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Rewrite ROC
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01-18-2022, 11:59 AM
EvilMeanie
Iron Grenadier
Join Date: Aug 2020
Location: Alabama
Posts: 868
I think ROC had merits that were totally overshadowed by its missteps. But for all those missteps, I think it did a few things right.
-It reminded me of a Sunbow five parter. It even follows the old formula. Cobra's got a super weapon, and the Joes go on a globe spanning adventure to destroy it and save the world. You've got battles in the desert, in Paris, underwater, and the big storming of the bad guys' elaborate, totally over the top, remote headquarters. Duke even gets captured.
-It's just as over the top as the cartoons, in a lot of ways. There's a scene where the villains are talking to each other, and everyone in the damn room is a hologram. That never ceases to give me a chuckle. Your bad guys are ready to make speeches detailing their grievances and schemes at the drop of the hat.
-It tries to be G.I. Joe. Is the execution flawed? Absolutely. But there's more regard for trying to create a modern version of the source material than there was in the last live action effort.
Hope this isn't disallowed, but I actually wrote a piece about the merits of this movie that echoes some of the points I've made here. I'm probably more forgiving than I should be, but I was trying to focus on the good rather than the bad.
Of course, it does a lot wrong. First and foremost, they should have done a better job making the characters look like the characters. Give the Doctor a more traditional CC look, and you're golden. I'd have accepted the battle armor over what we got. And when the big "call me COMMANDER" reveal happens, it's like "what the hell are you wearing CC and why?"
Stupid nanomites are the explanation fore EVERYTHING. How'd CC become CC? Nanonmites. How did Zartan get his wacky abilities? Nanomites. Why is the Baroness evil? By golly it's the nanomites! Ever wonder why Destro's mask seems to function like a real face? Well, have you heard of these things called nanonmites?!
I kinda already said it, but the characters needed to look like the characters they're supposed to be. If you've got to modernize them, fine. If you want to change their ethnicities, I got no beef. But Breaker needs to somehow look just a tad like the Breaker I remember or else he's just a dude they're calling Breaker that I've got no real investment in one way or the other. Duke needs to be Channing Tatum and not have blond hair? At least put him in some sort of uniform that evokes the character.
I could probably go on. There's more wrong with the movie than there is right, but..I don't know. Somehow, some way I think the intentions were in the right place. Even Snake Eyes' mouth and the accelerator suits were trying to reference actual G.I. Joe things. Even Duke needlessly being at the center of the Baroness and CC origins harkens back to Hama Snake Eyes.
But there's nothing, nothing, nothing in the world that excuses letting Sienna Miller run around in that godawful wig. Live action CC was bad enough, but live action Baroness was just unforgivable.
I hope its not against the rules or anything, but I actually wrote a piece last year for my website/blog (
https://doubtfireblog.wordpress.com/...rise-of-cobra/
) that echoed a lot of the points I made here. I'm probably more forgiving than pretty much everyone, but I was trying to focus on the positives over the negatives.
Last edited by EvilMeanie; 01-18-2022 at
12:08 PM
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