What?!? Who in their right mind would make customs of these characters? Cross Hair, sure, I understand, he's a Sniper and arguably one of the best Joe characters ever made, even if he is from the new sculpt era, but these other two? I would, that's who. Hear me out.
BIG BRAWLER
Big Brawler is easily one of the most reviled characters ever for G.I. Joe (maybe moreso than my favorite, Big Lob). Why? simple. awful name, arbitrary specialty, ridiculous indestructible, most dangerous man alive bio, and the fact that he was named after the head of the old Joe fan club. More specifically, though, he represents Hasbro's complete lack of understanding of what makes a a great G.I. Joe character. it's really simple, actually. cool code name that reflects his specialty, and a bio that reveals character traits and quirks that either accentuate that specialty or are ironic considering it. Big Brawler has none of those things. Ridiculous name, specialty that has zero relationship to it, and a bio and character that are convoluted and are a slap dash of random ideas to make him seem like the coolest soldier ever.
This isn't the coolest custom ever, but my motivation wasn't the figure, it was to simply rewrite the character and maybe salvage some trace of credibility for him. So, starting with the name Big Brawler, I developed the bio around a arrogant, POS who likes to fight, who has bullied his way up the ranks of Army Intelligence and weaseled his way onto the Joe team (that's for you, Mr. Mullholland). A career in Army Intelligence sure seems to make Covert Operations a more relevant specialty and not Jungle Warfare. Now you have a character who is concise, has character, and is reviled for his own characteristics, not Hasbro's bad ideas. not only does the filecard flow with the same style and prose of RAH filecards, it is better than any filecard written since the early 90's. that's right, Hasbro, you can't write filecards to save your life, and every original filecard I've written is better than anything you can do. give me a call, I'll help you out, you don't know what you are doing. the fact that I culd do it with the worst character you ever made makes that assertion undeniable.
CROSS HAIR
Not much to say about Cross Hair. He's a sniper, so he is inherently cool, and the design is great. But the filecard was written by modern Hasbro, and has zero style to it. No problem , Hasbro, I'll fix that for you. now you have a character bio that could have come right out of the 80's for a character that could have too.
SWITCH GEARS
Yeah, he's not a great figure. The design is unnecessarily complicated with arbitrary elements. But I like the idea of a character who simply likes to punch with one hand until it gets tired, then starts with the other. The motivation, again, was to rewrite the character in a more vintage RAH style based around that character trait. It was real easy to do, Hasbro, because I care about the style that made RAH great and want to see it continue. maybe one day you will too, because it can even make your new lame ass characters shine somewhat.
