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Help on dealing with a sensitive subject
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01-09-2010, 10:11 AM
minstrelboy
endlesssummerofthedamned
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Midway, PA
Posts: 3,773
The hardest part (and most often neglected) of dealing with PTSD is understanding that as a member of the military, you're constantly drilled on what to do in combat situations, and then after surviving that experience you're suddenly removed from it, and expected to go right back into a regular, normal life. And the brain just cannot cope with it. I was in the service for over six years and spent a year in Iraq, and there's a large part of me that craves that life and wants it back, because living a regular 9 to 5 job and buying groceries and driving to work and all that other stuff people do every day just seems so pointless. It's extremely hard to adjust to it, and there's no way to reintroduce a soldier back into a non-combat environment that will happen without any negative residual effects. And for those that have never experienced this (typically a spouse), it's impossible to understand. So you have two people trying to coexist with life experiences that come from two different extremes, and obviously there will be misunderstandings, which frequently leads to arguments.
And sadly, there is no real definitve way to deal with the problem of PTSD without understanding the way the individual has been affected by their experiences first, and understanding how to communicate to that person through the PTSD. I know it can only exacerbate the situation, but he really should go talk to a specialist about it. And if one doesn't help, then try another. His experiences are a part of him now, and you'll never be able to go back, unfortunately.
Maybe a change of lifestyle could help. Obviously, I don't know anything about your personal situation aside from what you wrote above, but if it would help him by picking up a new hobby, changing his career to something more exciting, or even camping or hunting, anything to keep his mind preoccupied. I've been devoting the majority of my free time writing fiction. A lot of veterans write about their experiences in combat, and once it's out, they frequently feel better. I hope you that things start turning around for the both of you. Good luck.
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