This Movie Is Going To Suck

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Originally Posted by WildWeasel

Geez, the freakin' "stones" on some people.

Keith Richards?

Van Damme is prob too old to do any of the fancy stunts and martial arts, but who knows Norris is still sometimes doing his thing..I remembered Statham and thought he would be much better fit for the movie..
Saboteur

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Originally Posted by Saboteur

Norris is still sometimes doing his thing

On the Total Gym haha!!

Isn't he still doing commercial and giving lessons?
Saboteur

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Originally Posted by Saboteur

Isn't he still doing commercial and giving lessons?
Saboteur

Hope so!

[SportingViper]

I just wish the producers of this movie would just stick to what they said in interviews like this one from Hasbro CEO and and joe movie producer Brian Goldner:

But what about the movie's spirit? Should fans expect to see a live-action version of the cartoon, an update on the Marvel comics, or something else entirely? According to Goldner, Sommers and crew want to take filmgoers back a couple of decades:

"Steve Sommers is very different. But he's perfect, because if you think about his movies like 'The Mummy,' it's the perfect action/adventure movie. If you think about what we're trying to do for G.I. Joe, really bringing back that '80s G.I. Joe from the Marvel comics -- those first 155 issues are really our focus. If you think about that, you'll understand what we're trying to get at with all those characters and all the intricate relationships. I don't think you'd see this movie as wacky. I think you're going to see this movie as being inspirational for younger kids and totally in the sweet spot for the guys who grew up on G.I. Joe."

The rumors and other details sound nothing like what Goldner said in the piece.
French orphan Snake-Eyes? I must have missed that issue.Oh wait, I think I remember the issue.I think I remember the title: "G.I.Joe surrenders to PC-ism"

I'm still seeing the movie..Just one irk I had about it was a few of the characters..I think it may have been because of trademark rights or mebbe not..Heavy Duty I wish was Roadblock and Ripcord I wish was Stalker..It's peculiar they mention "80's joes" when Heavy Duty wasn't released until the 90's...
Saboteur

[Barefoot Jedi]

Lifetime Movie Network should have done the Joe movie. In the first ten minutes, COBRA is defeated and COBRA Commander, Destro, Storm Shadow, Zartan, etc. are all killed but the Baroness escapes and swears revenge on the woman who put an arrow in her lover's eye, Scarlett!

Since COBRA is no more, the Joes go back to living normal lives and Scarlett is pursued by Duke but she is in love with Snake-Eyes BUT her family pressures her to be with Duke for whom she has some feelings but her overbearing mother is like "Shana, do you want to spend the rest of your days living like a pioneer in a log cabin with a mute combination of Bruce Lee and Freddy Krueger or do you want to live like a queen with the blonde-haired blue-eyed all-American (not to mention his family is LOADED) boy that all we women dream about!?"

Scarlett goes out with her girlfriends Lady J, Cover Girl, and Jinx and they talk about their love lives and Lady J and Flint are getting married and Scarlett is going to be the maid of honor. Meanwhile, the Baroness in disguise takes a job as a nanny for Scarlett's little brother and ingratiates herself to Scarlett's family.

Duke takes Scarlett out on the town and shows her an expensive good time and Snake-Eyes takes her out camping and fishing in the mountains where she can get her fingernails dirty as she struggles to make her decision.

Flint and Lady J are married in a fancy ceremony with all the Joes attending. The disguised Baroness makes her move at the reception and poisons the punch. Lady J drinks it first and falls out but spills the punchbowl so no one else drinks it. Lady J is in a coma and Flint falls apart emotionally.

The Baroness goes crazy and takes Scarlett's mom and little brother hostage in their house. Scarlett comes home and is confronted by the Baroness. Scarlett and the Baroness fight and while they are struggling the gun gets caught between them and goes off and guess what...the Baroness is shot and killed!

Scarlett realizes she is truly in love with Snake-Eyes and tells Duke that though any woman would be lucky to have him, her heart belongs to someone else. She goes to Snake-Eyes in his cabin and tells him she loves him. At first he pushes her away because he has low self-esteem because of his burns and can't believe she could be attracted to him, but Scarlett takes off his mask and kisses him and shows him just how much his burns don't matter to her.

At the hospital, Lady J comes out of her coma and she and Flint have a tearful reunion joined by Scarlett and Snake-Eyes. And Cover Girl has made her move on Duke who has now found the love of HIS life, so they all live happily ever after.

Filmed on location entirely in CANADA!

[Zefram]

I've said it in other palces and I'll say it here. I'm waiting for the trailer before I cry "suck".

I have to say, though, as much as I like an international feel, I don't think placing the Joe's base on foreign soil, or screwing with their nationalities (especially since they were already a pretty decent melting pot of colors and accents to begin with) is being very faithful to the comic or cartoon.

[Snake Eyes-Joe Ninja]

Well, I cry "things Suck" but I have hope for all things GI Joe