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08-31-2009, 08:05 PM | #1 |
Prastic Clackhead
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Whatever.
Posts: 975
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The last time I saw Steven Seagal was on the Onion the Movie.
Now we get this in December on A&E: Just when we've thought we saw the last of him. LOL :lol: By the way, is his hair real, or a dupay?
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08-31-2009, 08:09 PM | #2 |
the one in the blue shirt
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Oscar Mike
Posts: 2,148
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I wonder if his name will be Nico or Ricky or Nicky. Hmmm choices.
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08-31-2009, 11:05 PM | #3 |
Cobra Viper
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: coleman mi
Posts: 378
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it a reality show can't remember where i read about it thou
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08-31-2009, 11:16 PM | #4 |
MCC Recruiter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Asteroid M
Posts: 9,872
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First, you must understand the rules of a Steven Seagal movie.
Than you will see seagul everywhere. Steven Seagal only stars in movies that are 3 worlds (On deadly ground, Above the law, Out for justice, etc.). Steven Seagul believes in stereotyping (than killing) all minorities, regardless of enemy's affection for sporting a fancy ponytail. If a Steven Seagul movie has a single or double word title, chances are good it may be made into a sequel, equal to or greater than the original in terms of suck. No matter the reviews, Steven Seagul will go see the movie. Steven Seagal will not act in a movie unless he can direct, executive produce, and also be key grip. Best boy title reserved for Steven Seagal. Steven Seagal will only fight with his hands, if a bad guy has a gun, Steven Seagal must be able to stop time and break bad guys hand before able to fire. Steven Seagal will always disarm a weapon, dump out the bullets, and throw away the gun in close reach just to dare a bad guy to do it again. Steven Seagal will only act in movies where he can play a loaner; Steven Seagal does not train, nor fight, on a team. Steven Seagal does not play well with others. Steven Seagal requires 6lbs of V05 Hot-oil for his ponytail on set at all times, and ready access to a variety of italian cold cuts of the 6ft variety, that he will chop with his bare hands. Steven Seagul does not require wires for stunt scenes; rather, he rewrites physics to his karate. Steven Seagul does not believe in mixed martial arts; he has filed a petition to rename this mixed Seagul.
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Last edited by JoeMama; 08-31-2009 at 11:19 PM.. |
08-31-2009, 11:32 PM | #5 |
Epically lazy bastard!
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: My Recliner
Posts: 24,028
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man this dude just needs to hang it up. Hes done.
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08-31-2009, 11:34 PM | #6 |
Saboteur Assassin Kingpin
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Heavan Passed away9/5/14
Posts: 12,636
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Very True!!!! I agree!!!!
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09-01-2009, 12:10 AM | #7 |
Hisstank.Com General
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 11,379
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Quote:
First, you must understand the rules of a Steven Seagal movie.
Than you will see seagul everywhere. Steven Seagal only stars in movies that are 3 worlds (On deadly ground, Above the law, Out for justice, etc.). Steven Seagul believes in stereotyping (than killing) all minorities, regardless of enemy's affection for sporting a fancy ponytail. If a Steven Seagul movie has a single or double word title, chances are good it may be made into a sequel, equal to or greater than the original in terms of suck. No matter the reviews, Steven Seagul will go see the movie. Steven Seagal will not act in a movie unless he can direct, executive produce, and also be key grip. Best boy title reserved for Steven Seagal. Steven Seagal will only fight with his hands, if a bad guy has a gun, Steven Seagal must be able to stop time and break bad guys hand before able to fire. Steven Seagal will always disarm a weapon, dump out the bullets, and throw away the gun in close reach just to dare a bad guy to do it again. Steven Seagal will only act in movies where he can play a loaner; Steven Seagal does not train, nor fight, on a team. Steven Seagal does not play well with others. Steven Seagal requires 6lbs of V05 Hot-oil for his ponytail on set at all times, and ready access to a variety of italian cold cuts of the 6ft variety, that he will chop with his bare hands. Steven Seagul does not require wires for stunt scenes; rather, he rewrites physics to his karate. Steven Seagul does not believe in mixed martial arts; he has filed a petition to rename this mixed Seagul. Be on the lookout for my first movie Time for Vengence. |
09-01-2009, 12:20 AM | #8 |
has been warned
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 2,039
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I mean, can you imagine getting arrested and thrown against the pavement by steven seagal? That would be a story you could tell your grandkids, provided they have even heard of him. I hope in this new lawman show he runs around breaking peoples necks like its going out of style.
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09-01-2009, 12:21 AM | #9 |
Mortal Enemy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Site B
Posts: 32,666
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Last time I saw him was playing with his Jazz band at the Tractor Tavern in Seattle. I hope that's what he's up to!
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09-01-2009, 12:25 AM | #10 |
S.W.A.T. SPECIALIST
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: ROSSCOAST
Posts: 602
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I just read on Yahoo Movies, that he's gonna be in Robert Rodriguez's movie "MACHETE". Yeah, it's based on that "fake" trailer from the Grindhouse double feature. It's also starring Robert DeNiro, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, and Lindsay Lohan.
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