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12-16-2009, 03:03 AM | #111 |
W.O.R.M.S. Commander
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Back in the US of A! (NoVA)
Posts: 10,649
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You know what else is great so far? No Ninjas! I know it's part of the mythos but a part that has been told 1000 times. Your stories are more like the Special Missions stuff, which I recall were pretty ninja Free for the most part.
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12-16-2009, 03:23 AM | #112 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,294
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Awesome stuff Troy, I love the way you're nailing the little things that makes the whole story telling element that much more enriching. Pacing, tone, characterization..when this is over (hopefully never) I'd love a signed HC that'll take pride of place next to a copy of Zulu's filecard project (and Tanksmasher's Vietnam project)
Feel as though I need to pull my finger out..sorry aussie expression, ahem get off my a$$ and put my oft discussed joeverse out there. Again, awesome. |
12-16-2009, 11:26 AM | #113 |
#voteblackjack
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Northwood, NH
Posts: 35,747
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Boomslang is a custom Cobra I made, had worked the name out in the Filecard thread.
Xamot's first story is coming up, and it's a doozy. The angle came to me well taking a shower this morning. I want to try and get the Xamot out, the 2nd part of the Mercer story and a new tale out tonight. I'll have the ninjas, but they won't be as huge and definately not as super human.
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12-16-2009, 06:56 PM | #114 |
Crimson Guard
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,294
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A Xamot story that came to you in the shower? ummm Okay...backing away slowly now
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12-16-2009, 07:35 PM | #115 |
#voteblackjack
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Northwood, NH
Posts: 35,747
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Art of the Deal
Xamot leaned close behind her, using one hand to push her long curly red hair out of the way, and putting his other hand over hers on the golf club she was holding. With his free hand he adjusted her hips and could feel her moving against him. He put his free hand on the club and helped her guide the club back and swung. The ball would have gone a good distance, he thought, if there had been a ball there. “Now practice your putting,”he said reluctantly letting go and stepping back. She turned and smiled at him then went back to the putting green. They were in the large corner office that served as Xamot’s when he was in New York at the Extensive Enterprises building. The office was large, a desk in one corner, a couple of seating areas one with a large screen tv, in another corner was a bar in which direction Xamot was heading. Opulent was a good word to describe the office. Granite was on all possible surfaces. The wainscoting was done in wood, but a light color. For it's size, it was not a place Xamot was at often. If it wasn't for Tomax being tied up in the Sierran Gordan business he would not be here at all. He poured himself a snifter of brandy, the bottle worth more than the yearly salary of most of the workers in the building. Definitely worth more then what the red head made, but that wasn’t why Xamot kept her around. The intercom sounded on his desk, slowly he made his way there, not in any hurry. The red head heard the intercom and started cleaning up the golf equipment. “Be back here at 5 my dear,” he called to her. “Yes?”, he asked keying the intercom. “Sir, your appointment is here to see you, a Mr. Rey,” his assistant replied. “Send him in,” Xamot said taking his seat. The red head was heading towards the door as the new comer was walking in. They passed each other and the man made no indication of noticing her, which was odd in itself considering how stunning the woman was. Xamot watched Mr. Rey take the long walk from the door to the desk. If this had been someone he had known Xamot would have met him at the door and brought him to a seating area, but this was someone knew. Best to start off letting him know who was in charge. He had received a call four days ago from this man’s representatives, that they had gotten past the scrutiny of his assistant and the many layers they had to go thru just to get to her, that spoke volumes about this man and the people he represented. He had called with a unique business proposal and would only speak with Xamot Paoli himself. It had taken four days for Xamot to free up his schedule enough to schedule the meeting. The man was tall, blond, blue eyed, handsome but had a slight rough edge. He carried himself with an aristocratic bearing Rey was no fool, Xamot could see this right away. He wore a dark green trench coat that looked to be made of some kind of reptile skin. “Good afternoon Mr. Paoli,” the man said extending his hand. Xamot stood and shook it. “Thank you for making the time to see me. I know it’s most unusual.” “Yes,” Xamot said taking a sip of his drink. He didn’t offer the man anything. “That you are seeing me and not one of the Vice-Presidents speaks highly of what my staff discovered about you and your company, Asklepios Industries.” Rey smiled and bowed his head. “Greek is it not?,” Xamot asked. “Yes,” Rey smiled leaning back in his chair. “You and your brother are from the mediterrean are you not?” “Corsica,” Xamot replied. “Wasn’t Asklepios the greek god of healing or some such?” Xamot knew he had heard the name associated with something else but couldn’t remember. His brother was better with trivial details. “Are you involved in pharmaceuticals?” “Healing of a sort,” Rey answered. “You asked to speak specifically to me,” Xamot pressed. Normally someone that had requested a meeting with one of the Paoli Twins would have brought a team of marketing and sycophants to try and curry favor. There would have been a presentation, something to indicate what they wanted the Twins to invest in. This man had nothing. “You brought nothing with you Mr. Rey, if you are wasting my time…” Xamot let it hang, the threat implied. “I assure you I am not wasting your time,” Rey answered moving one of his hands in a placating gesture. “I am hoping that we can work out a mutually beneficial relationship. I wanted to speak to you, and you alone, because my people assured me that you were the smarter and more creative of the brothers.” “And I assure you sir,” Xamot said, a note of irritation creeping into his voice. “That my brother and I are equals in all matters.” “I meant no offense to you or your dear brother,” Rey said inwardly smiling. He had him now. The hook was set. His people had identified Xamot as the less committed of the two brothers, the more independent thinker and the one that chafed the most under the constant burden of being a twin. “What is it that you want?,” Xamot asked, his patience with this man at an end. “Very well Mr. Paoli,” Rey started. “I will cut to the chase. I know who you work for.” “Work for,” Xamot laughed. “My brother and I do not work for anyone but ourselves. I think it is time for you to leave.” Xamot reached for the intercom. “Please sir,” Rey said smiling. “We both know I speak of that craven upstart with the cobra fetish. And we both know that you do in fact work for him, whether you admit such to yourself or not.” Xamot paused and looked at the man. The coat, he realized, wasn’t so much reptile skin as it was meant to resemble the scales of a snake. He was forced to reappraise the man. “Upstart?” Xamot remarked, catching the word that he was sure Rey hadn’t meant to slip. “You’re with that silly Society then?” Rey bowed his head, an admittance. “Silly is not something I would use to describe those that will soon be your allies.” “You people are no allies of mine,” Xamot said standing up. “I think it’s time you left. It can either be of your own free will or by security throwing you out.” Rey didn’t move. “Mr. Paoli, Xamot,” he said still sitting. “I really think you should hear me out.” Xamot reached for the intercom. “Secur…” “After all,” Rey said leaning forward and meeting Xamot’s eyes. “Don’t you want to truly be free?”
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12-16-2009, 08:42 PM | #116 |
#voteblackjack
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Northwood, NH
Posts: 35,747
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The Viper pt 2
The two men sat there staring at each other, and had been this way for awhile. The woman still leaned against the wall, not moving. They had been like this since they had asked Stratton what his name was. Just that one question, nothing more since. Stratton was tired of waiting. “Who are you,” he asked. The man waved his finger back and forth. “Uh uh,” he said. “Two rules here son. Rule #1 is that we ask the questions and you only speak when spoken to.” He paused and waited expectantly. Stratton just looked at him. The man smiled. “Rule #2,” the woman spoke up. “You don’t want to know what happens if you break rule #2. You may ask a question.” “What is rule #2,” Stratton asked. “You’ll find out,” the man said smiling. It was a cocky smile that Stratton longed to wipe off the man’s face. The silence returned. He had been involved in some interrogations in his time, nothing he was proud of, but this was the oddest one. Were they supposed to be bad cop and badder cop? What kind of interrogation is it where no questions are asked? A minute, maybe more it was hard to tell, the door opened. Neither moved or looked towards the door, Stratton thought he saw the man tense a bit, the woman was the same nonchalance as she had been since walking in. A man walked in carrying two folders, he handed one to the woman and the other to the man, never speaking. He had an assault rifle slung over his shoulder. Stratton cocked his head to get a better look outside, he could make out two more guards. “Nothing out there for you friend,” the man said not taking his eyes from the open folder. Stratton hadn’t thought about escaping, but it helped his ego to know they were taking him seriously. Three armed guards outside the door, these two inside, and where had those folders come from if they were on a ship? “Felix Stratton,” the man said not taking his eyes from the file. “Born in Spencer West Virginia. In and out of foster homes until joined the Marines at 18. Long list of disciplinary problems. Reupped after first 4, didn’t make it thru the 5th year before they dishonorably discharged for too many discipline problems. Moved around a lot, odd jobs here and there, did a year in San Quentin for assault and battery and finally hooking up with King Snake PMC based out of Cairo. Lots of action in the middle east and Africa. Couple years with them and then nothing.” Stratton was impressed. It hadn’t taken them very long to amass a fairly complete dossier on him. He was really impressed that they had any information about has time at King Snake, considering most of those operations had been off the books and completely illegal. It had been good money though. “Marines was Force Recon, small arms armorer and some EOD training,” the man continued. “Received more EOD well at King Snake. King Snake… hhhhmmm…. Don’t we know someone else that was at King Snake,” he asked the woman. “Boomslang,” she answered. Who were these people Stratton wondered. How did they know that name. That was the man that had recruited Stratton to the Cobra organization. How much did these people know? “So Felix,” the man said turning his attention away from the file. “How many of your fellow mercs at King Snake joined Cobra?” Stratton couldn’t hide the amazement from his face. They knew that name? “Yes, we know who Cobra is,” the man said, no hint of a smile. “Now answer the question." “During my time at King Snake,” Stratton started. “I know of 20 that went from King Snake to uh.. Cobra. “ He had a hard time speaking that name aloud. “During your time at King Snake,” the woman said. “There were 75 new employees and 25 that were there when you started. Out of those 100 only 20 joined Cobra?” “Yes,” Felix replied. These people were well informed. “We’ll ask for a list of names later,” the man said. “Don’t worry, won’t have to work from memory we have access to the King Snake employee directory. Now I’m sure the similarities between the names of King Snake and Cobra didn’t escape you?” There was a pause. Stratton didn’t realize he was supposed to answer until the man looked at him and made a “go on” motion. “No, it didn’t escape me. The man you mentioned, Boomslang, had been at King Snake for a while when I got there and a year or so after he left I was recruited.” “By him?,” the man asked. “Yes,” Stratton answered as the man made a note on the file with a pen he had produced from his pocket. “Do you think that King Snake is a recruitment organization for Cobra?” “Yes, I do,” Stratton replied. “Boomslang isn’t a Viper,” the woman remarked. “But you are.” Stratton noticed that she put an emphasis on the last word. They weren’t considering him a defector yet. “Everyone starts out as a blueshirt,” Stratton replied understanding that she may not have directly asked a question but that he was meant to answer anyways. “But those with more formal military training advance to the Viper ranks quickly. Most of those that remain blueshirts..” “Blueshirts,” the man asked. “The non-Vipers,” Stratton answered. “Like Boomslang,” the woman said. “Yes,” Stratton replied. “But he remains one because he’s good at running herd over them. See, the blueshirts for the most part are common thugs, gangsters, gangbangers, that sort.” “Understood,” the man said writing some notes in the folder. Stratton let the silence lengthen. He hadn’t been asked any questions and he wasn’t going to supply any answers. The man looked at him and smiled, it wasn’t friendly. “Time for Rule #2. See friend, you’re the one that came to us, so that means you get to give us all the information we want. If we stop asking you questions, that means it’s time for you to start supplying us more fodder so we can go back to asking the questions. Understand?” Stratton nodded. “And if I break Rule #2?” “You go back and join your friends,” the woman replied. Which meant he would be dead.
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12-16-2009, 09:15 PM | #117 |
Beard Force member.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: boston
Posts: 964
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I like this. This...is good. Great ideas, proper characterization, well thought out storylines, and no superhuman over use of certain characters. An idea for Snake eyes scarlet and how not to overuse them...make scarlet a sniper/ops over-seer, and Snakes could be the guy on the other end of the throat mike. Never seen, only mention, and his presence felt. just tossin' in my two bits, but its your story, Troy, we're just enjoyin' it.
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That there is over one foot of phallic projectile hurt. *As referred to world peacekeepers Howitzer* Hey, I can DRAW! WOOOO. http://www.hisstank.com/forum/member...ms-my-art.html |
12-16-2009, 09:20 PM | #118 |
#voteblackjack
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Northwood, NH
Posts: 35,747
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I hope people will like SE when I finally do introduce him.
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Join the New England G.I. Joe Collector's Group: Battleforce New England Join the March of Cobra. Read the epic adventure on Kindle Worlds and visit the page to learn more. https://www.facebook.com/marchofcobra/ |
12-16-2009, 09:22 PM | #119 |
Beard Force member.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: boston
Posts: 964
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You have yet to dissappoint. And while I may not agree with your version, you write him in with the same style you have been, I WILL BE entertained.
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That there is over one foot of phallic projectile hurt. *As referred to world peacekeepers Howitzer* Hey, I can DRAW! WOOOO. http://www.hisstank.com/forum/member...ms-my-art.html |
12-17-2009, 01:17 AM | #120 |
W.O.R.M.S. Commander
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Back in the US of A! (NoVA)
Posts: 10,649
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The awesomeness just keeps coming. Dude are you sleeping at all? When do you find the time. Like how you are going to be playing the brothers against one another. Nice twist. Sort of a continuation of the new IDW storyline. Force Recon Mercer sounds badass.
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