Tell a bad joke thread....

[The Conflict]

Why was the bad baseball team so hot?

They had no fans!

[The Conflict]

What did the square say to the old circle?

Been around long

[The Conflict]

Who sleeps with his shoes on?

A horse

[USAgent]

Q: What do you call a sad frog that's been run over by a steamroller?

A: Depressed!

[The Conflict]

Why didnt the sun ever shine on the castle?

It was full of knights

[The Conflict]

How do you wrap a cloud?

With a rainbow

[NightForceHorde]

A horse walks in to a bar

The bartender say "why the long face"

[Barefoot Jedi]

Q: How many toy collectors does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Three.

One to change it, and the other two to argue on the internet about how it sucks and how they would have improved it.

[The Conflict]

Any joke from the show Yo momma.

[Lantern_Lad]

Q: What do you call a black airline pilot?

A: A pilot, you racist!

[kneroh]

What's the best way to explore Castle Grayskull?

Tank the the Skele-Tour!

[Lantern_Lad]

A priest, a rabbi and a monk walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What is this a joke?"

[Ronnie Dobbs]

Did you ever blow bubbles when you were a kid?





Well I saw him last week, and he told me to say hi to you.

[Lantern_Lad]

An elderly man is sitting in front of the TV watching Maurey. His wife decides that she's going to spice up their sex life, so she puts on a sexy little number she picked up at the local Victoria's Secret and attempts to proposition her mate... the following is the transcript of that event:

Elderly woman walks down the stairs:

"Honey, are you ready for some Super-Sex???"

The man considers his options for a moment and replies:

"I'll take the soup!"





... take a moment to let that one soak in...

[Joecom]

How does a wizard keep his potions safe from burglary?



With a warlock.

[Joecom]

A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

[Unclassified]

what do you get when you cross a elephant an a rhino?

el if i know? .....ba doom boom pshhhh!!!!

[Stronox]

A woman sitting in the bar notices a tall, well built, handsome man walk in and order a shot. As soon as the man downs it, he jumps from the stool and literally flys right out the window, around the building, and back to his bar stool. The woman shocked and amazed at this said, "how did you ever do that!?" The man said, "it's a magic shot, would you like one?" She replied, "sure!" The woman downed the shot quickly, then jumped out of her seat and right out the window falling face first on the concrete below. The bartender leans over to the man and says, " Superman, your a real jerk when you're drinking."

[CharIJoe]

How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a round room and tell her to pee in the corner

[WingZero]

Let me tell you a dirty joke.


A white horse fell in the mud.

[hassidae]

What's the best time to see the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.

[Cobra-Love]

What did the horny skeleton do to his lady?

He boned her!

[Cobra-Love]

Knock Knock
Whose there?
Boo
Boo who?
Aww don't cry.

[Cobra-Love]

What kind of meat does the Pope eat?

Nun

[Unclassified]

2 jews walk in a bar...


an bought the place.. oh!!!

[DaViper]

How does a hotdog vendor sell his hotdogs?

With relish!

[Lifeline_MD]

Three guys walk into a bar.







Ouch.

[Tanksmasher]

Kock, Knock...

Who's there?

Impatient Cow.

Impatient C--

MOOOOOO!!

[JDickson]

A Skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop!

[DaViper]

There were 2 fish in a tank. One of the fish turns to the other and says "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

[Black Llama]

What's better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics?




Not being retarded!

[Black Llama]

How do they make holy water?




Take a bucket of water behind the church and boil the hell out of it.

[WingZero]

Johnny's mom is trying to wean her son of sucking his thumb before he goes to sleep. So right as he's going to bed, she tells him, "Johnny, if you don't stop sucking your thumb, you're going to grow really fat and big like a balloon!" Johnny freaks out and swears he'll never suck his thumb again.

A few days later he goes to the Doctor's office where a pregnant woman is sitting in the lobby. He goes up to the pregnant woman and says loudly, "Miss! I know what YOU'VE been doing!"

[handsomedevil]

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

[CobraRebellion]

What's better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics?




Not being retarded!
I am gonna use that one everyday for the rest of my life!





What did the hat say to the neck tie?


You hang around, I'll go on ahead! *bud-um chhh*

[CobraCrimson]

A baby seal walks into a club

[Cobra-Love]

What's better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics?
Not being retarded!


A baby seal walks into a club
__________________


lol
Those are jacked up!

[Zefram]

:D
http://wehaveall4u.com/mycontrol/photo/1236486119-no_jokes_please.jpg

[dawingster]

Know the difference between Asian kung fu and Italian kung fu?

In Italian kung fu, two guys hold your opponent down while you kick the snot out of him.

[CodenameLawman]

A vacum cleaner and a fan are sitting in the corner. The fan turns to the vacum and tells him, "you suck". The vacum relpies, "oh blow me".

[cobralalalala!]

A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a drink.

The bartender says " I'm sorry, we don't serve food"

[Fast_Draw]

what do rednecks do for Halloween?

they pump kin.

[Blaster'spunchingbagg]

What did one window say to the other?


You're a real pane in the glass! . . . Oh!

[kneroh]

Why does Batman like Superman so much?

He admires his Candor!

[arashikage tat]

Q: What do you call a black airline pilot?

A: A pilot, you racist!

lmao...that one was great!

[arashikage tat]

What did the cholo say when the house fell on him

Get off me homes

[CodenameLawman]

What do toilet paper and the USS Enterprise have in common.


They both circle your anus(uranus) and wipeout Klingons.

[cab00se]

Let's keep it a little more PG rated in here guys

[Warrant Officer Flint]

A guy's name was jack.


Another guy's name was philip.

[Uberlad]

why were the strawberries upset?


they were in a JAM!

[Zartanman]

Q: What kind of flower buys a father's day card?

A: A SUN Flower.

[The Conflict]

What kind of hats do they wear at the northpole?

Ice caps

[The Conflict]

What kind of music sticks with you?

Taped music

[The Conflict]

What kind of tree would have the best bark?

Dogwood

[Cobra-Love]

Why did the chicken jump off the waterfall?



Because he was crazy!

[The Conflict]

What has a hundred ears but cant hear?

A field of corn

[C.I.A.D.]

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?


One is white, made out of plastic and harmful to children.

The other carries groceries.

[The Conflict]

How does the moon clean the ice off its windshield?

It uses a skyscraper

[The Conflict]

Who's strong enough to stop a moving car?

A policeman

[code_red_shockwave]

Q: What do you call a car that's been totaled in a car crash?

A: A Mercedes-Bendz!

[Lody]

Two nuns are in the tub together.
One says, "Where's the soap?"
The second nun says, "Yeah it is is isn't it?"


HAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh me oh my
I crack myself up

[Lody]

Knock Knock
Impatient cow
Who's there?

[cobraslave]

What do you call a pair of banana peels put together?

A pair of slippers.

[CobraCrimson]

I just heard that Michael Jackson will not be cremated since he is mostly plastic. He will insted be melted down into legos so the kids can play with him this time.