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08-29-2023, 02:15 AM | #1 |
Cobra Viper
Join Date: Jul 2021
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 369
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You ever get the feeling that as the line wore on, but before they just gave up completely (a period I will semi-arbitrarily define as '86-'90) Hasbro's design team kind of phoned it in on a lot of the lower price point vehicle designs?
Whereas these slots had previously been filled by such iconic, all-time bangers as the Sky Hawk, the Polar Battle Bear, and the Trouble Bubble, by '86 you start seeing decidedly less inspired designs creeping into the line: Brand Manager: (inspecting hastily-produced prototype model) So... what exactly is it? Designer: Well, it's a... it's a sled? Brand Manager: Like a snow sled? Designer: Maybe? No, wait. It's a... a sea sled. A HYDRO sled! Brand Manager: A Hydro Sled. Okay. and, um, how do the figures... ride(?) it? Designer: On their stomach. Brand Manager: On their stomach? Designer: Yep. Brand Manager: Like a sled. Designer. A Hydro Sled. (Long awkward pause.) Two figures, actually. Brand Manager: What? Designer Two figures on their stomachs, side by side. Brand Manager: (Considering a new career) Hm. Neat. Or... Brand Manager: (inspecting hastily-produced prototype model) I asked you to make something that transforms. Like a Transformer. Designer: Yep. Brand Manager: This is a... a box. A towable box? Designer: You would think. But then, it TRANSFORMS! Brand Manager: I mean... it opens, I guess? Designer: Yep. It transforms! Brand Manager: Into... a chair and four missiles? Designer: And a radar dish! Brand Manager: Right. And that makes it a...? Designer: A Coastal Defender! Brand Manager: (Reconsidering sobriety) Hm. Neat. Or... Brand Manager: (inspecting hastily-produced prototype model) Well... that's certainly... an interesting shape? Designer: Tri-directional assault! Brand Manager: Yes. I can see that. So, this just sits out in the middle of the battlefield? Designer: Middle of the ocean. Brand Manager: Middle of the...? This is a sea vehicle? Designer: A barge. A Battle Barge! Brand Manager: Does it...? How does it... move? Designer: Radar dishes. Brand Manager: I beg your pardon? Designer: A whole mess of radar dishes. Brand Manager: (Considering an early retirement) Hm. Neat.
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08-29-2023, 03:10 AM | #2 |
Cobra Viper
Join Date: Jan 2022
Location: LA
Posts: 159
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Yes, there was sadly a gradual decline after the peak years of 84 and 85. Just compare the CLAW with its:
semi-realistic aerodynamic design, pivoting canards, pivoting ailerons, retractable landing gear, extendable wingtips, removable gun cover To the 87 Jetpack, which featured: a lazy, blocky design that looked like a brick instead of something that flies guns that could elevate I picked these 2 because they fill the same niche, being a one man flying backpack. Both in aesthetics and play value the CLAW was light years ahead of the Jetpack. |
08-29-2023, 03:15 AM | #3 |
Cobra Viper
Join Date: Jul 2021
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 369
|
Quote:
Yes, there was sadly a gradual decline after the peak years of 84 and 85. Just compare the CLAW with its:
semi-realistic aerodynamic design, pivoting canards, pivoting ailerons, retractable landing gear, extendable wingtips, removable gun cover To the 87 Jetpack, which featured: a lazy, blocky design that looked like a brick instead of something that flies guns that could elevate I picked these 2 because they fill the same niche, being a one man flying backpack. Both in aesthetics and play value the CLAW was light years ahead of the Jetpack.
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08-29-2023, 08:34 AM | #4 |
Crimson Nerd
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 12,579
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Quote:
It feels like Cobra Commander saw Destro's TARGATs but didn't have the technical know-how on-hand to miniaturize the backpack so he gave it firepower instead. Later on in life I decided the Jet Pack was a disposable vehicle usually piloted by a (specially programmed) B.A.T. to provide cheap air interception capability. RIP to the Cobra schmoes that had to test the prototypes, though. The Battle Barge just has to be a punishment detail. Sitting in the (tropical) heat off of Cobra Island being cooked by a giant radar dish all so you can take pot-shots at any boats or aircraft that happen by? Guess there's a reason (besides coming out the same year) they always seem to show Toxo-Vipers manning these! Same thing for a Coastal Defender. "Hey Clutch, you get to sit in this porta-potty on the beach waiting for a Cobra boat to show up, and when it does you've got four missiles that will probably cook you with their backblast when you fire them. Good luck!" Basically, yes, there was definite decline from the early years of ARAH to the latter years in terms of vehicle designs and details (even if they still managed a few standouts). But somehow I end up loving some of the later stuff in spite of its' silliness. Except the Hydro-Sled. They made it look reasonably cool and like a counterpart to the Devilfish in the comics but the toy was just...so disappointing. Had to wait a couple more years until Cobra got the Piranha to truly match it (though I'll say the Piranha is a standout as far as later vehicles go). Last edited by Jmacq1; 08-29-2023 at 08:37 AM.. |
08-29-2023, 08:45 AM | #5 |
Fartbutt McGillicuddy
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: EARF
Posts: 4,572
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the coastal defender is really stupid.
the road toad is awesome. i imagine that in a chase and the joes just ride up onto it for repairs while the vehicle towing is keeping pace with the vehicle they're chasing and fighting it and then repairs are complete that vehicle detaches and goes back to the fight/chase. |
08-29-2023, 10:04 AM | #6 |
Grail Knight
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: Elsewhere
Posts: 956
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I suspect the Hydro-Sled was based on the underwater propulsion devices seen in stuff like Thunderball. I've never thought it was particularly bad.
The Coastal Defender, on the other hand, is terrible. It makes a lot more sense, though, once you find out it was initially designed as a much larger, sort of mobile command unit, complete with two garage bays. It was price-reduced by the bean counters into the thing it became. Scroll down to Guy Cassaday's 1987 designs and you can see the early sketches of it. https://www.3djoes.com/guy-cassaday.html |
08-29-2023, 11:00 AM | #7 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Houston
Posts: 2,449
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86 is the last year for vehicles, in my opinion.
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08-29-2023, 11:03 AM | #8 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Houston
Posts: 2,449
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Imagine sitting in that Coastal Defender box somewhere along the Galveston seawall, monitoring 3 Rattlers and 3 Night Ravens closing in from Cobra Island, wiping sweat from along your brow, just waiting for that first missile to lock onto you and end your worries...
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08-31-2023, 02:13 PM | #9 |
Grail Knight
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: Elsewhere
Posts: 956
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08-31-2023, 05:18 PM | #10 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 4,078
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