|08-07-2009, 07:44 AM||#41|
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Columbus, Ohio
I liked it as a movie, sad because I wished the origin of Snake Eyes & Storm Shadow stayed true to the comics. Plenty of action, never a dull moment, and obviously left for a sequel and or prequel. Anyone who wants to see an action based movie with plenty of special effects will love this movie.
I wish Marlon Wayes was casted as Stalker instead, I did like him in the movie and was often humorous at times. Of course the question why did they have to change who Breaker was? Not the same boy from Tenn? Why a romance between Duke & The Baroness? I didn't like the end result of the Baroness. I didn't like how this Cobra Commander has his new mask. Again, it is because I really wanted it to stick as close to the comics as possible. I understand they couldn't link to Vietnam and that is acceptable.
The Pitt was awesome!! The Cobra undersea hideout reminded me of the early comics (I believe #8). It was nice to see characters like Dr. Mindbender in the movie. I wasn't sure if the helicopter pilot was Wild Bill or not, Duke did mention his name as Bill though. Zartan was GREAT in the movie!! The battle scenes between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were great! I also loved the flashbacks from the various characters. Loved Destro's character and the USS Flagg was nice.
Great movie over all only die hard comic fans will be a little saddened but hey finally a live action GI Joe Movie!!!
P.S. I stayed to see if there was anything at the end credits, and sadly no.
My G.I. Joe Collection
Stop motion G.I. Joe
Last edited by mrkenn; 08-07-2009 at 07:48 AM..
|08-07-2009, 07:47 AM||#42|
Join Date: Jul 2008
Did anyone else notice when Duke was in "The Doctor's" lab in the MARS underwater base on the operation bed/table and The Doctor was explaining everything that The Doctor said something like the nanomites have the ability to make "techno punks" or "techno rockers" or "techno bikers" or something to that effect that was obviously refferring to the dreadnocks??? Am I the only one that caught that or am I just the only one that's mentioned it so far?
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|08-07-2009, 07:49 AM||#43|
Join Date: Feb 2009
i thought those scenes were cut from the european version. i gather not so then
|08-07-2009, 08:05 AM||#44|
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: North West England
I'm really disappointed that the "what did you say your unit was called" line is missing, as it's a neat early dance from two characters who don't trust each other and are measuring each other up. Kind of like that moment in a COLUMBO episode when the murderer suddenly realises that Columbo knows he/she did it...
The cynic in me thinks that these things get cut out (from all films) simply to make a DVD 'special edition'.
-----------------There's no shame in being a pariah-----------------
|08-07-2009, 08:06 AM||#45|
Join Date: Mar 2008
|08-07-2009, 08:31 AM||#46|
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Trinidad and Tobago
I knew I recognized that name from somewhere
|08-07-2009, 08:33 AM||#47|
Join Date: Apr 2009
now keep in mind before you read this, that I do NOT attack this film
as a GI JOE film... just a film in general. so don't try pigeonhole-ing me
into some sort of 'ROC killed my childhood' category.
I have absolutely so much to say about this movie. It is REALLY hard to say anything at all without drenching it in spoilers. That is the first sign that there is something profoundly unkempt about the execution of this film, or any film, really. And THAT is a mere...commencement ...of a long list of flaws that really drain the pillars that were already in place to keep a movie like this from wreaking havoc on itself (i.e. decades of history, merchandise, and
decades of Tankers if you will).
What I CAN say without erupting in spoilage of plot or depth (I use the word 'depth' extremely lightly)... is the following:
The special effects in this film are basically an atrocity. This is 2009.
I don't need to invoke 'The Matrix,' or 'Jurassic Park' as examples of
films that have come before 'Rise of Cobra,' in which the special effects
veritably floated those films. I don't need to invoke those films because
in 1985 there was a little film called 'Fright Night,' which to this day...
(and despite being a dark comedy spindled on tongue'n'cheek-isms a la
Gremlins) ...boasts really wonderful special effects. NINETEEN EIGHTY FIVE. What else were we given in 1985... (taps chin)... AH YES... a tiny
little movie called 'Back To The Future,' in which at the end of the film,
a Delorean takes flight down a neighborhood street. OMGFHGHNGUT that
looks so fake now....... okay but that was 1985 and a 14 million dollar budget. How the hell almost 25 years later, am I sitting in a movie theater
under a cap of 170 million dollars, and I'm watching a film where the special effects would look at home on my SEGA CD system. An exaggeration? Perhaps. Of course. But not nearly as much of an exaggeration as to say that these are special effects on par with the last five years of movie making. Hell, the last ten. I expect special effects like these from Sci-Fi Channel original programming. NOT a summer blockbuster.
Which brings me to my next point:
This film was NOT epic. Not in the least. In speculation, in scope, as I'm sure it looked epic on the page, the film's pace and cinematography were so bumbling, that I wanted to call 'cut.' This was a poorly paced film. And it's arrangement and shot choices were even poorer. Not even Lucas' prequels were shot this bad. And 99% of those environments were not even there.
Which brings me to the acting (thanks for the juncture, Lucas):
I think Marlon Wayans at one point actually out-acts any of the other performers. It was as if all they did was shoot the read through's in
full costume. There are a few 'dramatic' moments where I thought
Channing was trying to hold back laughter. I mean it was THAT campy
and THAT forced (circa a certain Hayden Christensen). Which, to be fair,
falls a LOT on the director. The killer... the big poisonous stinger...
is that Channing and Wayans had NO chemistry. They were far from
Maverick and Goose, farther from Han and Chewy, and light years away
from Vega and Winnfield. Their relationship... (Wayans and Channing)
is SUPPOSED to be like every other archetype in any other story or film.
Like R2 and 3P0... the lens which we see a new world through. Our guides
through the events as they unfold before the characters AND the audience.
That symbio-tism was AWOL. It wasn't even cliche. At least I believe Will Smith and Martin Lawrence had history and alliance.
WHICH brings me to some minor spoiling... SPOILER ALERT
I saw no indication that the Joes and 'Cobra' had much history.
So why was Scarlett runnin around calling Storm Shadow ...'Storm Shadow.' Ok yeah maybe one night after some really quiet sex,
Snake Eyes was all on the braille board and Scarlett was all "oh you have a brother named Storm Shadow?" WHICH brings me to another point...
what the hell is this ... the XMEN??? Baroness' ex fiance is Duke... her brother is Cobra Commander... her lover is Destro... Duke and Rex were in the same unit with Ripcord... Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes are brothers... I mean yes some of this is close to GI JOE history... but when everyone on one side of the coin is related to everyone on the other side
of the coin... it really drowns out the rest of the world. I was waiting for
Heavy Duty to introduce his under developed siamese twin Roadblock (who works for Cobra).
OKAY LET THE SPOILERS BEGIN
first of all... an example as to how un-epic this was...
Destro's face is taken out by a flame... just a flame... if you're goin for blockbuster epic... if you want me to care about Destro's face...
accident with power tools is never the way to go. Then having him weeping in the escape 'sub' about now being part of the 'clan' as it were...
and then going 'what have you done to me'.... bi-polar much? you've either embraced the legacy or you haven't. Itz not like he was betrayed
really... I mean Rexy DID save his face... kinda. But why did Rexy have
that ready for him...... itz not like he coulda known that this was going to happen... and it was a pretty tiny purse CC was carryin around. Convenient to have the whole 'chrome dome in a can' just lyin around.
Neo Vipers. OKAY... I saw this before... it was called X-Files and they
were alien soldiers who felt no fear or pain and were almost impossible to kill. OKAY... why were all the eels running around calling the Joes 'JOES???' did I miss the part where they know who GI JOE is... am I supposed to assume there was a briefing where Destro tells them about GI JOE?
cuz in the previews he's all "what did you say your unit was called"....
funny how that scene is NOT in the movie... so my complaint is this...
if you're gonna take us back in time to give us back story on the McCullens... where is the back story for GI JOE getting involved with McCullen.... if he created the JOE technology then yeah he would know
who they are... but CC and the Vipers were all 'JOE this and JOES that and kill the Joes and let's get those Joes pregnant' etc etc.
Minor detail, that whole exposition thing.
OKAY... so there's a bunch of Joes standing around in the PIT..... and
a tiny coterie of Joes on the missions.... huh?? no no ... let's not get the job done or anything. I understand the need to be discreet... (ie. running through the streets in accelerator suits and dodging missiles and ramming cars etc... ahem)..... but once the cat is out of the bag... or I dunno maybe you're under the polar ice caps... let's just send in a small group of people... you guys in the blue camo can just stand around and then count yourselves amongst the largest group of poor-acting extras ever to grace a screen.
AND OH MY GHANDI... do accelerator suits also accelerate your healing...
cuz seriously I thought I was watching Wolverine the way Scarlett took
that beating and then a few hours later is all fixed up. Kinda like Hawk
ditching the wheel chair for a cane and then poof... he's all better... good
thing Storm Shadow doesn't kill women. Er... wait. why was Hawk spared?
So was the film all bad? Close. I thought Vosloo was good. I don't see him as 'Zartan' cuz honestly he'd make a much better Firefly... Vosloo played it cool and hardcore. The accelerator suits didn't bother me because the 4 hour Paris pursuit is what bothered me. The fact that the only two people sent in for the Paris pursuit were the two people who
had never used them before (yo joe).... that scene was just... long and pointless. IF THE F*********IN NANITES DON'T STOP EATING UNLESS DEACTIVATED YOU DON'T NEED TO AIM THEM AT ANYTHING HOLY CHRIST
IN A BUCKET OF OF STAINED GLASS TOAST. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.... JUST FRIGGIN ARM THEM AND FIRE THEM AND RUN. YOU DON'T NEED TO TAKE ANYTHING MAJOR DOWN... THE DAMN NANITES WILL GET THERE EVENTUALLY... YOU HAVE A BRIEFCASE OF WARHEADS... OH YEAH WE'VE ARMED THEM... UH OH BETTER SPEND A THIRD OF THE FILM DRIVING THROUGH FRANCE TO AIM IT AT SOMETHING HIGH SO THAT IT TAKES THE LONGEST TIME POSSIBLE TO DRIZZLE DOWN INTO THE STREETS BELOW WHERE IT DOES THE MOST DAMAGE... OH WAIT... ONE WARHEAD AT A TIME... AND HERE WHY DON'T YOU WEAR THE KILL SWITCH ON YOUR BELT ... CAREFUL THE SHUT OFF BUTTON IS REALLY BIG AND OBVIOUS... GOOD THING NO ONE CHASING US IS WEARING AN ACCELERATOR SUIT.
oh and don't be surprised if Baron Cobray comes back as Serpentor to
get revenge on the Baroness for betraying him. If he's so fancy schmancy that he can weaponize the nanite warheads.... chances are he found a way
to utilize them secretly to save his own ass. WHY ELSE WOULD HE HAVE THE NAME COBRAY.... cuz if itz merely as one of the many stupid easter eggs ("you're an ace") strewn throughout the film.... well... then I give up.
and one last thing before I hit submit reply....
this movie was not fun. no pace, scruffy story, seemingly unfinished special effects, and Storm Shadow the waitstaff matador... equals
And before I get flamed with 'it's not supposed to be an oscar this or serious that....' let me remind you that it can still aim to FUNCTION
as something worth my time and money and it doesn't need to vie for
an oscar or best screenplay ever. You can have a solid action film
... a really amazing blockbuster movie... that ignites you and inspires
you and takes the time to involve you... it can spiral with verve and
edge and it can be epic and still basic...... this film delivered none of that.
Instead it gave us all of our favorite or decent or at least bearable blockbuster movies The Matrix, Star Wars, Robocop, Lethal Weapon, Top Gun, X-Files, Men In Black, Transformers.... and crammed it all into
something trapped within itself... cursed forever to wear a mask of
condemnation upon its face... not unlike a McCullen.
|08-07-2009, 08:34 AM||#48|
Join Date: Jun 2008
This is a message for all those who believed in ROC from the start: you were right!
Even though the story/costumes/vehicles have nothing to do with Larry Hama's Comics or Sunbow's cartoon the adaptation is awesome.
The film offers almost two hours of pure action and cool gags (the ones you have already mention), I even like Ripocord and the Delta-6 Accelerator Suits and that is much to say.
Overall, it's a great movie despite some awful CGIs like the Apaches in the first part of the movie.
I'll watch it again next week
|08-07-2009, 08:50 AM||#49|
Join Date: Jul 2008
|08-07-2009, 08:51 AM||#50|
Join Date: Mar 2008
Ripcord refers to Duke as not being born but being 'Government Issue'... which is, of course, what GI stands for...
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