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03-18-2019, 08:14 PM | #11 |
I just want foam gliders.
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Tooele (two-willa), Utah
Posts: 18,727
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03-18-2019, 10:39 PM | #12 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Val Verde
Posts: 2,345
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The weapons load out stretches credibility, but look up the BD-5 micro jet. If that thing can fly the Firebat is totally air-worthy.
Here’s my list. I’m stopping at 1990, because holy shit, all logic flies out the window at that point, so it’s hardly even fair. I’m also leaving off the tiny cheap crap like the Radar Rat, Tri-Blaster, Hover Craft, etc, and the wind up packs. 1: I know I’m in the minority, but my least favourite vehicles of all time has got to be the HAVOC. Nothing about it makes any damn sense whatsoever. The commander sits in an exposed lawn chair on the top of the already ridiculously tall hull, the main guns are hairdryers with no lateral traverse, the rest of the crew lay prone inside a glass bubble.... the best thing about it is the little hovercraft. 2: Next is the Recon Sled, which was apparently designed under the same drugs as the HAVOC. Again, NOTHING about it makes any damn sense. It’s gotta be hard to reconnoiter anything when the driver can’t even see where he’s going. 3: The SHARC. The idea of a submersible jet is rad, but this thing sucks. It’s about the ugliest plane in the line, the driver is easily the worst pre-1989 figure, he again is laying face down for some reason, it has little air horns instead of guns... ugh. 4: COBRA Surveilance port. It’s ugly, it makes no sense, offers crew protection from one direction only, why is it on jacks?, and the large machine gun probably broke more thumbs than any other G.I. Joe accessory. 5: COBRA Stun. I really want to like this one. It just needs one more wheel. 6: SLAM. Is it supposed to run on train track? Because it looks like it should. Over sized armament, no room for ammo. 7: All the BF2000 vehicles except for the Dominator. 8: Iron Grenadiers DEMON. Nothing makes sense about this thing either. I’d still rather crew this than the HAVOC though.... 9: Triple-T. Maybe this would make sense as an artillery tractor or some other sort of utility vehicle, but not much else. 10: Battle Bunker. It’s a highly armored mobile fortress. Just a mound of impenetrable armor that can shrug off almost any attack. Except, once again, the crew sits in lawn chairs on top of it. Also it needs to open up to fire it’s main weapon, presumably exposing the unarmored internals.
__________________
Needs : AOCI Lamprey Vests, (or similar), ROC Flash helmets, ROC Shipwreck flippers, 25th Dusty Torsos (or similar), BBTS Bull (Taurus) head, Snake Eyes V.52 forearms. Last edited by DerStahlhelm; 03-18-2019 at 10:42 PM.. |
03-18-2019, 11:35 PM | #13 |
Cobra Soldier
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 72
|
The HAVOC and its high-tech lawn chair makes perfect sense when you consider it's driven into battle by a redneck wearing penny loafers. PENNY LOAFERS!!! (I'm from Tennessee and grew up wearing penny loafers, so I guess it's ok to laugh about them now.)
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03-19-2019, 07:58 AM | #14 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 3,026
|
Quote:
The weapons load out stretches credibility, but look up the BD-5 micro jet. If that thing can fly the Firebat is totally air-worthy.
Here’s my list. I’m stopping at 1990, because holy shit, all logic flies out the window at that point, so it’s hardly even fair. I’m also leaving off the tiny cheap crap like the Radar Rat, Tri-Blaster, Hover Craft, etc, and the wind up packs. 1: I know I’m in the minority, but my least favourite vehicles of all time has got to be the HAVOC. Nothing about it makes any damn sense whatsoever. The commander sits in an exposed lawn chair on the top of the already ridiculously tall hull, the main guns are hairdryers with no lateral traverse, the rest of the crew lay prone inside a glass bubble.... the best thing about it is the little hovercraft. 2: Next is the Recon Sled, which was apparently designed under the same drugs as the HAVOC. Again, NOTHING about it makes any damn sense. It’s gotta be hard to reconnoiter anything when the driver can’t even see where he’s going. 3: The SHARC. The idea of a submersible jet is rad, but this thing sucks. It’s about the ugliest plane in the line, the driver is easily the worst pre-1989 figure, he again is laying face down for some reason, it has little air horns instead of guns... ugh. 4: COBRA Surveilance port. It’s ugly, it makes no sense, offers crew protection from one direction only, why is it on jacks?, and the large machine gun probably broke more thumbs than any other G.I. Joe accessory. 5: COBRA Stun. I really want to like this one. It just needs one more wheel. 6: SLAM. Is it supposed to run on train track? Because it looks like it should. Over sized armament, no room for ammo. 7: All the BF2000 vehicles except for the Dominator. 8: Iron Grenadiers DEMON. Nothing makes sense about this thing either. I’d still rather crew this than the HAVOC though.... 9: Triple-T. Maybe this would make sense as an artillery tractor or some other sort of utility vehicle, but not much else. 10: Battle Bunker. It’s a highly armored mobile fortress. Just a mound of impenetrable armor that can shrug off almost any attack. Except, once again, the crew sits in lawn chairs on top of it. Also it needs to open up to fire it’s main weapon, presumably exposing the unarmored internals. Jason |
03-19-2019, 08:34 AM | #15 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 3,026
|
For my list, I will stick to vehicles from '82 till about '87. Actually, I think most vehicles offered in 1987 and onward could fill up this category. And my list is kind of blend of "worst" in the sense of play value and "worst" in the sense real-life application. With the exception of #1, the other vehicles are in no particular order.
1. HAVOC - as others have mentioned, placing Cross Country front and center on an unprotected seat certainly makes him the primary target. In addition to that is the fact that he's supposed to be firing artillery shells from that seat between the barrels - not very safe at all. Plus from a toy point of view, you mean to tell me that someone couldn't design the cockpit for the two figures to actually sit facing forward. I just don't understand the concept of laying the figures face down was - on this and other vehicles. 2. Cobra Hydro Sled - talk about boring as puke! Didn't GIJoe have one of these as an accessory to the Killer WHALE? I'm sure that's where the idea for the Hydro Sled came from. Plus this is another vehicle that you have the lay the figures face down. 3. MANTA - Now, from a toy perspective, I really like this vehicle. I like that it was a mail-order only vehicle too. So if you had one as a kid, you were really cool! However, as a practical military vehicle this just doesn't work. "Let's mount a machine gun to the sail!" 4. Falcon/Viper Gider - as a toy this was fun, for a little while. The styrofoam design meant that it was too easy to break though. I can't count the number of times I traced my broken Falcon glider onto cardboard and cut out a new pattern. 5. Cobra STUN - I never got this vehicle. It's supposed to look like a racing trike? Again, open cockpit designs just aren't practical in real-life. 6. LCV Recon Sled - another "face down" vehicle, and then there was the issue of how this thing drove. Doesn't the commercial show them standing up? It was a lame design and Hasbro was really starting to struggle here. 7. JUMP - ok I know people are going to disagree, but let's get real, it's an overpriced (and overused) backpack. The launch pad was kind of superfluous. The only thing the 1983 set had going for it was Grand Slam. "Silver" Grand Slam was sort of the "Blue Snaggletooth" of GIJoe back then. 8. SHARC - as a toy the way it was designed really sucks. Not only is the cockpit just bland - another "Facedown" toy - but the action figure that came with it sucks. Now, I like the concept of the SHARC and with a different cockpit where a figure can be seated forward, this vehicle would be a lot better. 9. Cobra Flight Pod - I liked this as toy, but even as a kid it didn't make any sense to me. How did the thing move forward or backwards? Did the pilot have to angle the jet pack device in such a way that the pod just about faced downwards? 10. Cobra MAMBA - I know a lot of people will disagree with this one. Let's face it, most of the 1987 vehicles just suck. I mean we got a car/tow dolly with a gun! But I wanted to pick a 1987 vehicle that isn't so obvious. To me, the MAMBA is a terrible design. Those wacky twin rotors and the detachable pods that look more like speed boats? I mean, even the tail makes this thing look more like a water craft. Anyway, there is my list. I've enjoyed this thread! Jason |
03-19-2019, 10:00 AM | #16 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Val Verde
Posts: 2,345
|
I could see the STUN working as a Fast Attack Vehicle equivalent to the AWE Striker. Just give it a fourth wheel, eliminate the split hull feature. Put a ring mounted MG where the driver’s seat is, and move the driver to one of the front seats.
See, if you redesign the entire thing it’s really perfect!
__________________
Needs : AOCI Lamprey Vests, (or similar), ROC Flash helmets, ROC Shipwreck flippers, 25th Dusty Torsos (or similar), BBTS Bull (Taurus) head, Snake Eyes V.52 forearms. |
03-19-2019, 03:25 PM | #17 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Fredericksburg, VA
Posts: 2,038
|
I wonder if the designers drove convertibles every day.
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Feedback: http://www.hisstank.com/forum/buy-se...ck-thread.html Trade List(s): http://www.hisstank.com/forum/g-i-jo...rade-list.html http://www.hisstank.com/forum/kre-o-...ml#post4624432 |
03-19-2019, 04:08 PM | #18 |
just a Marine
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: central PA
Posts: 1,681
|
Quote:
The weapons load out stretches credibility, but look up the BD-5 micro jet. If that thing can fly the Firebat is totally air-worthy.
Here’s my list. I’m stopping at 1990, because holy shit, all logic flies out the window at that point, so it’s hardly even fair. I’m also leaving off the tiny cheap crap like the Radar Rat, Tri-Blaster, Hover Craft, etc, and the wind up packs. 1: I know I’m in the minority, but my least favourite vehicles of all time has got to be the HAVOC. Nothing about it makes any damn sense whatsoever. The commander sits in an exposed lawn chair on the top of the already ridiculously tall hull, the main guns are hairdryers with no lateral traverse, the rest of the crew lay prone inside a glass bubble.... the best thing about it is the little hovercraft. 2: Next is the Recon Sled, which was apparently designed under the same drugs as the HAVOC. Again, NOTHING about it makes any damn sense. It’s gotta be hard to reconnoiter anything when the driver can’t even see where he’s going. 3: The SHARC. The idea of a submersible jet is rad, but this thing sucks. It’s about the ugliest plane in the line, the driver is easily the worst pre-1989 figure, he again is laying face down for some reason, it has little air horns instead of guns... ugh. 4: COBRA Surveilance port. It’s ugly, it makes no sense, offers crew protection from one direction only, why is it on jacks?, and the large machine gun probably broke more thumbs than any other G.I. Joe accessory. 5: COBRA Stun. I really want to like this one. It just needs one more wheel. 6: SLAM. Is it supposed to run on train track? Because it looks like it should. Over sized armament, no room for ammo. 7: All the BF2000 vehicles except for the Dominator. 8: Iron Grenadiers DEMON. Nothing makes sense about this thing either. I’d still rather crew this than the HAVOC though.... 9: Triple-T. Maybe this would make sense as an artillery tractor or some other sort of utility vehicle, but not much else. 10: Battle Bunker. It’s a highly armored mobile fortress. Just a mound of impenetrable armor that can shrug off almost any attack. Except, once again, the crew sits in lawn chairs on top of it. Also it needs to open up to fire it’s main weapon, presumably exposing the unarmored internals. |
03-19-2019, 04:15 PM | #19 |
just a Marine
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: central PA
Posts: 1,681
|
Quote:
For my list, I will stick to vehicles from '82 till about '87. Actually, I think most vehicles offered in 1987 and onward could fill up this category. And my list is kind of blend of "worst" in the sense of play value and "worst" in the sense real-life application. With the exception of #1, the other vehicles are in no particular order.
1. HAVOC - as others have mentioned, placing Cross Country front and center on an unprotected seat certainly makes him the primary target. In addition to that is the fact that he's supposed to be firing artillery shells from that seat between the barrels - not very safe at all. Plus from a toy point of view, you mean to tell me that someone couldn't design the cockpit for the two figures to actually sit facing forward. I just don't understand the concept of laying the figures face down was - on this and other vehicles. 2. Cobra Hydro Sled - talk about boring as puke! Didn't GIJoe have one of these as an accessory to the Killer WHALE? I'm sure that's where the idea for the Hydro Sled came from. Plus this is another vehicle that you have the lay the figures face down. 3. MANTA - Now, from a toy perspective, I really like this vehicle. I like that it was a mail-order only vehicle too. So if you had one as a kid, you were really cool! However, as a practical military vehicle this just doesn't work. "Let's mount a machine gun to the sail!" 4. Falcon/Viper Gider - as a toy this was fun, for a little while. The styrofoam design meant that it was too easy to break though. I can't count the number of times I traced my broken Falcon glider onto cardboard and cut out a new pattern. 5. Cobra STUN - I never got this vehicle. It's supposed to look like a racing trike? Again, open cockpit designs just aren't practical in real-life. 6. LCV Recon Sled - another "face down" vehicle, and then there was the issue of how this thing drove. Doesn't the commercial show them standing up? It was a lame design and Hasbro was really starting to struggle here. 7. JUMP - ok I know people are going to disagree, but let's get real, it's an overpriced (and overused) backpack. The launch pad was kind of superfluous. The only thing the 1983 set had going for it was Grand Slam. "Silver" Grand Slam was sort of the "Blue Snaggletooth" of GIJoe back then. 8. SHARC - as a toy the way it was designed really sucks. Not only is the cockpit just bland - another "Facedown" toy - but the action figure that came with it sucks. Now, I like the concept of the SHARC and with a different cockpit where a figure can be seated forward, this vehicle would be a lot better. 9. Cobra Flight Pod - I liked this as toy, but even as a kid it didn't make any sense to me. How did the thing move forward or backwards? Did the pilot have to angle the jet pack device in such a way that the pod just about faced downwards? 10. Cobra MAMBA - I know a lot of people will disagree with this one. Let's face it, most of the 1987 vehicles just suck. I mean we got a car/tow dolly with a gun! But I wanted to pick a 1987 vehicle that isn't so obvious. To me, the MAMBA is a terrible design. Those wacky twin rotors and the detachable pods that look more like speed boats? I mean, even the tail makes this thing look more like a water craft. Anyway, there is my list. I've enjoyed this thread! Jason I agree 100% on the rest. I almost put the JUMP on my list, but figured people would flip out. My objection is that IRL, these jet packs get you about 60 seconds powered flight at most. I guess a trooper could shoot up in the air to clear trees or a ridgeline to do a bit of recon, but no way could they "dog fight" or fly somewhere. Same with the flight pods. Didn't they have rudders of a sort? I figured they only went up/down and forward/left/right with flaps or rudders, but no backwards. |
03-19-2019, 04:19 PM | #20 |
just a Marine
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: central PA
Posts: 1,681
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Quote:
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