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12-07-2011, 10:03 AM | #80341 |
Retired Viper
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Five ways to avoid Christmas morning tantrums
Angela Mulholland, CTVNews.ca Date: Wednesday Dec. 7, 2011 7:13 AM ET Ah, the holidays. The season of kids whining for toys and parents yelling 'No.' The season of TV ads fuelling high hopes and cold reality dashing inflated dreams. And Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas if a child, hopped up on chocolate and mandarin oranges, didn't melt down in front of the wrapping paper-strewn tree on Christmas morning, now would it? But of course, it doesn't need to be this way. Children can be taught to be grateful on Christmas morning, to keep their requests in check, and the smiles on their faces. All it takes is a little preparation and some old-fashioned parenting. 1. Manage expectations Parenting expert Alyson Schafer says the key to avoiding tantrums on Christmas morning is to manage expectations. If it's a lean year, tell your kids. If there's going to be a two-gift limit, tell them. Let them know what you can manage so that they rein in their dream of finding an entire toy store under the tree. Managing expectations also means managing the pressure your kids place on you, Schafer says. She encourages her kids to make gift wish lists, but she also warns them not to expect that they will get what's on it. "It's important to remind kids that if they have a wish list, it's a wish list -- not a demand list," she says. Parents shouldn't feel obligated to buy everything on their kids' wish list – or even anything at all on the list. If what your son or daughter really wants is something you have no intention of allowing into your home, there's nothing that says you have to buy it. "There's no reason to explain to them what you won't be getting them and why; just don't buy it," advises Schafer. 2. Don't acknowledge disappointment But let's say you've decided to go ahead and get them that doodad they've been asking for, and -- horror of horrors – you mess it up. Maybe it's the wrong colour or not the model they wanted – whatever it is, they're angry and pouting. Do you offer to make it right? Warn them to watch their attitude? Neither, advises Schafer. The best approach is to simply ignore them. "I think the message to parents is: We contribute to our kids' happiness but we are not responsible for it," she says. What Schafer means is children should not be "expecting" their parents to get them the "perfect" gift. If our children are angry we didn't get what they asked for, our best response is to walk away, she says. Sure, you can note their disappointment; you can even be empathetic. But do not let them get at you with grumpiness. "They're trying to make you feel bad. So don't engage with it," Schafer says. At the same time, don't waste your time trying to correct their "attitude of ingratitude" right away. Chances are you'll be speaking in anger and they won't be listening anyway. "I would wait until the mood has passed. If you want to talk about how thankful we should be, I would wait. It'll just get you embroiled in a struggle and inflame things," Schafer advises. 3. Find opportunities to teach empathy The holidays can be minefield of embarrassing moments for parents. Moments such as pouts during gift-opening time at the in-laws. Or refusing to mumble a thank-you to the neighbour who drops off a gift. Schafer says the problem many parents run into is they wait for embarrassing situations to arise to teach their children about gratitude and appropriate responses. "I'm a big advocate of training throughout the year, so you don't have to do it in front of company," she says. That's why she advises using opportunities whenever they arise to have discussions about gratitude. Find times to point out how lucky they are to have as much as they do. And when they become irritated when you bring home the wrong cereal from the grocery story for example, explain why that's rude and how their response hurts your feelings. "You don't want it to be a lecture or a sermon; you want to avoid that," says Schafer. "Because kids aren't very open to receiving lessons in that way. They just shut down when we try to lecture." If they're younger, maybe find a time to use puppets to teach about empathy. Or ask a librarian to recommend some books that offer lessons in gratitude. When the message is placed in context, children often respond better than when they are simply lectured, says Schafer. Keep up those discussions throughout the year, and there's a better chance you won't have to do a crash course on this stuff on Christmas morning, she says. 4. Give them an allowance "I think that the one way kids learn gratitude is to be a giver," says Schafer. And the best way to let children understand what it's really like to give is for them to use their own money, she says. Which is why Schafer is a big fan of giving kids an allowance even at a young age. She points out that when Daddy helps Junior buy a gift for Mommy and Daddy pays for it, the child doesn't really feel the gift really came from them. But when children have saved up their allowance and used their own money to buy gifts, it changes everything. "The first time my kids used their own money to buy me a gift, they ran down the stairs Christmas morning and the first thing they wanted opened was the gift that they bought for us," says Schafer. "And that doesn't happen when Mom and Dad buy the gifts on behalf of the kids." The other reason why an allowance is a good idea, says Schafer, is that it gives kids an opportunity to buy themselves that must-have thing they didn't get over the holidays. "For a lot of kids, Christmas and birthdays are the only time they get things they want," says Schafer. "So in their mind, they think if I don't get what I want now, I won't get it at all." That need-it-now tension is what often results in tantrums on Christmas morning, Schafer believes. By giving kids an allowance, that they can save up for things they really want – while also learning an important lesson on delayed gratification along the way. 5. Send thank you notes Finally, if you want to teach your children about gratitude, one of the best ways is to get them to express it in a thank-you note. A thank-you is a non-negotiable must for any gift sent by relative in the mail. Get your child to either pick up the phone, get out pen and paper, or write an email and get thanking, because that gift needs to be acknowledged, says Schafer. Writing a thank-you note is also an opportunity to show children that there's always something nice they can say about a gift, even the ones they're not crazy about. And yes, Shafer says an emailed thank you is just as good as one sent on pretty stationery. "I think it's completely fine in this day and age to send email thank-yous. They're just as heartfelt," she says. A child who learns that gifts are a privilege, not a right, will be a happier child all year long. Read more: Five ways to avoid Christmas morning tantrums | CTV News
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Last edited by ArcticCG; 12-07-2011 at 10:08 AM.. |
12-07-2011, 10:13 AM | #80342 |
Retired Viper
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Markham, ON
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See you can be fat as long as you are active!
Fit vs. fat: which matters more for a long life? CTVNews.ca Staff Date: Wednesday Dec. 7, 2011 8:57 AM ET We have all heard that if we want to lower our chance of dying prematurely from a heart attack or stroke, we should exercise and maintain a healthy weight. But which of the two is more important? New research suggests that good fitness trumps maintaining your weight. The finding comes from a study published in the journal Circulation, which looked at almost 14,400 middle-aged men and then tracked them over 11 years. The men underwent full physicals at least twice during the first six years of the study. During that time, 1,214 men died – 300 of them from a cause related to heart disease. Those who became more fit during the study period (as measured by aerobic intensity test on a treadmill), or those who maintained their fitness were at lower overall risk of dying from heart disease or dying from any cause. This was true even if their weight stayed the same or went up, compared to men whose fitness levels dipped over time. On its own, a change in weight was not associated with an increased death risk. But those who became less fit over the study period were indeed at increased risk of dying from heart disease, regardless of whether their weight changed. Lead researcher Duck-chul Lee, a physical activity epidemiologist at the University of South Carolina's Arnold School of Public Health, says the findings are good news for people who are physically active but can't seem to lose weight. "You can worry less about your weight as long as you continue to maintain or increase your fitness levels," he said in a statement. It's also a reminder to those who are at a healthy weight but whose fitness is falling that they are still at an increased risk of early death. The researchers were able to quantify the benefits of increasing your fitness level through mid-life. They found that every unit of increased fitness in the men over six years was tied to a 19 per cent lower risk of heart disease and stroke-related deaths. It was also linked to a 15 per cent lower risk of death from any cause. The researchers accounted for other factors that could have affected their results, including age, family history of heart disease, beginning fitness level, changes in lifestyle factors such as smoking, and medical conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes. It's important to note that about 90 per cent of the men in the study were either normal weight or overweight at the beginning of the study. Few met the definition of obese. The researchers say that alone could be a key factor to their findings. If there had been more obese people in the study, changes in weight might have had a significant effect on death risks. Lee said it's unclear whether these results would apply to severely obese people. The men who took part in the study were an average 44 years old when the study began. Most were white and middle or upper class. While women would likely have similar results as the men in the study, Lee said it's unclear whether the results apply to other racial and socioeconomic groups. The study was funded by the U.S. National Institutes of Health and an unrestricted research grant from Coca-Cola. The company had no influence on the study's design or findings. Read more: Fit vs. fat: which matters more for a long life? | CTV News
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12-07-2011, 10:28 AM | #80343 |
Night Force
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Danville IN
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Good morning Bandy.
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12-07-2011, 10:32 AM | #80344 |
Retired Viper
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Markham, ON
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Hey CB
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12-07-2011, 10:33 AM | #80345 |
Working 2 Pay My Joe Debt
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 15,804
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Cooobrrraaaaa!!
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12-07-2011, 10:33 AM | #80346 |
Retired Viper
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Markham, ON
Posts: 45,213
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Hey Cobra, did anyone with an Xbox download this yet?
Microsoft rolls out Xbox TV platform The Associated Press Date: Monday Dec. 5, 2011 11:51 AM ET LOS ANGELES — Microsoft Corp. is rolling out a new interface for its Xbox game console users -- one that allows you to navigate through music, movies, TV shows and games with the wave of your hand or the sound of your voice. The interface, first demonstrated by CEO Steve Ballmer in September, is set up similarly to Microsoft Corp.'s upcoming Windows 8 operating system with a series of large panes showing content options. Xbox owners with the Kinect motion controller can swipe through screens by waving their hand in the air. It also responds to direct voice commands, and incorporates Microsoft's search engine, Bing. Windows phone users can control what to watch or hear by tapping on their portable devices. The interface will be available to Xbox users connected to the Internet via a download on Tuesday. In a demonstration for The Associated Press, a Microsoft employee demonstrated how saying, clearly, "Xbox. Bing. 'Iron Man,' " brought up a selection of movies, TV shows, games and soundtracks related to the title. Saying "Xbox. Show. Movies," brought up places to rent or buy the movie, including Microsoft's Zune store, Wal-Mart's Vudu, Netflix or pay TV channel Epix. Separate subscriptions are required for services like Netflix, and much of the content also requires being a gold member of Xbox Live, a connected Internet service that costs $60 a year. Microsoft expects to have pay TV channel partners, including those supplied by Verizon FiOS. There will be no broadcast partners, so fans of the ABC, NBC, CBS and Fox networks will continue to rely on standard set-top boxes or digital rabbit ear antennas for that content. Microsoft says there have been 57 million Xbox units sold around the world and there are more than 35 million users who have logged on to its Xbox Live service at least once in the last three months. It did not divulge how many Xbox Live users are paying gold members. Ross Honey, general manager of Xbox Live entertainment and advertising, said around 40 content partners were expected for the platform. Available apps from those partners will roll out gradually over time. Other partners include the British Broadcasting Company, Hulu Plus, Disney's online ESPN3 service, Ultimate Fighting Championship, YouTube and cable giant Comcast Corp.'s Xfinity on-demand subscription service. Many of the offerings require separate pay TV subscriptions or one-time payments. Honey said that many deals with content providers are still in the works. "As with any new technology that comes with the entertainment industry, it takes time," he said. "What we have here is a start." Read more: Microsoft rolls out Xbox TV platform | CTV News
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12-07-2011, 10:34 AM | #80347 |
Night Force
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Danville IN
Posts: 51,481
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Hey Chief. What's up?
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12-07-2011, 10:34 AM | #80348 |
Retired Viper
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Markham, ON
Posts: 45,213
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Hey Chief
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12-07-2011, 10:38 AM | #80349 |
Night Force
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Danville IN
Posts: 51,481
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I don't have an X-Box but that looks like a great interface they've put together.
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12-07-2011, 10:52 AM | #80350 |
Banned
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Location: Texas
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My god we have turned into a news-stand!
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