademark glasses making him instantly recognizable. Buzzer lounges in a dimly lit room adorned with biker paraphernalia, casually flipping an intimidating knife in one hand.
BUZZER (sneering, his voice laced with menace) Time's a luxury you don't have anymore, Danny boy. You think this is a game? You've got until sunrise. After that, well... let's just say I'm not known for my patience.
He pauses, letting the threat hang in the air, the sound of the knife clicking against his rings echoing ominously.
BUZZER (continuing, almost playful in his threat) And remember, Dan, I'd hate to have to come down there and remind you personally. You wouldn't want that, trust me. I've got a certain... flair for making my point.
The camera zooms in on Buzzer's face, his expression one of amusement mixed with a dangerous edge. He ends the call, tossing the phone aside with a chuckle.
Cut back to:
EXT. SEEDY PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Dan ends the call, his face pale under the streetlight. He looks around the empty parking lot, a sense of dread settling in. The reality of his situation is clearer than ever.
The camera pulls back, leaving Dan isolated and vulnerable as the weight of Buzzer's threat looms over him. The flickering light above him buzzes and goes out, plunging him into darkness as the screen fades to black.
CUT TO BLACK
NOTE: If you guys do want to see more, please forgive me, but I'm never going to take all the time I just did implementing the bold and italic text.
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Last edited by EvilMeanie; 04-17-2024 at
05:32 PM
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