|05-28-2009, 09:51 PM||#1|
Join Date: Feb 2009
After doing my research, there's one thing I'm thanking the Big General in the Sky for- that Cobra doesn't exist. Seriously, after seeing some of the stuff I'm about to show you- You'll agree... because frighteningly enough, many of Cobra's ideas that made you raise the B.S. flag... really are a horrifying possibility.
B.A.T.s- Battle Android Troopers:
Ah, the BATs. Disposable, loyal, and somewhat reliable hunks of junk that aren't much good for anything other than following simple orders like "See enemy, Kill they ass". But, we're safe... right? I mean, we don't have that kinda stuff yet.
No, Sarah Connor... I'm afraid we do have it. Or at least the Koreans and Japanese are in a pissing contest to make one. Of course, they are quite... female. Who'd have thought the part of the world who gave us tentacle rape anime porn and vending machines that dispense used teenage girls' panties would come up with a female android?
The Waseda University (Japan) and NTT Docomo's manufacturers have succeeded in creating a shape-shifting robot WD-2. It is capable of changing its face. Apparently, the researchers can also modify the shape of the mask based on actual human faces. In addition, the researchers also mention that the shifting robot can even display an individual's hair style and skin color if a photo of their face is projected onto the 3D mask. So, top that, mindbender. Now you can fire Zartan and replace all the BATs... and do anything you want with Lady Jaye.
KITECH (Korea) researched and developed EveR-1, an android interpersonal communications model capable of emulating human emotional expression via facial "musculature" and capable of rudimentary conversation, having a vocabulary of around 400 words. EveR-1's advanced computing processing power enables speech recognition and vocal synthesis, at the same time processing lip synchronization and visual recognition by 90-degree micro-CCD cameras with face recognition technology.
In South Korea, the Ministry of Information and Communication hopes to put a robot in every home by as early as 2013, strictly for the purpose of clean, decorous, nonvulgar (dammit) entertainment. Several robot cities are about to be constructed in the country, with the first being started in 2009. Once again, Mindbender gets trumped, and we will soon be enslaved by machines.
What, you thought it would suck if someone just made a robot that could walk around and shoot people? Please... as you'll soon learn- where human fear draws the line in the sand, science and technology give it the finger, cackle madly, and drive past that mark at 90 mph and don't even look back.
Let me be honest, of all the things in this post that should scare you, this one shouldn't be so bad. As you read on, you'll realize that it's kind of comforting to know something as simple as this exists.
Biologists at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland have decided to go screwing around with rats and make something simultaneously awesome and disturbing. They've genetically modified these rats with the enzyme PEPCK-C, which basically causes rats to have explosive bursts of energy. And increase their life span. And their sexual libido. Oh, and they have been known to become overly agressive.
Which, you know... when you remember that rats are experimented on because of their genetic similarities to human beings (not because people hate them, otherwise Fran Dressier would be in a lab cage), you start to realize how horrible of an idea that is.
Thankfully, Uncle Sam would never allow it to be used on troops to enhance performance, right? Since when has our government ever experimented on troops? Haha... we can breathe easy, right guys? Right?
So, what's more frightening than a horde of Neo-Vipers? Just add fun words like "Rapist" and "Lunatic" to their original description.
Okay, come on... of all the hair-brained ideas that Cobra Commander ever came up with sitting on the toilet, this one is...
Oh. Yeah, I almost forgot. This is the world of science, and it doesn't play by any rules. It hates us all, and we're going to die horrible, terrifying deaths at the hands of something like Venom Troopers.
How possible is it? It's real enough for President George W. Bush to take a stand against it at his 2006 State of the Union address. Researchers in the Netherlands have already successfully spliced together bovine and human genes. And Scientists in the UK have plans to use pigs to grow working replacement organs for humans.
So, Cow-folk and Pigs with a replacement liver for me may not seem too scary, but if you start to consider all the animals that have awesome genetic traits like, say... venomous fangs, exoskeletons, regrowing limbs, asexual reproduction, poison-secreting skin, rows of razor-sharp teeth, lightning reflexes, wall-climbing abilities, chromataphores for blending into an environment, and the claw of a pistol shrimp Alpheidae - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia... things start to get a little scary.
Of course. They would, wouldn't they? Bullets, missiles, and nuclear warheads just weren't cutting it. We had to watch Star Wars and be stupid.
Active Denial System is a millimeter wave source, to heat the water in the target's skin and thus cause incapacitating pain. It is being developed by the U. S. Air Force Research Laboratory in New Mexico by researchers working with Raytheon for riot-control duty in Iraq. Though intended to cause severe pain while leaving no lasting damage, some concern has been voiced as to whether the system could cause irreversible damage to the eyes. However, such damage, being non-lethal, would still be preferable to the damage caused by conventional munitions. There has yet to be testing for long-term side effects of exposure to the microwave beam. It can destroy unshielded electronics. CBS broadcast a "60 Minutes" piece on the technology in 2008.
Something about this whole device says "turn it up to '11' and you can reduce them to ashes". It seems to work best against large groups of angry undesireables, such as local rioting mobs or the Lillith Fair.
Oh, boy. I don't even have to start in on this one. Let's just leave it at this: K. Eric Drexler, one of the main guys who started this theoretical technological nightmare speculates that, among many other catastrophic outcomes... the gray goo theory is one of them. Grey goo - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
Cobra's [insert ridiculously powerful doomsday device] machine!:
Haha, yeah right. No one would be stupid enough to unleash something that could possibly destroy the world. Nothing like that even exists, right? ... right..?
Oh, sweet little Baby Jesus... it does.
It's called the Large Hadron Collider. It smashes particles together really hard, kinda like how we used to do our Hot Wheels. Except, you know... smashing Hot Wheels together didn't have the potential TO COMPLETELY ANNIHILATE ALL EXISTENCE AS WE KNOW IT FOREVER. Could it create a singularity and suck our world into it? Probably. Could it make Dark Matter and warp the very laws of reality? Quite possibly. What about opening a wormhole to another place, maybe even another time... thus completely butt-raping the Space/time thingywhatsit? Yeah, possibly. How about just blowing up the entire damned solar system? Yeah, it could happen.
What the hell is it? Scientists want to check this "Big Bang" thing out. Now, supposedly there's "no threat". But I guess if you destroy everything everywhere all at once, no one is around to put you in jail... and we should just risk it all in the name of science... and it probably won't hurt a lot. At worst, you'll face God's judgement for basically "f*cking with the Almighty"... kinda like that Lucy Fur guy who tried to be like God.
So... we're looking at this thing firing off in about...4 months. Yeah. And if there is life out there on other worlds watching us... we're about to become the intergalactic equivalent of a "yur doin it wrong" or "owned" internet meme.
So, rest easy people. The only thing we have to fear is... the smartest people in the world who are toiling day and night to make scientific breakthroughs. It's not like you have to worry about any globe-spanning terrorist organizations that want to destroy America and rule the planet... right? Guys?
Last edited by Baron Samedi; 05-28-2009 at 10:19 PM..
|05-28-2009, 09:56 PM||#2|
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Memphis, TN
Looking for at reasonable prices:
25th Defense of Cobra Island 7-pack, PoC City Strike Destro, Ren Storm Shadow
|05-28-2009, 10:02 PM||#3|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Cobra Island
Well we're f*cked!
|05-28-2009, 10:05 PM||#4|
Join Date: Apr 2008
Awesome thread. I really enjoy reading about things like this.
I guess not really enjoy, but like to learn things that are going on around us that no one really knows or cares.
Because, face it. Most people are ignorant to what is around them and what is about to happen to them. People just feel peace that way I guess.
But I like some others like to know what is going on.
Thank you for this cool thread.
|05-28-2009, 10:11 PM||#5|
Join Date: Mar 2009
i wanna be genetically advanced :(
SOME OF MY COLLECTION
|05-28-2009, 10:19 PM||#6|
Join Date: May 2008
Who'd have thought the part of the world who gave us tentacle rape anime porn and vending machines that dispense used teenage girls' panties would come up with a female android?
|05-28-2009, 10:26 PM||#7|
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Northwood, NH
Yeah, we pretty much like to fuck ourselves over. We want to keep advancing technology but we end up creating the means to kill ourselves.
Yeah, humans are really smart creatures.
|05-28-2009, 10:27 PM||#8|
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Kansas City, MO
Wheres the panty vending machines?? And how much??
AKA.. Satan from Yojoe Forums.. Stylin and Profilin..
Looking for 25th style Python Patrol Vipers, and Tele Vipers. Also need Live the Adventure Certificates!
|05-28-2009, 10:34 PM||#9|
Join Date: Nov 2008
|05-28-2009, 10:36 PM||#10|
Cobra Peeping Tom
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: IN THE JUNGLE OF CA...
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