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10-13-2012, 05:58 PM | #4941 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Hope, ME
Posts: 4,735
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Dude, I want Hobbit slippers! Do they come in size 14?
Oh, and Happy Birthday.
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10-13-2012, 06:00 PM | #4942 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New Castle, Delaware
Posts: 4,498
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Quote:
And thanks.
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danielmford.com |
10-13-2012, 11:31 PM | #4943 |
Bovine Excrement Viper
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Location? Location!
Posts: 5,886
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Happeh birfdey O Hairy Footed One!
So while I was out today hunting for the new MPOP I saw an assortment of Generations-packaged TFs all with "China" on the tags. I was all so I borrowed my girlfriend's phone and looked them up. That's when I remembered Fast Draw(?) having posted about them a while back. Apparently they're a TRU exclusive in the US, advertised as "imported from China." Can I get a Yo Dawg? Anyway, they had a bunch of legions and scouts, but only one deluxe (Cliffjumper). Looks SOOOO much better without the goofy Prime head. I debated, but in the end the $15 price tag turned me off. In the checkout line were two asian dudes with probably a grand worth of Barbies in their carts, including about 10-12 of the same figure and multiples of multiple play sets. (And about 4 copies of Sorry.) After they opened another lane to deal with the overflow caused by them taking 10+ minutes to check out, the couple in front of me is trying to spy on the Barbie total. The chick says, "They bought the whole aisle! I sure hope it's going to charity." I just gave her and her boyfriend a shrug and said it'll all be up on eBay for twice what they just paid. |
10-14-2012, 12:54 AM | #4944 |
Bovine Excrement Viper
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Location? Location!
Posts: 5,886
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So, from the archives...
http://www.hisstank.com/forum/g-i-jo...eavy-duty.html http://www.hisstank.com/forum/g-i-jo...commander.html Realizing how long ago I did these made me feel old. |
10-14-2012, 10:35 AM | #4945 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New Castle, Delaware
Posts: 4,498
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Hey, those aren't bad at all man. I mean, as new sculpt figures they're a fucking travesty, but looking back I feel like all those figures sucked. However, that isn't your fault, and your paint jobs on 'em are nice and clean.
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danielmford.com |
10-14-2012, 11:21 AM | #4946 |
Bovine Excrement Viper
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Location? Location!
Posts: 5,886
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Thanks man. Some of the line I think holds up still... most of it, not so much.
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10-14-2012, 08:17 PM | #4947 |
Smells Lemony
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 10,549
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Yes, the painting isn't terrible at all. Too bad for the whole GI Joe [almost] X-Treme aspect of the mold designs.
Did a read that Irid is even closer to matching his cranky old man inside on the outside? Yes, the "GDO" series was a handful of supposedly "cancelled for US Release" Classics figures that Domestic TRUs wound up with afterall. If I'm remembering the backstory correctly, anyway. Personally, nothing rings the "Now I have to have it" bell in a collector's head more than the above scenario. Suddenly, a handful of "might get them on clearance" repaints become an in demand impulse buy. I do find it funny that these fellas were buying Barbies and Sorry: the board game. Well, it's mroe the Sorry games than the Barbies that I find odd. |
10-14-2012, 10:48 PM | #4948 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New Castle, Delaware
Posts: 4,498
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Yepp, I'm a year closer to being as curmudgeonly on the exterior as I am beneath it.
Dudes, please support Marauder John's kickstarter. His stuff is awesome. You'll never regret it.
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danielmford.com |
10-15-2012, 09:29 PM | #4949 |
Bovine Excrement Viper
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Location? Location!
Posts: 5,886
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Quote:
Yes, the "GDO" series was a handful of supposedly "cancelled for US Release" Classics figures that Domestic TRUs wound up with afterall. If I'm remembering the backstory correctly, anyway. Personally, nothing rings the "Now I have to have it" bell in a collector's head more than the above scenario. Suddenly, a handful of "might get them on clearance" repaints become an in demand impulse buy.
...though, truth be told, I probably would have snagged Wheelie. I've been thinking about it. I've bought there before and I was happy with the product. Last edited by Hellion42; 10-16-2012 at 03:58 AM.. |
10-16-2012, 04:31 AM | #4950 |
Bovine Excrement Viper
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Location? Location!
Posts: 5,886
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So, since we're kind of on the topic of new sculpt Joes... I was going through old emails tonight and found a review that I wrote for a long gone wrestling fansite-turned-general-interest site. I didn't last very long there as it takes me forever to compose even brief emails and posts. And since I've been sharing old works, I shall paste a sample below. (There is a part 1, but it's dull as dirt as it was my audition piece.) Just ignore the random HTML, I'm lazy and didn't feel like cleaning it up.
---------------------------------------- [body] G.I. Joe vs. Cobra, Wave 5 (Part 2) $7.99/two-pack (MSRP) Hi everyone, welcome to the slightly tardy review of JvC wave 5, brought to you by 60+ hour work weeks and .hack//MUTATION. Note to those of you that are going to play this: if you're about 5-10 hours into the game and suddenly feel compelled to throttle Bandai for milking .cash//COW a bit too hard, DON'T PANIC! Anyway, my second review for 411 introduces some amazing reader interaction! By proving your geekhood, you could win a JvC figure of your very own! Ooo, I get all tingly just thinking about it! Sgt. Hacker vs. Scalpel To start us off we have two brand new characters. Judging from the included Spy Troops gear, Sgt. Hacker's mission is to infiltrate Cobra computer installations and [strike]get caught[/strike] make their homepage redirect to [a href="http://maddox.xmission.com"target="_blank"]somewhere else[/a]. Scalpel is the long-awaited Cobra medic. [img src="http://411images.com/figures/gijoe/shvs.jpg"] Sgt. Hacker The Mold: The first thing that jumps out at me about this figure is the proportions. It's the same height as most of the line, yet its legs are significantly longer, and its torso is condensed. This also gives the impression that its arms are too long, though they are proportionate to its overall height. The smaller torso is probably the reason why the legs on my figure (and possibly others as well) are loose: the o-ring remains the same size while the distance from the body screw to the t-bar gets smaller. Proportion issues aside, the detail is fairly good. Straps, pouches, and attachments abound. It may just be the bulk of the jacket, but the figure appears a little hunched at the shoulders. The head sculpt is fair: nothing that great, but nothing horrid either. Coloring: Sgt. Hacker is molded in a light gray, with a pleasant shadow gray used for the majority of the highlights (straps, boots, etc.). Silver is applied liberally to the attachments, with touches of blue and black here and there. Good color choices overall. ST Gear: The figure comes with a gray hood with integrated goggles, gray shin guards with red Cobra sigils on the knees, and a black vest with a screened Cobra sigil on the chest, all of which are made out of soft plastic. The disguise, according to the cardback, is intended to make Sgt. Hacker look like Firefly. Um... if they say so. The mask looks more like it belongs to the top-secret Gimp Viper, and the vest barely fits. I know some of these are going to take imagination, but this one's a stretch, especially considering that A) Firefly has a wiry frame, B) Firefly is decked out in nearly all black, and C) there's one of those pesky G.I. Joe logos on Sgt. Hacker's left leg that remains uncovered. Oops. All in all, I've seen third graders with better Halloween costumes. Other Accessories: Brown machine gun, silver Sound Attack machine gun, and a silver grappling hook with black rope. Grade: C- The bad and the good about the figure itself kinda balance each other out, but the accessories, with the exception of the brown machine gun, are pretty lame. Sgt. Hacker should stay planted in front of a terminal far away from the front lines... unless of course he likes Cobra prisons. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm gonna go make a custom Gimp Viper figure. Scalpel The Mold: This figure is done up in simple hospital scrubs with some demented add-ons. There's a chest plate chock full of nasty-looking scalpels, a swing out bone saw on the right arm, and an ammo belt (?!?) on the right biceps. Cobra sigils on the knees and some pouches are really the only other details. The head mold screams evil, though it cannot tilt up and down due to the torso halves fitting so closely around it. Unfortunately, this is another figure that has the rubberized "tails" around its waist, thereby making it impossible for the figure to be put in a sitting position. Coloring: Scalpel is molded entirely in hospital green, with black used for the straps, white highlights, and poorly-applied red for the Cobra symbols and plate trim. There is a rather long pink scar painted onto its face. WHile I can see why this was added, I don't think it really adds to the figure in the way that was probably intended. ST Gear: N/A Accessories: Before I have a conniption from staring at so much crap for so long, let me just say that the included brown knife and brown rifle with bayonet are perfectly acceptable accessories... for a soldier, not a doctor. But it gets better! Scalpel also comes with a set of red shoulder pads that theoretically attach to a hole in his back, but actually have a secret "fall right the fuck off" action feature! Looking for this part after it has fallen on the floor for the 42nd time adds literally hours of play time that would probably be better spent wondering what the hell the pointy things sticking out of the back of it are. The surgical mask takes the cake though. Envision this: Moltar's helmet. Painted green. With a jock strap stapled across the front. I'm not making this stuff up folks. Grade: D- A mediocre figure saddled with what has to be the worst set of accessories since the Eco-Warriors line. On the bright side, I can probably use the jock strap-looking thing for my Gimp Viper. Tunnel Rat vs. Over Kill Tunnel Rat, originally introduced in the G.I. Joe movie way back in 1987, retains the same basic look as in his previous 3 versions. Over Kill is the half human half machine B.A.T. leader. His only other version at the time of this release was as part of the Talking Battle Commanders subset. Irony: both the original and current Over Kill have gotten repaints since then. It's Over Kill overkill! *ducks* Hey, groan all you want, but no throwing stuff! This is my review, I'll make bad jokes if I wanna! [img src="http://411images.com/figures/gijoe/trvok.jpg"] Tunnel Rat The Mold: This figure is somewhat taller than the rest of the line due to the legs being a bit overlong. It doesn't look bad, actually, it just conflicts with Tunnel Rat's character: he's supposed to like being in tight spaces. Having legs that long would probably complicate things a little. Anyway, the mold is pretty standard, being made up of long pants, an open riveted jacket, and long gloves. The standout feature is soft plastic belt with twin handgun holsters that sits between the torso and hips. Again, while it may look neat, like the tails on some of the other figures it impedes the figure from being put into a sitting position. The head mold is just kinda there, but I like it. Again, head movement is limited to left and right by the torso halves. Coloring: Overall, very good. The pants and shirt (overalls maybe?) are done in a black on brown camo pattern. The jacket is green, his bandanna black on green camo, the gloves are gray, and there's black and silver highlights. The problem lies in the jacket. The arms are molded in green plastic, the chest parts are painted green, and the color matching is atrocious. C'mon Hasbro, you only have to match the colors once, the factory takes care of the rest. ST Gear: Multiple choice time! Tunnel Rat comes with Spy Troops armor that makes him look like: A) a Toxo-Viper B) Baxter Stockman C) a pack of Mystery Mix Now and Laters D) Cobra-La reject #37 If you answered, you're wrong. The cardback may say Toxo-Viper, but the other Toxo-Vipers think the card is full of shit. He may have a bug-eyed helmet, but Baxter has wings. The purple armor may clash gorgeously with his green jacket, but Now and Laters are square (although on further inspection, they both have the same texture when chewed on and have roughly the same flavor). And finally, Cobra-La was the rejects. Ha ha, I slay me. In all honesty, while the armor (helmet, chest plate, forearm and shin guards) fits like a glove, the idea that it can be used as a disguise is ridiculous. The one saving grace in all of this is that the figure comes with an absolutely wicked brown shield with a detailed cobra logo taking up the whole face, done in high relief. With the right paint job this would make an awesome addition to a custom figure. Other Accessories: Why would someone who crawls through pipes and ducts and such carry a sniper rifle with him? More importantly, how would he carry this? Tunnel Rat also comes with a huge laser(?) rifle that, taken up to full scale, is two feet tall and six frickin' feet long, and if that not big enough for you, it also has a Sound Attack tab sticking out of it. It probably weighs close to 500 pounds and I am at a complete loss as to how any human being could use something so huge in combat, let alone trudge it through the sewers. I think my brain is going to melt. Grade: I'm going to break my own rule here and grade the figure separately from the accessories (it's my review, I'm allowed). The figure gets a C+ because it's not that bad, but is flawed in little ways that tick me off. The shield gets a B for Belongs to Some Other Figure. The ST armor gets an N for No More Please. The guns get a Plural Z just because I think they warrant the obscure reference. All of this would average out to a grade that's not in the alphabet, thereby justifying my decision to grade the figure separately. Shameless Plead for Reader Email: What can I say? I guess I'm just a generous guy. The first person to correctly identify the obscure reference wins their choice of the following: wave 1/1.35 Frostbite; wave 2 Sgt. Stalker or Dusty; wave 4 Wild Bill, Shipwreck, or Dart; wave 5 Recondo; wave 6 Beachead. Joy! Just email me using the link below. Over Kill The Mold: Seeing as how Over Kill is an cyborg, Hasbro had a lot of built-in leeway in the design of this figure. Strangely enough, this figure looks more human than some of the real human figures from this line. *coughFlintcoughhack* The figure is done in a ribbed body suit, with armor plating on the chest and arms. There is a detachable pivoting plate on its left shoulder, and its right arm ends in a stump just below the elbow, allowing you to attach the included accessories. The head sculpt is unique. The bottom half of the head is covered by a scarf which flows down around its neck and shoulders. This limits the neck articulation a bit, but the overall effect is worth the sacrifice. Hasbro, continuing its obsession with things that hang below men's waists, includes a low-slung soft plastic belt that, once again, won't let the figure sit. Thankfully, the belt is easily removed. It seems that the simpler Hasbro makes the figure molds, the more I like them. Good stuff here. Coloring: The figure is primarily teal, with black and metallic blue used for the armor plating. A little disappointing is the fact that the body suit on the lower legs and the left arm seem to have been painted a glossy dark green while the rest was molded in teal. It's stuff like this that starts to add up and leave a bad taste in your mouth. While I guess this could have been intentional, it seems rather odd to have a uniform change color at the knees. The face is a suitably sickly flesh tone, and the hair is a very unnatural looking dark red. Since Over Kill is unnatural to begin with, I have no problems with this. Bonus: there's a wicked screened red snake on the right leg. ST Gear: N/A Accessories: Over Kill comes with a specially designed black and silver machine gun and silver serrated blade, both of which attach to his right arm to good effect. Also included are a brown ornamental knife and a black helmet with a green Cobra logo on the crest. Grade: B Color matching issues aside, this is a pretty well thought out figure. And, um... well, that's it, really. Recondo vs. Iron Grenadier Look, I know it's not in alphabetical order, but I really wanted to end this on a high note. The third version of Recondo sees him without his trademark mustache and folded hat, instead being clean-shaven with a cap. Iron Grenadier retains the same basic look as his predecessor, but looks about a hundred times more bad ass. [img src="http://411images.com/figures/gijoe/rvig.jpg"] Recondo The Mold: Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit dammit DAMMIT! So close... so frigging close! Why... WHY does one leg have to be longer than the other?!? This figure had everything going for it... nice proportions, good detail, swivel calves, even the elusive swivel wrists. But Hasbro had to go and make the right leg just long enough to make the figure stand crooked. I want to swear profusely, except I'm still a n00|3 here and I haven't officially been informed as to where the proverbial line is, so I might as well not even start. Seriously, I was prepared to start singing the praises of this figure. Then I tried to stand him on top of my desk. Closer inspection resulted, followed by such foul language that a sailor-turned-porn-star would blush a little. Ok, I'm going to ignore the leg now. *ignores* Wow, this figure is great! Again, simple just works. Pants, boots, utility belt, khaki shirt, equipment vest, realistic face, cap. The calves swivel at the top of the boots and the wrists swivel also, allowing much more realistic and varied weapon positioning than the fixed wrists. That's all it has, and that's all it needs. Very, very nice. *figure falls over sideways because of the leg* GAH! *smashes figure with a magically appearing giant mallet* It's a good thing I bought five of these. Coloring: Simple tan on brown camo for the pants, tan shirt, brown boots and gloves, dark gray vest, green belts and straps, silver highlights. My only quibble is that paint wasn't applied to part of one of the criscrossed belts at the waist. Oh, and he has a lazy eye. Can you tell I'm nitpicking? More goodness. ST Gear: CONTROVERSY~! The two pack comes with a tan ghillie suit. In pre-production product shots, the suit was pictured with Recondo. However, the cardback states that it belongs to Iron Grenadier as a "disguise." I was torn. So, to help me decide, I did what any other male raised on [a href="http://www.411mania.com/games/"target="_blank"]video games[/a] and [a href="http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/"target="_blank"]wrestling[/a] would do. I ordered a deathmatch. Sweaty-Poncho-on-a-Pole Deathmatch: Recondo v. Iron Grenadier. Recondo gets no respect as his entrance is cut. Iron Grenadier is escorted to the ring by Destro and the Baroness, and the fans chant for puppies. Lockup to start, and Iron G throws Recondo into the corner and kicks him in the nuts. Cobra rules. Recondo kips up and fights back with a spinning back fist and a boot to the head. Iron G is pissed. He ducks the elbow and counters with a go-behind into a release German suplex. Recondo is slow getting up. Iron G takes advantage and hits a Shoryuken! Holy shit! Annu Mutsube! Tiger Shot! Rising Tackle! The crowd is going absolutely NUTS for this. New Wave Smash, Hadouken, Da Cide, and Shunpu Renkyaku cancelled into a Shungokusatsu! Recondo is so dead. Iron G does a little victory dance and starts climbing the pole, albeit very slowly. Wait, Recondo is up! He yanks Iron G from the turnbuckle smacks him upside the head with a frozen trout. Recondo leaps up to the top, snags the ghillie suit, puts it on, and promptly disappears. Call it a Sportz Entertainment finish with 385 remaining. Total spotfest. **1/2 So that's settled then. Memo to Scott: please don't sue me! Other Accessories: Recondo comes with a neat brown rifle w/scope and a non-neat silver Sound Attack shotgun w/huge retarded tab. Grade: B+ This figure was so close to being perfect. Fix his leg and feed the SA gun to your cat and you have a figure that kicks so much ass that even his momma's scared of him. Iron Grenadier The Mold: This figure is tall, thin, and ripped. It has a full body suit (including mask) with various pieces of metal armor attached. There's pouches on the belt, a handgun w/holster on the leg, and Cobra sigils on the knees. On the left side of the torso there is what appears to be an opening in the suit with ribbed material beneath. Ventilation, maybe? Two blahs about this figure: the head seems to be crooked, and the waist and torso come together in such a way that the o-ring is allowed to torque the torso down a bit and around to the left (essentially trying to straighten itself out). I thought that Hasbro had finally found a way around this problem, but apparently not. Other than those two things, the sculpt is decent, and once again, simple equals effective. Coloring: The figure's body suit is black, and the armor and highlights are done in silver and metallic blue. The Cobra symbols and the ventilation are red. The eyes are a bit crooked and look off to the left, reinforcing the appearance that the entire head is slightly off. Even so, the figure does look pretty pissed. Big props to Hasbro for tracing the seams of the upper part of the suit in metallic blue. This little touch gives huge definition to the figure and looks really sharp. Overall this figure is really eye catching. ST Gear: See above. Other Accessories: Weapons-wise, the figure comes with a small brown machine gun and a brown mortar with stand. In an obvious (and successful) attempt to please me, a black helmet and a set of shoulder armor is included as well. Each has a rather large stylized Cobra insignia (the same design from Tunnel Rat's shield). The helmet has a silver visor that doesn't quite cover the eye cutout on the head mask. Don't ask me why I did this, but the shoulder armor fits quite well on the figure's head. Grade: A Nitpicky issues aside, this is a great figure. Even better is that it's an army builder, which gives everyone a built-in excuse to buy lots and lots of them. (As a side note to those of you that do army build, be prepared to open your wallets for wave 7: Iron Grenadier gets a repaint, plus two more Cobra and a possible Joe(!) army builder. Check the Toy Report on Friday for more info.) And that's it for wave 5. Here's the breakdown: Total number of A figures: 3 Total number of B figures: 3 Total number of C figures: 3 Total number of D figures: 2 Total number of F figures: 0 Wow... Statistically, I was surprisingly fair. How'd that happen? As you can see, wave 5 is a veritable mixed bag. Collectors will be buying all of these regardless, but for you casual fans, the decision is a bit tougher. Recondo vs. Iron Grenadier is a definite must-have, with Barrel Roll a close second. Getting the rest of the good figures means buying a crap one as well, as Hasbro shows some marketing savvy by mixing and matching. Wave 5 in a nutshell The Good: All new sculpts. New characters. SWIVEL WRISTS~! The Bad: Poor proportions. Shirt tails. Sound Attack. The Ugly: Spy Troops gear. What a tarded idea. That about wraps things up. Thanks for reading! Contest entries and any feedback can be sent via the link below. Up next is a review of the internet-exclusive B.A.T. army builder pack, hopefully to be completed in a more timely manner this time around. Till then, the rest of the 411 Figures staff has all of your toy needs covered! [/body] |
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