|
Community Links |
Social Groups |
Pictures & Albums |
Members List |
Search Forums |
Advanced Search |
Go to Page... |
|
Thread Tools |
04-20-2009, 11:00 PM | #1 |
Smells Lemony
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 10,549
|
but my cousin's grandmother really made me want to. Begin long winded rant. Disregard if you want.
Saturday, I'm watching television at a family event with my uncles and another cousin [unrelated to the grandmother in question]. Okay, we're watching the Star Wars marathon on mute and adding our own dialog. Anyway, said grandmother walks in, sits down next to me and begins trying to guess what we’re watching. Choosing to ignore her, we go about our business making an honest attempt to cutback on the cruder stuff as not to offend the over 80 crowd that’s imposed itself upon our good time. I suppose she finally realized that we’re not paying attention to her because she takes the next step and engages one of us in interpersonal dialog, namely me. And guess what the question is… Not “What’s with the tall furry guy” or “What are we watching” or “Can anyone else not hear the TV?” but rather “How long should a car battery usually last?” I shrug, and respond with “Well, depends on how much you drive it, I reckon. If it has some age already on it, and you let it sit, I wouldn’t give it a year of neglect.” “A year?” She exclaims, “That doesn’t sound right. The car’s fairly new, I drive a Toyota and it’s battery has lasted eight years. It’s my friend’s car and she drives a, well, its not a Toyota, but another one of those foreign cars. I would think it would be about the same.” At this point, I realize the mistake I made. Somehow, my syntax wasn’t clear enough for her. So I attempt again, “Well, again, I said, ‘that’s if you let it sit around and do nothing for a year’…” She opens her mouth, I cut her off to finish my sentence. “But if you drive it regularly, and take care of it, I don’t know, four or five years wouldn’t be bad.” She stares at me for a moment with a goofy ass grin on her face while, I hope, processing the provided information. Then she comments, “Well, that doesn’t sound very good, I’ve gotten eight years out of my car battery.” “Well, I guess that’s good too.” I counter, trying like everything to keep up with the witty Wookie banter. “You guess, aren’t you an engineer? Shouldn’t you know how long a battery lasts?” “Well, I did just say four or five years. Its not exactly a certain…” She cuts in, “Don’t you work for [said car company]?” “Yeah, but I’m not an electrical engineer first, I’m mechanical. Second, I don’t work in final assembly, I’m in body weld, where we…” “Well, you must not be much of an engineer not knowing how long a battery will last.” Not much of an engineer, that alone would’ve had some people swinging at her. Instead, I sigh and say, “But I just gave you a good estimate… and as I said, I don’t know a lot about the electrical systems because that’s not where I…” “I just thought that you would know since you’re the car guy in the family.” “But I’m not ‘the car guy’, honestly. I just happen to work at...” Throwing up a hand, she cuts me off. I suppose I’m just glad she gave me warning this time, “Well, my friend took her car to the dealer and they said three to five years was to be expected of a typical battery. I just guess I expected you to know better and give an honest opinion.” And it wasn’t just that she seemed to be calling me out but the way she said it all snide in that forced proper accent of hers… Again, I should’ve hit her, I’m convinced it’d be for the good of the family. But in case I’d be wrong about that I simply shrug, and say, “Well, its not like I’m lying to you, and I doubt the dealership mechanics are either. If they say ‘three to five years’, then I’d bet they’re right.” She stares at me for a while longer in silence, and when I realize that she’s not going to leave, I ask, “Was there anything else?” “No I guess not, nothing that you would be able to answer anyway. Its shame you didn’t learn what I needed to know from your engineering classes.” “Yeah maybe, kinda makes you wonder don’t it? Along the lines of ‘How does someone who has a daughter that works for a dentist have teeth like a derailed freight train?’” …I don’t think she’s gonna talk to me for a while. |
04-20-2009, 11:08 PM | #2 |
Banned
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Cobra Island
Posts: 10,960
|
Ahhhhh old folks. Thank god for nursing homes.
|
bigdaddyblue73 |
View Public Profile |
Find More Posts by bigdaddyblue73 |
04-20-2009, 11:09 PM | #3 |
Gone Fishing
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Playing Outside In B.C. Canada
Posts: 8,615
|
Old people like to do this, makes them feel important again.
__________________
Quote:
|
04-20-2009, 11:11 PM | #4 |
Northern Response
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canadian flat lands
Posts: 1,435
|
LOL! That's a funny story... How old is your cousin's grandmother? Eight year battery life? Yeah maybe if you drive your car like an elderly woman... <he.. he..>
|
04-20-2009, 11:13 PM | #5 |
Banned
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Cobra Island
Posts: 10,960
|
Well ya can't win a fight with an old person. It's mainly cause they ain't got much longer to live and so don't care who they piss off. Most of their enemies are already dead, so if they make a new one it justs gives them something to worry about between episodes of Matlock.
|
bigdaddyblue73 |
View Public Profile |
Find More Posts by bigdaddyblue73 |
04-20-2009, 11:15 PM | #6 |
Banned
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 29,433
|
Old lady called ole Hicks out. You sound like you had a conversation with my mother-in-law. When it all said and done with her.. she's usually pissed at the world and leaves my house extremely mad. Then my wife tries to interfere and then it's back to square one! Yeah.. you shoulda laid her old ass to rest!!! JOKING!
|
The Batman |
View Public Profile |
Find More Posts by The Batman |
04-20-2009, 11:22 PM | #7 |
Smells Lemony
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 10,549
|
I'm pretty sure this woman is just using her age as a sort of force field... she's probably always been this evil, just never as brazen about it.
Hah! Nonsense, we should start producing soylent green, that'll make them important again.* *Hicks Royel appreciates and respects his elders. Its the elders of everyone else that he finds issue with. |
04-20-2009, 11:24 PM | #8 |
Janitor at Extensive Ent
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 2,335
|
Whenever you do not like the subject matter of a conversation or an argument you are engaged in with an elderly person just ask them what a loaf of bread or a gallon of milk cost when they were your age. They can ramble on about that for hours and will totally forget what they were screwing with you about before.
__________________
I love Joes. They are delicious. |
04-20-2009, 11:30 PM | #9 |
Justice Enforcer
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 3,416
|
i wouldnt worry yourself over it. here today rotting tomorrow i always say...not really.... forget a punch SHORYUKEN her face in!!!!!!!!!!
|
04-20-2009, 11:31 PM | #10 |
a series of tubes
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Northern IN
Posts: 5,551
|
I'll blow myself up before I ever get old. There's a bell curve to intelligence, I've noticed.
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Lady Jaye | dcooper | G.I. Joe Buy Sell Trade | 0 | 10-25-2008 05:49 PM |
Looking for a loose Lady Jaye with hat.... | spacemonkeymafia | G.I. Joe Buy Sell Trade | 0 | 08-24-2008 08:18 PM |
Who should play Lady jaye? | delta | G.I. Joe Live Action Movie | 18 | 06-15-2008 07:19 PM |
What's Wrong with Lady Jay? | fett413 | G.I. Joe Toys Modern & General Discussion | 25 | 03-11-2008 01:59 PM |
Lady Jay | xhairs | G.I. Joe Customs Finished Projects | 13 | 10-26-2007 07:21 PM |
|
|
Recent Off Topic Threads |
Hisstank Late Night thread... |
What song are you listening to? |
JazWares 18th Halo |
Star Wars 3 3/4 discussion thread |
Unknown American Defense vehicles |