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08-07-2009, 12:52 PM | #1 |
Banned
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Atlantic City, NJ
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*** WARINING: SPOILERS***
I just walked in the door after seeing the midnight showing of GI Joe: Rise of Cobra and all I can taste is bitter disappointment. I arrived at our local Regal multiplex around 10:30 escorted by my girl who was the perfect arm candy for the night. She was sporting her black vinyl Cobra catsuit and was in her full Baroness splendor. Little did she know that by the end of the film she'd be embarrassed to be seen in the get-up because the character she loved and idolized has been rethought, revamped and ruined. The theater was barely packed and I was probably one of three guys there old enough to have played with ARAH era Joes when they were on the shelves. It looks like Paramount's demographic for the film was urban hip hop kids because that's who showed up. I could tell hardly anybody got the few "in" jokes that were thrown out for us "old school" fans. Yes, we got a few nods from the film makers, and they made me happy, but they failed to give me as nostalgic a feeling as say Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime saying "One shall stand, one shall fall..." And believe me, I am and was a much bigger Joe fan than Transformers fan. Growing up as a single child in the '80s, and being raised by my Vietnam veteran father, GI Joe became a part of me in a way. It was my best friend. It was my summer days. It was my first passion before I knew about being passionate about anything. All this has been on my mind in the last year leading up to the new movie. I was at first so excited when news broke that the movie was going to be made. Then as trailers, story and footage started being released I began to feel doubtful and negative and almost embarrassed. Finally in the last couple of weeks I started to open my mind to Rise of Cobra. I told myself that it didn't have to be exactly the GI Joe I remember. That I could enjoy the movie as long as the spirit remained the same. And for the first half of the film I did just that. I enjoyed it. It was whacky and fun and had stupid futuristic weapons... just like the Sunbow cartoons. Sure Snake Eyes mouth bothered the hell out of me, as did Breaker's face and Destro's height. But I could live with all this. Heck, I could even live with the messed up version of Storm Shadow's and Snake Eyes' backstory. But the one thing that just completely took me out of this movie was the love story between Duke and The Baroness. Actually to be more specific, the past love didn't even bother me that much, it was how The Baroness ended up being a good guy in the end! What? Why? It just felt so stupid and unnecessary. It made me angry how rewritten the character has become. She is bad because of implanted nano-mites!? It would have been a much better film to me if she hadn't redeemed herself in the end. With any hope she will re-redeem herself in the next film and rejoin her Cobra family (literally). Otherwise Rise Of Cobra was what I expected it to be. Big and Cheesy. The action was fun and exciting and way way over the top and I'm sure kids are going to love it. Even the often lambasted Accelerator Suits were okay. I kinda wish I could see this flick through the eyes of a twelve year old, not a skeptical and opinionated thirty four year old wishing he were still twelve. |
Cold Slither |
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08-07-2009, 01:00 PM | #2 |
#voteblackjack
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Northwood, NH
Posts: 35,754
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See, this is a good review. Thought out, well written, and gets the points across without the "this suxxor" attitude.
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08-07-2009, 01:19 PM | #3 |
Cobra Viper
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 159
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I could not agree with you more Cold Slither. Especially regarding the Barnoness's character. While my wife and I did not attend the midnight showing in costume, we have both began working on our halloween costumes of Storm Shadow and Baroness respectively. However, after watching the movie last night, my wife expressed her reservations on continuing to work on her costume.
I know people will say that this movie is a new spin on G.I. Joe or it's a new erra that has the same spirit as what we grew up loving, but ultimately, I simply can't justify why the writers wanted to change the character's story lines on such a dramatic scale. To me, it did not add anything to the movie, and probably took away a lot from from most collectors or comic fans. |
08-07-2009, 01:23 PM | #4 |
THE PITT - Head Janitor
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Running with the little guy, Fighting to make change
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Since Baroness was European, has it ever occured to anyone why they just didn't let Sienna Miller speak with her English accent? They made her speak with an American accent and I figured it would have been more appropiate to let her speak with her natural tongue.
I will post my own review thread as long as I don't get banned. I am just still in too much shock to articulate myself to make a proper review. I am just still trying to absorb all the badness. I waited 25+ years for this. I feel like how I did when I saw "Star Wars: Phantom Menace." Very bad. Cannot move. Low Energy
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"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men." -Abraham Lincoln "A little rebellion now and then is a good thing......It is a medicine necessary for the sound health of government." -Thomas Jefferson “They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security” -Benjamin Franklin |
08-07-2009, 01:31 PM | #5 |
Iron Grenadier
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Location: New Hampshire
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08-07-2009, 01:31 PM | #6 |
Iron Grenadier
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: San Diego
Posts: 856
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gave ROC 6 out of 10
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08-07-2009, 01:33 PM | #7 |
Cobra Viper
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Chicago
Posts: 193
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Lets make a GI joe movie and totally make everything ass backwards.
That was the thought process here. WTF! |
08-07-2009, 01:36 PM | #8 |
Cobra Viper
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Chicago
Posts: 193
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Very bad. Cannot move. Low Energy
Hahaha thats funny. Thats really how i feel today. Like i wasted the past year on this site reading GI Joe movie news. |
08-07-2009, 01:36 PM | #9 |
Serpentor Imposter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 3,910
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Good review CS, I agree with a lot of it. Personally, I LOVED the movie, and the ONLY 'meh' thing to me was the end with the Baronness. I'm sure in the next she'll be Cobra again. But one thing like that will not make me 'hate' the movie.
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08-07-2009, 01:42 PM | #10 |
THE PITT - Head Janitor
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Running with the little guy, Fighting to make change
Posts: 1,412
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I was expecting the nanoprobe spooch to accidently turn Ripcord white at the end of the movie!
"Well!!!!, nobody's perfect" - Ripcord "No, but we do OK!" - Duke "YO JOE!!!!!" - Everyone Cheers!
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"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men." -Abraham Lincoln "A little rebellion now and then is a good thing......It is a medicine necessary for the sound health of government." -Thomas Jefferson “They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security” -Benjamin Franklin Last edited by thairestauranteur; 08-07-2009 at 01:48 PM.. |
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