|01-20-2009, 10:50 PM||#1|
Join Date: Feb 2008
Remember when I wrote how I’d bring back the Joker? Well, instead of doing homework like a good boy, I decided to come up with an idea for Batman 3, which I’d call---
It’s far from perfect, and I know that some things feel rushed, but hey, Gimme a break, I’m a mere college student. I'm not done with it yet, but I need to go do homework, and before I finish, I felt like taking suggestions. I’d expect it to hit the near 3 hour mark, maybe 2 ½. Anyhow---
Taglines (like the “Why so serious?”, “I Believe in Harvey Dent”, etc)-
“How much can one man sacrifice?”
“No victory is permanent.”
“His darkest hour…”
“He lost the one person he cared about the most. Now he will lose everything that’s left.”
Batman- Christian Bale
Alfred- Michael Caine
Lucious Fox- Morgan Freeman
Catwoman- (Dunno, but these are my picks) Angelina Jolie, Charlize Theron, Rosario Dawson
Slade- Daniel Craig *
Firefly- (dunno agian, but I like-)Ben Foster
Black Mask- Clive Owen
Penguin (cameo)- Bob Hoskins
Joker (sound byte, cameo)- Heath Ledger
Harley Quin- Kristen Bell
*Note- I would prefer Slade to Deadshot, but seeing how WB want’s to have a Teen Titans movie, I doubt that they’ll have Deathsroke in a Batman movie, as they’d prefer to have him in the TT movie. Still, this is my choice, so :P Deadshot would ultimately serve the same purpose, though.
A deranged copycat (Harley Quin) is sneaking through an opera house, using gymnastics. Finally, she gets to a door down a hallway, after quietly killing some security. She opens the door, which leads to a balcony (in the same opera house Bruce Wayne and his family used to visit). Throwing out firecrackers and with a loud “Tah-Dah!”, she vaults over to the mayor and shoves a pistol into the forehead of the confused politician, and before pulling the trigger, she says-
“Wanna know how I got these scars?”
Before the girl can pull the trigger, wanted vigilante Batman swoops in, knocking the gun from her hand and quickly subduing her. He makes his escape before security arrives.
As the mayor talks with Gordon soon after, the commissioner sees Batman vaguely through a door and excuses himself. He exits the building into a familiar alleyway and is alone, but there is a voice from the shadows.
(jist of the convo-)
Batman: Who was she?
Gordon: Some copycat, looking to be like him. Sure picked a hell of a role model.
Batman: There will be others.
G: Most likely. How did you know-?
B: Whispers. I was looking for info on the recent string of cat burglaries. Heard there was someone asking about security at the opera house. Not a likely place for a thief. Checked the VIP guest list. Only one target worth risking time over.
G: Makes sense.
B: What happens to her now?
G: Most likely, an extended stay at the rebuilt Arkham.
B: Keep her away from him.
G: Now there’s a match I’d hate to see. Thanks for the quick exit, though. Makes things easier.
B: Nothing’s ever easy. (We see something red in Batman’s hand in the shadows, Gordon does not)
G: (sighs) Yeah, well, with Harvey sill in the hearts of people, it is. (there should be a SLIGHT hint that Dent is still alive)
There’s no response, so Gordon assumes Batman has left, and he re-enters the building. Alone, Batman swoops down and leaves a rose at the spot where his parents were murdered, and then leaves.
Alfred places roses on Rachel’s grave, then returns to his car.
Alfred wakes Bruce up. It’s Afternoon. Alfred comments that they get to move to the rebuilt Wayne manor soon. Bruce Wayne has a big day ahead though, being the figurehead behind a charity to rebuild the hospital the Joker destroyed in DK. Alfred explains that Roman Sionis will be there, the son of one of Thomas Wayne’s business partners (Alfred sounds much more negative when discussing Wilson Sionis, Roman’s father) and then implores Bruce to take a date to the event, but Bruce refuses, still depressed by Rachel’s death. Alfred tells him that Bruce Wayne cannot seem depressed about a death that made Batman more violent than usual, to which Bruce replies “Well, luckily she was Bruce Wayne’s friend, too.”
Lucious Fox calmly exit’s the building, saying goodnight to a few guards. After he leaves, we see the guards go about their business, as one by one, they’re killed by a man with a silenced pistol. He wears a dark-blue commando uniform, with a mask that only has a single eye hole, one half dark blue like his shirt, the other a very dark orange. He has an ammo belt on, as well as a machete in a holder across his back and he is accompanied by a man in a black and grey camo fatigues with explosives equipment. He has a symbol of a bug on his shoulder pads; a firefly in orange with a green glow to his abdomen.
Bruce wayne, doing a much-worse than usual performance as a care-free bachelor, attempts to socialize. Bruce notices an attractive woman in a black dress with even darker hair (hey, I’m trying to be slightly poetic here, give me a break.). He is introduced by Alfred to Roman Sionis. He is pleasant, friendly and funny. Alfred seems to like him very much. They chit chat about local events; Batman being a rogue, the thief, and the Joker’s destruction. Bruce doesn’t like the last subject, and Sionis quickly apologizes for his insensitivity, remembering Bruce and Rachel were childhood friends. Before they can further discuss things, an announcer declares that the charity auction is now underway. First up is a golden cheetah statue, which Bruce agrees with Roman, is hideous. However, as it’s for the hospital, he bids $200,000. There are other bidders, but Bruce trumps them with $750K. Before the item is sold off, the dark haired woman bids $1 mill, and this causes a stir. Bruce and the woman get into a playful bidding match, with Bruce relenting at $4.5 mill, the statue going to the woman, to Roman’s amusement. Afterwards, Bruce talks to the woman, and she says her name is Selina Kyle (duh). He tells her to take care of the statue, and she playfully asks “Is that the sarcasm of a sore loser?” Bruce nods at the tag around the statue’s neck and says no, just the wish of the donator.”, and leaves. Kyle inspects the tag to see Bruce’s name.
Finally, the duo enter a boiler room. The one eyed man (Slade) tells the arsonist to hurry up. The arsonist sets up a bomb while the other man stands watch. They finish, and leave the building. The man in camo calls someone on a cell-phone.
As they drive away, WayneEnt is DESTROYED in massive explosion.
Wayne, reunited with Roman, talk over wine (we see Wayne faking it), and Wayne gets a call on his cell-
“Lucious, good to hear form you, how are- What?” (Roman chokes on his drink briefly at the news)
Roman offers Bruce a ride, but he declines, excuses himself and leaves.
Bruce arrives, talks with Gordon and Lucious. Over 60 employees were killed in the explosion. As Gordon leaves to talk with others, Bruce has some quiet words with Lucious. After a brief “Still not happy bout the cell-phone rigging” hint (from DK), Lucious tells Bruce that after the incident with the employee that learned his identity, he moved all the equipment and the new “prototype” to another location. Bruce leaves, and tells Alfred to review his private security feeds as he gets in his car.
Batman searches through the ngiht. We get a shot of him grapple-swinging like the old cartoon. He descends upon a game of illegal craps, and scars everyone off save Matches Malone, a low-level enforcer. After some “persuasion”, Matches admits to not knowing anything for real, and that all the major crime bosses were either killed or disappeared (DK), and there are nothing but scattered gangs and thugs. There are rumors of some guy in a mask trying to round people up though. When Batman asks who this guy is, Matches says with a smirk; “If you work for him, you don’t tell. If you don’t and he’s asked you, you ain’t breathin’.”
Gordon enters his office after having a few words with subordinates, and is startled to find Batman waiting for him.
G: You think I’d get used to that.
B: I’m not doing it right if you ever do.
Batman explains that the explosion at WayneEnt. is most likely either political or financial, or maybe even a cover, as there is no word on the street about someone attacking WayneEnt, but there is rumor of some guy in a mask.
G: Just what we need, another guy in a mask with no history…
He looks over to Batman, and is surprised to see him still there.
G: Usually, you’d leave about now.
B: There’s more-
They are interrupted by Detective Stephens (the burly cop who was “captured” by the Joker in DK), who stops at Batman’s presence, then acts like nothing’s wrong. (Stephens being one of the few cops who seemed reluctant at the end of DK when the signal is destroyed, I figured he’d be ok to have a moment like this that shows not everyone believes Batman is a killer)
S: Jim, there’s been a break in at Sionis Corp. Silent alarm just went off.
Gordon turns to Batman, saying “You better leave before-”
Batman is gone.
END PART ONE (roughly 45 mins worth)
NOW, I admit it needs some tweaking here and there, but so far, I’m proud of it. I know it doesn’t stack up to the Dark Knight, but this is just my story. And yes, I know that there’s a lot to it. Expect the next part either tomorrow or the next day. I’m working hard on this (though I really shouldn’t be), but I don’t have time to finish it now, though I have the rest of the “movie” planned out.
Any thoughts? Suggestions?
AND YES I KNOW IT'S A LONG READ!
|01-20-2009, 11:04 PM||#2|
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: NYS- Finger Lakes
i think it sounds really good so far. a lot less contrived than some of the stuff in both of the movies.
can't wait to see what else you've got
|01-20-2009, 11:20 PM||#3|
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Northern Michigan
what's wrong with along read. So far so good. Really good so far.
|01-20-2009, 11:35 PM||#4|
Win, Lose or Die
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Canton, Michigan
Not bad at all. I look forward to reading more.
Cobra has won. The Battle is over. Or is it?
The Reign of Tears has begun! Check out my original G.I.Joe story!
|01-20-2009, 11:58 PM||#5|
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hiding from the ROC Police
I'm impressed. I think your on to something.
|01-21-2009, 05:59 PM||#6|
Join Date: Feb 2008
Here's part 2. A little more plot, and I plan on tweaking it a bit.
BEGIN PART TWO
*Sionis Corp HQ
A hallway. We can see a wall, and it’s obvious that there’s no lights on. We see a hand come into view, palm up, with a powder held in the middle of the black clad palm. Slowly, the bottom of a feminine face comes into view, and we watch as red lips blow the dust in front of her. We now see the dust reveal security alarm lasers. We see the woman (can’t make out her face) and she runs, into the lasers, diving, twisting, turning, curving past them. When she gets to the other side, we see her face. Catwoman. She catwalks (like a model) down the hall, and carefully opens the door that says “Roman Sionis” on it. Inside, she finds a safe behind a painting, but chuckles.
C: Nice try.
She looks around the room, and examines things, picking them up, putting them down, until she spins a globe. She knocks on it. It’s hollow. By pressing in the country of Germany, it opens, revealing a small keypad. She blows more dust on it, revealing finger prints. After a few tries of the keys marked, she gets the combination, and a book case opens up, revealing ANOTHER safe. She presses her ear to it, and slowly starts to open it when-
A batarang hits the wood of the case in front to her. She turns and in the window, on a balcony, crouches Batman.
C: I was expecting you to have fangs…
Batman jumps into the room, but stands and stays still.
B: And I was expecting someone other than a cat burglar.
C: Nope just me and you. Not that I’m complaining.
B: But I am. Who are you?
C: You said it yourself. A cat. Are you going to arrest me? (<seductively)
B: Do I look like a cop?
C: No, but please tell me you still have handcuffs.
Something catches Batman’s eye, and he glances past her. Catwoman looks, and she sees a small light on a panel next to the safe that reads “Alarm”, is blinking.
C: (Turning to Batman) That wasn’t on when I got here.
B: It’s been on for 6 minutes.
C: I’ve been here for three.
B: In this room or this building?
C: What’s it matter?
Batman doesn’t say anything. He shoots his grappling hook so that it banks off of walls and wraps around Catwoman’s waist. He pulls her to him in a mighty tug, catching her off guard. Grabbing her, he runs to the window and dives off the balcony, narrowly escaping the explosion that erupts from the safe. His cape flutters into wings, and he glides onto a nearby building. The explosion is smaller than the one that destroyed WayneEnt, but would surely have killed them both.
They land, and Catwoman frees herself from his grip.
C: What the hell was that? (gasping)
B: How did you get into that building? Was anyone with you?
C: No, calm down. I was by myself. How’d you know-
Batman holds up his hand, and she stops talking.
A slight beeping is heard and he yells “JUMP!” Another explosion rocks the rooftop they landed on, and the rooftops around them. Catwoman dives off the building, directly behind her Batman, and behind him, fire. He grabs at her in free fall, but she shoves him off.
C: Get off! (claws at him, cutting his arm in just the right place)
Catwoman uses her own grappling hook (thrown) to catch herself on a fire escape. Batman lands safely, but hard, using his cape. He looks up, but she’s gone. There is fire all around above him, and as sirens fast approach, he makes his escape.
*An Unassuming Warehouse
Firefly and Slade stand in a dark room, waiting.
F: You hear those sirens? Beauty. True beauty.
S: You have problems.
F: Says the man who can‘t pass a driver‘s license test.
Slade steps closer to Firefly; this may become violent. But another voice rings out from the darkness.
“Gentlemen, you have done well.”
A man in a black suit steps out of the shadows. He is accompanied by four men, large, with automatic rifles. A fifth man, small, scrawny, carries two brief cases. He walks over, gives the cases to the two mercs, and returns to his boss. The man in the black suit wears a mask, a face-covering cotton mask with an embroidered skull over it. He has wild eyes, but there is something behind them.
The skull in a dark grey, the rest of the mask black. Black Mask
BM: The destruction of Wayne Enterprises, the assassination of Roman Sionis and the destruction of the Reinhart Properties buildings. More than I though possible in a night. But we have so much left to do.”
Batman is there, sneaking past the guards. The CSI are busy with their new crime scene at Sionis Corp. He activates a HUD in his cowl (similar to the sonar in DK) that acts as an X-ray. He digs through the rubble, finding a bullet casing that has the Penguin’s Munitions logo on it.
Wayne returns home, and removes hi cowl. Alfred is watching the security tapes in one of the rooms with luscious. Lucious acts surprised to see Wayne as Batman.
B: You act like you didn’t know.
L: Just because you know there are sharks in the water doesn’t mean you aren’t surprised when you see one coming at you, Mr. Wayne.
A: I asked Lucious to help me sift through this footage, sir. There was quite a lot, and I thought another pair of eyes-
B: It’s alright Alfred. Mind if I borrow Mr.Fox?
A: Not at all.
Batman and Lucious walk together to a hidden armory in the penthouse. They discuss the arsons at Sionis and WayneEnt, and Fox informs Wayne that the new prototype is ready for him to see. Wayne thanks him.
L: I’m not doing this for you, Mr.Wayne. There are people out there who need your help, despite my questions of your occasional methods.
B: That was a one time deal, Lucious. He had to be stopped.
L: Many people have to be stopped, Mr.Wayne. But you must be careful not to begin, yourself.
Wayne nods, understanding his point, but says nothing.
B: Set up a press conference, Lucious. Whoever did this did it for a reason, and I want WayneEnterprises to look strong as ever. Whoever’s responsible is hoping for weakness. We’re not going ot give it to them.
L: Agreed. (<solemnly)
B: Oh, and Lucious. Make sure everyone who… Make sure everyone gets taken care of.
L: Gladly, Mr.Wayne.
Bruce is taking off the Batman armor when Alfred interrupts.
A: A call, Master Bruce. It’s Roman Sionis.
B: Roman? How is he?
A: I believe, sir, that’s what he wishes to speak to you about.
Bruce picks up the phone.
R: God, Bruce, who is doing this?
B: (feigning ignorance) What happened, Roman?
R: My office, Bruce. Some jack hole bombed my office, just like your building. I think they were trying to kill me. I’m usually in my office then, but because of the charity ball, I-
B: Roman, calm down. Was anyone hurt?
R: No… No Bruce, no one was hurt.
B: Alright. I’m having a press conference tomorrow. Be there. We can figure this out together.
R: Alright Brue. Thank you. (Click)
Bruce looks at Alfred.
B: Why would someone blow up my building, but only his office?
A: Perhaps they wanted you dead more, sir.
B: (pauses) Alfred, get me as much information about Sionis Corp as you can.
END PART 2
Now, what's next? The press conference, Batman Vs Slade/Firefly, a date with Selina Kyle and more!
|01-21-2009, 05:59 PM||#7|
Join Date: Feb 2008
Oh, and thanks for the VERY kind words.
The theme of the story, sacrifice, will become much more apparent, very soon.
|01-21-2009, 06:20 PM||#8|
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Northern Michigan
Keep it coming.
|01-21-2009, 06:30 PM||#9|
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: West Chester PA
I just got dine reading Hush so, I am on a big Batman kick right now.
Your story is really good and I can't wait to read more.
|01-23-2009, 01:56 AM||#10|
Wookie 1st Class
Join Date: Jan 2009
while i liked it and thought it was really good..
i warn you .. if you are serious about submitting it.. or making something out of it...
to not post anymore or retract what you have...
the internet is no safe place to GUARD your ORIGINAL material...
and i'm not referring to just the Tankers.. as this is a PUBLIC forum and ANYONE can read your stuff..
it's real good. i would say keep at it and keep tweaking.. try getting it copywritten and submitted you never know..
also.. for Harley... i think you should take a look at Brittany Murphy for the role ;)
COBRA BORN.. COBRA BRED!
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