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HissTank.com Review of the GI Joe Movie (Seen it!)
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08-08-2009, 02:17 AM
AlternateUniverse Steeler
Mirror Universe Hero
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Kota's Lair
Posts: 1,837
A 3 on a scale of 5 stars.
I went into the movie with my mind made up it was going to be a zero. I decided to see for myself before i continue to complain. I ploncked down $20 bucks (paid for my best friend) and an additional $10 on food.
The Good:
General Hawk- They could not have had a better Hawk. Masterfully played and dead on characterization. I am very happy his role was expanded.
Snake Eyes & Storm Shadow-The adult and child versions were great. A nice update to the classic story. Entertaining and well thought out. The best development of any of the characters.
Destro (actor performance & story) - He stole the show. I love Christopher Eccleston. He is the best choice for the role. He played it so true to history that i was glad i paid to see the movie. He was truely an evil genius arms merchant, a true james Bond villian.
The USS Flag- Holy crap! Thep put old 99 in the movie! That was a shock.
Zartan- The whistling machine, Nuff' Said!
Cobra Commander's evolution- Seeing him change through flashbacks & the end scenes were classic. It gives me hope for the next films. A great set up. Joseph Gordon-Levitt surprised me. Going in i was hating him. Afterward i liked his portrayal. Especially at the end. This was the thing that was the most opposite of my impression before the movie.
Cobra Logo on sub at the end & Jailed Destro & Cobra commander.
The Bad:
The Baroness story- She did not need to be a mind controlled love intrest to duke. That sucked donkey rump. A back story is fine but making her "good" was a slap in our faces. Horrible writing in this area.
Ripcord- He was ok in his role but WTF?! Too much comic reliec. And call him Stalker Dammit!
Neo Viper costumes- too much Hollywood tampering. Should have looked more like Vipers or non sculpted faces. A nose and mouth on helmet looks like crap.
Accelerator suits- Flashy chase scene fluff. Thank God they were not in whole movie. It was like the Old Marvel NFL Superpro comic in (unfit words for this forum) style. The physics of the chase were well, unphysic-like. Gravity and momentum do not work that way. Poor directing and cg work.
The Ugly:
Gung-ho- Or as i call him "Plug Brendon Frasier into a bland role"
Scarlet & Ripcord "interest"- It was obvious by her & Snake eyes touching and hugs that they were together. The Ripcord part was stupid and a waste of time.
Lack of classic joe vehicles.
Everyone Knowing about Night Ravens & their operation. What was that crap???
The murder of Cover Girl- Um guys what was that? That was not needed and kinda stupid.
The good did change my view enough to like it somewhat and appreciate the setup for the future. That HOPE make this better than i thought before. But the bad was very bad. The director must be flayed or worse. Forced to learn GI JOE and be whipped for stupid changes.
Will add more when i digest this futhur.
Last edited by AlternateUniverse Steeler; 08-08-2009 at
02:23 AM
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