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HissTank.com Review of the GI Joe Movie (Seen it!)
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08-08-2009, 07:38 PM
xhairs
Banned
Join Date: May 2007
Location: blasdell, ny near buffalo
Posts: 8,433
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ottodestruct
Ok here is my review.
Caution there will be spoilers.
I love movies, plain and simple. I love "bad" movies as much as "good" movies.
I love GI.Joe, in particular Im a huge Cobra fan.
Having said that , I really disliked the movie.
I could get behind the changes and updates that both Transformers and Resolute presented, but to me this movie felt like a script for Gijoe Sigma six not the classic Joe I grew up with in the 80's.
Ok lets get into the movie.
Sigma six..err I mean Team Alpha
Good
Channing Tatum/ Duke. I actually liked. he has good action star quality.
Bad
My problem with him is he didn't convey the leadership qualities that is Duke. He just seemed like a bad ass that didn't need a team from the beginning.
Ripcord.
I actually have no problems with this character, I like Wayons in this part, even the romance aspect, he chased the girl without being a total Idiot or a sterotypical pimp.
Snake Eyes.
Good
Ray Park is a bad ass.
Bad
The 8 year old ninja fight was a tad stupid.
And the creepy man mouth costume choice was just wrong
Heavy Duty.
Hate this character.
What happened to Road Block? why the heavy duty choice? Oh yeah he is part of the Sigma Six Line...
Scarlet.
Hot girl good actress. liked her alot. the CG motorcycle chase after the Battlesuits was , well pointless.
Breaker.
This character was fine, didnt see him enough to really make an opinion. he seemed like the typical Tech nerd character.
Other Joes.
I really disliked the lack of any other Obvious Joes. It was to focused on Sigm...I mean "Alpha Team" it would have nice to see some other Iconic characters even in the background.
M.A.R.S/Cobra
Destro.
Sigh, I so wanted to like Eccleston in this part, he really should have stayed on as the Dr.
His Scottish accent was horrible, I would equate it to a southern person trying to fake a newyork accent. It was forced and frankly sounded terrible.
The CGI mouth after his Nanite injection was .... bad.
The Baroness.
Hawt but.....
Lack of Accent, Romantic involvement backstory that was totally unnecassary, and being CC's sister. FTW?
Storm shadow.
I liked the adult version , but 8 year old SS killing hardmaster was just , well...weak.
Cobra Commander.
Wow this just sucked out loud.
the entire backstory and tie ins to other characters heaped on top of a really stupid costume.... this just hurt me.
Overview.
Over all the plot line was really weak, why would a Weapons Manufacturer set up an elaborate crazy plan con NATO out of money so they could to build Nanite weapons, but seemingly have enough capitol to build a multibilliondollar complex under the ice at the north pole.
The use of Nanites recently has also became the Lazy way of explaining everything in movies and T.V., Come on guys do something original.
also the exceedingly over used leap out and be rescued by the waiting vehicle trick is getting tedious.
The sigma six..Err I mean Delta six Accelerator suit.
I can only suspend physics so far. ask the Bear armor guy how well his "bear armor" worked against a grizzly. The wearer would be pulp after the first impact at 60mph with a car.
Over all I liked the action, and sadly that's about it.
I give it a 2 on a scale of 5.
I wont be wasting my money on it again..
Ottodestruct
Movielover.
very good post.
xhairs
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