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View Poll Results: The Ultimatum! | |||
Never Surrender | 78 | 85.71% | |
Give it up bro. | 13 | 14.29% | |
Voters: 91. You may not vote on this poll |
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Thread Tools |
12-31-2009, 06:30 PM | #31 |
Cobra Viper
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 443
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Dude we can't make the call for you. I will offer only this:
Someone who truly loves you would never ask you to let go of something you love. |
12-31-2009, 06:34 PM | #32 |
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: I'm a MASS-HOLE!
Posts: 4,830
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12-31-2009, 06:34 PM | #33 |
Banned
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: North Jersey
Posts: 10,454
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Quote:
I still want that "get a real job" part explained a bit more. Alot hinges on that one line.
The entire dynamic of the discussion hinges on that one line. For example, if he has a job and not a career, she can be latching onto the toy collecting as symbolic of his not growing up and being a "real man" (aka, someone that is shown to be able to provide a home and roof for their family and will chose the home/family over "fun"). But if he does have a career and is capable of providing a home and roof for family, then she's just being a bitch. Years ago I lived with a girl who I almost married for about 2 years, she had children from a previous marriage who I treated like my own. I worked and broke my ass, took care of the house, her kids and everything in between. When we 1st started dating she had no idea about collecting and when I told her she was kind of uneasy about it. As time went on and it was obvious I was a "good catch" I never heard 2 words about it. In fact Christmas, bdays and everything else her gifts to me were always comic books, Marvel Legends etc... She was a skank and it ended, but thats another story. Now, I think like everyone else here is thinking if you are being a "man" as far as being responsible financially, spending time with her even if it means doing things you dont care for, mowing the lawn and paying your bills..there is no reason for you not to be able to enjoy your hobby and have some alone time. So..like everyone else here is wondering...what do you do for a living? Gotta fill in the blanks man! |
12-31-2009, 06:35 PM | #34 |
Hisstank.Com General
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Anchorage Alaska aka Frozen Hell
Posts: 10,689
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That's a crappy situation to be thrown into. My two cents:
By the sounds of it there is another underlying issue. Communication. A lot of people keep stuff that bothers them inside and it festers into these types of situations and arguments. Placing blame, as easy as it is for us on the outside to do, is not helpful at all. Without more info, it's hard to say what is the right thing to do. Biggest question...do you love her? And I mean the type of love when you and her wake up in the morning and you look at her just to admire her. To feel lucky to have her. Or is the first thing you think of is "I can't wait to work on that next dio, get that next cool fig...etc" Some posters have said compromise. I disagree. She knew your fondness for joes and other such things before entering into a relationship. You have your hobbies, she has hers. If you accept hers she should be able to accept yours. But once again it boils down to communication. But maybe this is all a wake up call. It just might be the time to re-evaluate the relationship as a whole. Maybe it's a bluff...but i don't think you are that lucky with this one. When is the last time you guys went out on a "date"? Best of luck. |
12-31-2009, 06:36 PM | #35 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Raccoon City
Posts: 2,540
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Quote:
Before I go into a rant on women, let me say that if the joes are a recurring gripe then it may be time to do some serious self-evaluation. However, Is she always demanding and expecting you to change? When you bring up faults of hers, how does that go over? Is it always "something"? Is she the type that just can't be happy unless she's making you miserable? The fact that she is goading you in the way she is "Grow up, Be a real man" leads me to believe that she doesn't really respect you. Demeaning someone isn't the way to get a positive change out of someone in a healthy relationship.
There are millions of women out there who will grab a guy they think they can "change". For a while we usually play along. However, sooner or later, the fact that they didn't really want you, but they guy THEY thought YOU should be will set in. If you ditch her she will likely keep repeating the same stupid mistakes until she ends up with a wimp that will do everything she says...who she will cheat on. Or a total D'bag who bosses her around, and abuses her one way or another. While this may be a good sign to take stock of your actions and contributions to your relationships, past and present, if this girl falls into the above category then wether you should give up, or scale back collecting, and get a "real" job, or not. I'd say show her the door.
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12-31-2009, 06:50 PM | #36 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Antwerp ( Belgium )
Posts: 1,007
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Tssss, girls are all the same.
Trying to change men into slaves... That's the reason why I like boys :-D |
12-31-2009, 06:56 PM | #37 |
Lovable Rogue
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 109
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Time for a new relationship.
Someone who doesn't understand (or care) that Joe collecting is important enough to you isn't a good match. Really. He/she should never ask you to give up things that make you happy, unless they're seriously damaging your life (drugs, et al). This relationship will lead only to unhappiness. I'm serious. I think the only reason you're mentioning the "four year relationship and eleven year friendship" is because you're afraid to end it and potentially be alone. If she loved you, she'd understand that your happiness should be important to her. Sure, there should be some compromises (especially if your collection is putting strain on your financial well-being), but this kind of ultimatum gives a glimpse into a very unhappy future... |
12-31-2009, 07:03 PM | #38 |
Plastic lover
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Over The Rainbow!
Posts: 8,395
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Man up and leave her. If she cannot accept you for who you are and what you bring to the table find another girl that does.
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Anything but to face ourselves as we are... |
12-31-2009, 07:12 PM | #39 |
Hisstank.Com General
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Anchorage Alaska aka Frozen Hell
Posts: 10,689
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two more cents:
"Isn't it better that I spend my money on joes instead of prostitutes??" |
12-31-2009, 07:22 PM | #40 |
[email protected] 4 BST
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: HELL
Posts: 6,074
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I say "Man Up" and tell her the Joes and you are a package deal, and if she don't like it...there's the door.
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