|08-10-2009, 07:03 PM||#201|
Join Date: Nov 2008
*******WARNING: NEGATIVITY AHEAD*****
The whole movie reminded me of a live action Sunbow episode from the eighties (Not necasarilly a good thing. As an adult I can't believe I dug that crap as a kid!) But kinda cool none the less.
What I didn't like
-Duke and 'Ana' being an item
-Anastasia being American
- Breaker being homosexual
-CC and 'Ana' being brother and sister
-Marlon and the comic relief
-Apparently Snakes is the only Joe who does not require an Accelarator Suit.
-Stormy and Snakes backstory was stupid
-The transforming APV during the Paris pursuit - I vomited a little in my mouth when I saw that.
-Scarlett just seemed to get dumber as the movie progressed. I saw better acting in Legally Blonde.
-The Sharcs were ugly
-Duke came off as a wimpy douche - Come on! You come back from War and you can't even face your wife.
-Dr. Mindbender came off as some weasely hippy tripping on LSD.
-When the nanamites take over Destro's head you clearly see that his mouth his able to move, lips, tounge, teeth and all. The next scene clearly shows a mask that is completely fixed that is more representative of the classic Destro. For such an important event during the movie it's execution was sub-par and it was less than b-grade quality.
-Accelarator Suits are dumb.
-G.I. Joe is supposed to be the best of the best. Duke and Ripcord did more damage to Paris than the stinking nanomites.
-The 40 year old idiot that sat in front of me and actually thought he new something about G.I. Joe.
|08-10-2009, 07:56 PM||#202|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: blasdell, ny near buffalo
welcome to the club.
yes save your memories. i would buy the dvd box set. i have been watching them to get rid of roc with drinking heavily lol. the box set is great alot of eps i forgot about that where real good and others well i can skip lol. thought it was well worth the cash.
Last edited by xhairs; 08-10-2009 at 07:59 PM..
|08-10-2009, 08:07 PM||#203|
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The parade grounds of electric dreams
Regarding the "cute scarlett" - that's exactly what my wife said when we were leaving the theater.
Me: "What did you think?"
Wife: "Hm... Scarlett was cute."
Me: "Yeah. But the movie sucked."
We went home and put on the MASS device series while having dinner. Cleared the mind and got ourselves right with The Joe. (In case you missed it, my wife rocks, and she's way cuter than Scarlett!)
|08-10-2009, 08:15 PM||#204|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: blasdell, ny near buffalo
|08-10-2009, 08:38 PM||#205|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Northern California
Wife: Don't forget to pick up your toys after you're done playing.
Me: They're not toys - they're miniture military collectibles!
|08-10-2009, 08:41 PM||#206|
Janitor at Extensive Ent
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
I love Joes. They are delicious.
|08-10-2009, 08:45 PM||#207|
Join Date: Jul 2008
gi joe or new gi joe whatever... as a movie it was just AwFUL.
|08-10-2009, 08:46 PM||#208|
Warrior Of Bad Taste
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Cape Fear Zoo
or the fans and hasbro?
Punk rock, Horror movies,Hasbro, and MY SENSE OF HUMOR ruined my life.
Wanted: Vintage Joes, Punk records and G1 Transformers.
|08-10-2009, 09:09 PM||#209|
Join Date: Aug 2009
I... I really tried my strategy from Wolverine with this. I loved that movie because I took the bar <i>down</i> and slid it under my bed. I paid no attention to the internet or ads (not that they played here) and did well doing that.
I JUST got back from Joe and I was... disappointed. Didn't hate it, pft, no. But the CGI was so... distracting from the absolute awesomeness that was the Neo Viper attacks. Too many pointless flashbacks, though I loved the timing on the transport flashes. Cobra? Holy crap guys! Why were so many people oohin and aahing about "channeling Latta"? He NEVER sounded like Latta, he never had the, eh, charm maybe? of Latta, but as REX, he was a good character. Just make him Rex.
Also distracting? Don't frickin' name everyone in the movie by their codename when you are just throwing their name out there, ok? The Mindbender thing? Yeah, it was a cool scene. Frickin' creepy guy! Don't have Rex call him Dr. Mindbender! Call him by his actual name or anything but a COBRA organization codename that doesn't exist in this continuity. Duke? Ripcord? Why? Does everyone in the military go by a call sign nowadays? Why use Hauser ever if his normal name is just Duke now?
Anyway, yes, it was good, but it felt like a clip show or split episode thing like the Hasbro videos. Not the whole movie, just parts that slowed down the whole.
|08-10-2009, 10:33 PM||#210|
Join Date: May 2009
Location: The Hidden Nebula
A follow-up to the review I posted yesterday (which I just put up on my blog).
"Female Depowerment in 'G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra'"
Between 1982 and 1994, Hasbro created nearly 300 unique characters for its "G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero" toyline. Only six of them were women. Yet, some of those six are among the line's most popular and enduring characters.
Last weekend, three of the six made the jump to the big screen in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra... Those three were Scarlett, intelligence agent and martial arts expert; Cover Girl, fashion model-turned-tank driver; and Cobra's fearsome femme fatale, The Baroness. (Just for the record, the other three were Lady Jaye, linguist and covert ops specialist; Zarana, sister of Cobra's top disguise artist, Zartan, and second-in-command of his biker gang, the Dreadnoks; and Jinx, teenaged ninja and cousin of former Cobra assassin, Storm Shadow.)
While profiling the Rise of Cobra cast members over the last couple of weeks, I noticed a consistent pattern in the filmmakers' treatment of female characters. I put off discussing it until now for two reasons. First, I was basing my conclusions on the version of the script completed on the eve of the 2007 Writers' Strike. I thought I should at least wait to see how much of that script made it into the movie. Second, I didn't want to give out a bunch of spoilers before the movie opened.
So, just to be clear, there are spoilers ahead.
Now, I'm not some post-feminist Alan Alda-type who pisses sitting down and hates his own Y-chromosome - nor do I have any tolerance for "men" who are - but as a lifelong G.I. Joe fan, I've always felt a certain pride in the fact that the women of the "Real American Hero" toyline were portrayed as strong, capable, and independent. Larry Hama, the writer of the Marvel Comics series and co-creator of many of the G.I. Joe characters, made sure that Scarlett and the rest were more than token females, eye candy, or damsels-in-distress.
But in adapting Scarlett, Cover Girl, and The Baroness for Rise of Cobra, the filmmakers systematically stripped them of their strongest, most distinctive traits and placed them in diminished or subservient roles.
Scarlett was portrayed in the comics as a tough professional soldier, more than a match for her male teammates. In my profile of Scarlett, I excerpted what I consider the character's formative tale, from the first issue of the comic book series. Wounded and pinned down while leading a small team of Joes on a mission in the Middle East, Scarlett resolves to stay behind and hold off the enemy - For Whom the Bell Tolls-style - while her teammates escape. She even goes so far as to threaten a Joe who suggests abandoning the mission to save her.
In Rise of Cobra, Scarlett has been reimagined as a redheaded Lt. Saavik. She's still a capable martial artist (within the cartoonish physics of the world in which the film is set), but she's been written as an overachieving genius who is underdeveloped socially and has shut herself off from her emotions. (She warms up a bit by the end, of course, which is the boilerplate story arc for a character of her type.)
In the comics, Scarlett was always partnered with Snake-Eyes, the Joes' commando/ninja and the breakout star of the toyline. In the animated series, on the other hand, Scarlett seemed to be romancing team leader Duke. But in Rise of Cobra, she's not involved with either of them. Instead, she succumbs to the charms of Duke's comedy relief sidekick, Ripcord. So she's traded down from the alpha males to the team jackass.
It could've been worse, though. In the original script, Scarlett came off as more childlike than in the finished product. In one especially cringe-worthy scene, we were party to a conversation about her intact virginity. Nice.
Cover Girl was never featured very prominently in the comics or the cartoons, and she doesn't make much of an impression in Rise of Cobra, either. In fact, I don't recall hearing anyone address her by name. In the toyline, as I previously described her, she was a former fashion model who decided to do something useful with her life, so she joined the army and learned to drive a tank.
Maybe that's not a plausible backstory, but at least she was someone girls could look up to. In Rise of Cobra, on the other hand, she appears to be little more than a secretary to the Joes' commander, Hawk. She's been demoted from driving a tank to making copies and pouring coffee.
During an assault on the Joes' underground headquarters, we see several nameless peons die, but Cover Girl's the only Joe from the original toyline who gets killed in the movie. She's murdered by the Cobra agent Zartan for no other reason than to demonstrate to the audience what a cold-blooded creep he is. Appropriately, he impales her.
This may have been intended as some kind of "Woman in Refrigerator" moment, where the violent death of a female character is used as a plot device to motivate the men folk. But I don't recall ever hearing her mentioned again.
No one was more degraded in Rise of Cobra than The Baroness (who I discussed in great detail previously). Born to European aristocrats, she began her career as a terrorist of the Baader-Meinhof variety before acquiring a position of authority in Cobra. Ruthless, calculating, and trigger-happy, The Baroness was one of the Joes' deadliest enemies. And while she was romantically linked to Cobra's arms supplier, the Scottish laird Destro, she retained her independence, making and breaking alliances with whichever Cobra leader could help her further her own ambitions. Plus, she looked like this: [Adam Hughes pic inserted]
How was this veritable force of nature adapted for the big screen in Rise of Cobra? She was reimagined as an unremarkable blonde American named Ana Lewis, engaged to future G.I. Joe Team member Duke. Her brother, Rex, was a military scientist who went MIA, only to resurface years later as the Cobra Commander. Following her brother's apparent death, Ana's relationship with Duke fell apart.
Rise of Cobra picks up four years later. During that time, Ana dyed her hair black, raided Julie Newmar's Catwoman wardrobe, married a scientifically-inclined French baron (apparently for no other reason than to gain access to his lab), and became involved with Destro.
But she's not really evil. As we learn at the end of the film, she's spent the last four years under the influence of mind-controlling nanotechnology developed by her brother. The spell is broken by flashbacks of all the good lovin' Duke gave her long ago. She promptly switches sides and helps Duke round up her brother and (now former) boyfriend.
So here we have one of the great villainesses of modern pop culture reduced to the role of a mindless drove, pimped out to powerful European men by her own brother until she's "saved" by the love of her thuggish ex.
And there you have it. That's 3-for-3. Scarlett, the soldier, is recast as an idiot savant. Cover Girl, the tank driver, goes from the battlefield to the office break room. The Baroness, the deadly femme fatale, is reduced to a zombie cumsock.
There are G.I. Joe "fans" out there who try to justify the way the filmmakers pissed all over the source material by arguing that Rise of Cobra is a "new" G.I. Joe for a younger generation of fans. Well, this isn't the G.I. Joe I'd want my daughters growing up with.
|Thread||Thread Starter||Forum||Replies||Last Post|
|For the people who did like the new G.I. Joe: RoC movie sign here!||Sweetstick99||G.I. Joe Live Action Movie||457||01-31-2011 03:10 PM|
|Custom of my most hated Joe||cyclonus8||G.I. Joe Customs Finished Projects||7||05-22-2009 12:12 AM|
|New Movie Figure Images on People.com||FallenPrey||G.I. Joe News and Rumors||113||02-13-2009 12:19 AM|
|most hated modern era figure...||MLos1||G.I. Joe Toys Modern & General Discussion||63||09-02-2008 04:00 AM|
|People w/High Expectations of The Movie.........||Sysiss||G.I. Joe Live Action Movie||47||01-21-2008 02:30 AM|
|Eagle Force returns|
|New York G.I. Joe Sightings|
|Hisstank RPG Game Forum/ Battlefield.|
|Terminator Plasma Rifle by Foxtrot Delta|
|Origin of zombie vipers|
|The 458th Greatest G.I. Joe Character of all Time!|
|POLL: What is the 227th greatest G.I. Joe vehicle or...|
|Are you happy with the amount of figures released in...|
|FSS 2017 13TH Figure Guesses|
|New G.I.Joe 50th 2016 Assortment Discussion Thread|
|Outback, Falcon, and OG13 Scarlett|
|G.I. Joe 50th Anniversary Stiletto Photo Shoot|
|Doc and Lifeline|
|Arkansas G.I. Joe Sightings|
|Is ARAH coming to an end?|
|IDW G.I. Joe Comic Book Sales Figures - Read Order|
|Official G.I. Joe Command Team Recruiting Thread|
|Best figure poll 2016 retail release|
|Virginia G.I. Joe Sightings|
|Duke and Tombstone 2 pack|
|Announcing Chicken Fried Toys Dime Novel Legends...|
|Gi Joe Modern Era Upper Hip Gap|
|Illinois G.I. Joe Sightings|
|Maryland G.I. Joe Sightings|
|Takara Tony's Retro Toy Meet|
|Recent Off Topic Threads|
|The CORPS Megathread|
|Power Team Elite And True Heroes Discussion Thread|
|Anyone using Game of Thrones Ghost (Wolf) for Timber?|
|Transformers Masterpiece Thread V2: A New...|
|Recent B/S/T Threads|
|Toys for sale(some SDCC/Con exclusives)|
|Yojoe77 bst list|
|Postage Increasing for Parcels again in 2017|
|My Custom Baron Bloodclott|
|Un_Chakal's B/S/T A lot here...|
|POC Cobra Commander Test Shot w/ Hasbro Build Sheet|
|FS: 2009 Movie Cobra Commander w/ Hoses|
|Cobra Commander PaintMaster on eBay|