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03-30-2014, 01:02 PM | #1 |
Illegal go-cart racer
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Cobra's prison of happiness.
Posts: 1,290
|
I'm writing a script for a joe film, so I decided to bring Cobra-La to the table.
The film takes place three weeks after a battle the joe's and cobra's both refer to as the pursuit of cobra. The pit was heavily destroyed, thus the joes were re-located to the USS Flagg. Cobra at this time is in major financial issues thanks to the failed poc, but to make this worse, a huge aircraft, the CATALYST shoots a hole through Cobra's Torture Drome (a bigger, more advanced Terror Drome which is their base) and kidnaps Cobra Commander, with several Cobra Members, Dr. Mindbender, Cesspool, and Overkill reveal their ties with the ship, and it's crew, the Neo-Cobra La's. The three leave, while heavily destroying the Torture Drome at the same time. The Captain of the CATALYST, and leader of the military wing of Neo-Cobra la, Iron Klaw briefs the three on their plans, and how project: thanatos has been progressing. He briefs Neo-Cobra La's emperor, Emperor Neo about the progress, and their soon return to Cobra-La. The joes intercept a distress signal from the torture drome about Cobra Commander's abduction, and decide to pursue the target. The crew boost the ship's main power source, SOUL-2 to it's true form, to get the ship moving faster. General Hawk assigns Lt. Falcon to lead a unit to inflitrate the CATALYSTS main power deck. However, the FLAGG is picked up by the CATALYST which attack, heavily damaging the ship. Falcon, along with Flint, Lady Jaye, and Keel Haul leave to hack the ship's control after the attack. To be continued, when I have more time. Please comment if you liked the story so far, or not. |
04-02-2014, 09:35 PM | #2 |
Illegal go-cart racer
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Cobra's prison of happiness.
Posts: 1,290
|
Bump, please leave some feedback, I'd really appreciate it.
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04-04-2014, 11:40 AM | #3 |
All That Remains
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Southern CT
Posts: 2,089
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Hey there CrackerJacks.
So right off the bat, what you wrote isn't so much a script as it is a rough outline. If you really want to write a script might I suggest the book How To Write a Screenplay, or even The 21 Day Screenplay. Second, I think you may be front loading too many characters. Ensembles are hard to write convincingly, I know I'm trying to do it myself. Lastly, I actually like the idea of introducing Cobra La, even though I don't like Cobra La. Kids might dig it. I'd be interested to read about them. |
04-04-2014, 12:23 PM | #4 |
Illegal go-cart racer
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Cobra's prison of happiness.
Posts: 1,290
|
Quote:
Hey there CrackerJacks.
So right off the bat, what you wrote isn't so much a script as it is a rough outline. If you really want to write a script might I suggest the book How To Write a Screenplay, or even The 21 Day Screenplay. Second, I think you may be front loading too many characters. Ensembles are hard to write convincingly, I know I'm trying to do it myself. Lastly, I actually like the idea of introducing Cobra La, even though I don't like Cobra La. Kids might dig it. I'd be interested to read about them. I don't like Cobra La either, but I just changed it from an alien empire, to a human empire. Thanks for the suggestions. |
04-30-2014, 08:50 PM | #5 |
Illegal go-cart racer
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Cobra's prison of happiness.
Posts: 1,290
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