Serpymatt
02-19-2011, 02:46 PM
Ok all... here's a little humorous fic I wrote about my fave character. One day I'll get around to writing more, but I wanted to share this and see if anyone had any input :)
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A Day In The Life of A Mentally Unstable Leader
by Serpymatt
“This I command! This I command! This I command! This I command! This I command! This I comm...” The man rises quickly to smashes his alarm clock, stopping the infernal racket.
“Tele-viper!” he shouts through the door.
“Yes, Serpentor?”
An agitated voice calls out, “Get in here!”
Stepping in the room, the viper is filled with awe; this was the first time he had seen the interior of his leader’s personal chambers. “What are your orders, sir?”
Rubbing his eyes, Serpentor looks closely at the lowly viper,
“A simple question... where did this... thing,” he said motioning to the broken clock, “come from?”
The Tele-viper's happiness was unmistakable, “I bought it for you sir. I didn't know if you had an alarm clock, so I thought it would make a great gift.”
A low, rumbling growl emerged from the emperor's throat as he threw a snake that had been coiled around the bed post. The snake grew rigid as it flew through the air and took the form of a spear as it burst through the viper's heart. “It was a pathetic gift! Who ever heard of such nonsense? ‘This I command,’ how ignorant. That guy before me really did have morons on his payroll.”
Serpentor sat down and pressed a button on his bedside table, “Mindbender!”
A voice came back, “Yes, Serpentor?”
“Send some B.A.T.s down here to clean up this mess!”
A slight pause, “What is it this time?”
“Just another inept viper...”
Dr. Mindbender sounded perturbed, “Another? Is there blood on the carpet?”
“Of course.”
“All right, all right. I'll send a couple of BATs with Shop-Vac extensions.”
Serpentor chuckled lightly, “Thanks. This will be our little secret.”
"Little secret? Little secret! That's the 74th viper this week! Everybody knows something's up. Not even Cobra Commander handed out that many pink slips to stupid vipers! Maybe you should come in for a personality tune up?”
Perhaps his creator was onto something. “Maybe so... I'll see if I can fit it into my schedule somewhere.”
8:00 A.M: Breakfast with Destro. Talk about the incompetence of the Joes.
8:30 A.M: Morning exercises.
10:30 A.M: Shower; the troops don't like a funky leader. Note to self - don't wear the snakes in the shower this time.
11:00 A.M: Lunch with the local zoo administrator; I must know more about the new reptile exhibit.
10:30 P.M: Have Baroness tuck me in and read bedtime story. Don't let Destro know.
“Yeah... maybe I can stop in after lunch.”
Dr. Mindbender shook his head slowly, “OK, I'll be waiting.”
************************************************** *****************
Dr. Mindbender sat behind his desk reading the latest issue of Mad Scientist Weekly, until he was interrupted by a knock at his door, “Come in.”
The door opened and the Cobra Emperor walked in. “I hope I'm not too late...”
The doctor put his magazine down and addressed his creation, “How can you be late? You never gave me an exact time for the meeting. I knew if left out a few brain cells during your creation. How was lunch?”
Serpentor took a seat across for the doctor, “Lunch was good, but the conversation disappointed me. I had to kill that damned zoo guy.”
“What? We can explain vipers, but how are we gonna survive the fallout of this?”
Serpentor waved the questions away, “I took care of it. I fed him to my pet snakes.”
“Oh God,” Dr. Mindbender mumbled. “I'm almost afraid to ask why you did it...”
“He wouldn't let me run the exhibit. Something about not being qualified. I run an operation named Cobra. I walk around in a snakeskin suit 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I don't know reptiles? I thought this suit was going to bring me some special considerations! I may just start wearing those green flannel pajamas I've got in my closet.”
Mindbender could only stare in disbelief. ‘He's really lost it; completely nuts,’ he thought to himself. “Uh, my lord? I think it's time for that personality tune up.”
“OK, how are we gonna do this?”
Reaching into his desk, Dr. Mindbender pulled out a huge hypodermic needle. “You just need a little bit more DNA...”
“More? I've got the DNA of at least 5 people running around inside of me right now. Who's next?”
“Well, I've got some comedian DNA...”
Serpentor shook his head, “I don't think so. I'm supposed to conquer nations, not comedy clubs.”
“Oh yeah... that whole bad guy thing. I overlook that sometimes.”
Serpentor stood up to leave, “No problem, just don't let it happen again. Guess I'll see you when I go on another killing spree.”
The scientist sat down and picked his magazine up again, “Great. See you tomorrow.”
************************************************** ********************
“... then Goldilocks walked out of the cabin with a warm feeling in her heart. Looking back, she was pleased that all three arrows had found their marks. She had finally got her revenge on those pesky bears. From that day on, whenever she ate porridge, she got a silly grin on her face. The end.”
Closing the book, Baroness stood up and straightened her nightie, “Will that be all Serpentor?”
The leader thought for a minute, “Will you turn my night light on?”
“Honestly, aren't you a little old for that?”
“Well, at least leave the door open a bit.”
Putting her hands on her hips, Baroness sighed, “Maybe I should tell Destro about this...”
Serpentor shot up in bed. “No! And leave that door cracked. This I command!”
The exotic woman just rolled her eyes, “OK. Good night Serpentor... and take off those stupid snakes.”
The End
----------
A Day In The Life of A Mentally Unstable Leader
by Serpymatt
“This I command! This I command! This I command! This I command! This I command! This I comm...” The man rises quickly to smashes his alarm clock, stopping the infernal racket.
“Tele-viper!” he shouts through the door.
“Yes, Serpentor?”
An agitated voice calls out, “Get in here!”
Stepping in the room, the viper is filled with awe; this was the first time he had seen the interior of his leader’s personal chambers. “What are your orders, sir?”
Rubbing his eyes, Serpentor looks closely at the lowly viper,
“A simple question... where did this... thing,” he said motioning to the broken clock, “come from?”
The Tele-viper's happiness was unmistakable, “I bought it for you sir. I didn't know if you had an alarm clock, so I thought it would make a great gift.”
A low, rumbling growl emerged from the emperor's throat as he threw a snake that had been coiled around the bed post. The snake grew rigid as it flew through the air and took the form of a spear as it burst through the viper's heart. “It was a pathetic gift! Who ever heard of such nonsense? ‘This I command,’ how ignorant. That guy before me really did have morons on his payroll.”
Serpentor sat down and pressed a button on his bedside table, “Mindbender!”
A voice came back, “Yes, Serpentor?”
“Send some B.A.T.s down here to clean up this mess!”
A slight pause, “What is it this time?”
“Just another inept viper...”
Dr. Mindbender sounded perturbed, “Another? Is there blood on the carpet?”
“Of course.”
“All right, all right. I'll send a couple of BATs with Shop-Vac extensions.”
Serpentor chuckled lightly, “Thanks. This will be our little secret.”
"Little secret? Little secret! That's the 74th viper this week! Everybody knows something's up. Not even Cobra Commander handed out that many pink slips to stupid vipers! Maybe you should come in for a personality tune up?”
Perhaps his creator was onto something. “Maybe so... I'll see if I can fit it into my schedule somewhere.”
8:00 A.M: Breakfast with Destro. Talk about the incompetence of the Joes.
8:30 A.M: Morning exercises.
10:30 A.M: Shower; the troops don't like a funky leader. Note to self - don't wear the snakes in the shower this time.
11:00 A.M: Lunch with the local zoo administrator; I must know more about the new reptile exhibit.
10:30 P.M: Have Baroness tuck me in and read bedtime story. Don't let Destro know.
“Yeah... maybe I can stop in after lunch.”
Dr. Mindbender shook his head slowly, “OK, I'll be waiting.”
************************************************** *****************
Dr. Mindbender sat behind his desk reading the latest issue of Mad Scientist Weekly, until he was interrupted by a knock at his door, “Come in.”
The door opened and the Cobra Emperor walked in. “I hope I'm not too late...”
The doctor put his magazine down and addressed his creation, “How can you be late? You never gave me an exact time for the meeting. I knew if left out a few brain cells during your creation. How was lunch?”
Serpentor took a seat across for the doctor, “Lunch was good, but the conversation disappointed me. I had to kill that damned zoo guy.”
“What? We can explain vipers, but how are we gonna survive the fallout of this?”
Serpentor waved the questions away, “I took care of it. I fed him to my pet snakes.”
“Oh God,” Dr. Mindbender mumbled. “I'm almost afraid to ask why you did it...”
“He wouldn't let me run the exhibit. Something about not being qualified. I run an operation named Cobra. I walk around in a snakeskin suit 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I don't know reptiles? I thought this suit was going to bring me some special considerations! I may just start wearing those green flannel pajamas I've got in my closet.”
Mindbender could only stare in disbelief. ‘He's really lost it; completely nuts,’ he thought to himself. “Uh, my lord? I think it's time for that personality tune up.”
“OK, how are we gonna do this?”
Reaching into his desk, Dr. Mindbender pulled out a huge hypodermic needle. “You just need a little bit more DNA...”
“More? I've got the DNA of at least 5 people running around inside of me right now. Who's next?”
“Well, I've got some comedian DNA...”
Serpentor shook his head, “I don't think so. I'm supposed to conquer nations, not comedy clubs.”
“Oh yeah... that whole bad guy thing. I overlook that sometimes.”
Serpentor stood up to leave, “No problem, just don't let it happen again. Guess I'll see you when I go on another killing spree.”
The scientist sat down and picked his magazine up again, “Great. See you tomorrow.”
************************************************** ********************
“... then Goldilocks walked out of the cabin with a warm feeling in her heart. Looking back, she was pleased that all three arrows had found their marks. She had finally got her revenge on those pesky bears. From that day on, whenever she ate porridge, she got a silly grin on her face. The end.”
Closing the book, Baroness stood up and straightened her nightie, “Will that be all Serpentor?”
The leader thought for a minute, “Will you turn my night light on?”
“Honestly, aren't you a little old for that?”
“Well, at least leave the door open a bit.”
Putting her hands on her hips, Baroness sighed, “Maybe I should tell Destro about this...”
Serpentor shot up in bed. “No! And leave that door cracked. This I command!”
The exotic woman just rolled her eyes, “OK. Good night Serpentor... and take off those stupid snakes.”
The End