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Thread
:
I'm losing my passion for Joes and pretty much everything else
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09-19-2017, 01:06 PM
bigvig
Banned
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Maine
Posts: 1,547
You know whats funny: I came in here today for the first time in years. Don't know why, just did. And I found this post.
Im so incredibly sorry to hear about your wife. I can only imagine what you've been through and continue to go through.
Im in the same boat as you sort of. I haven't been on this site in YEARS, let alone posted anything. I used to love coming here daily (multiple times a day actually) and there were a ton of people I knew (some were even in my general area of northern Maine). It was a cool place, everyone knew each other even if it was online only. Lots of fun banter, lots of similar interest and tons of great posts. Then slowly people started to disappear. Some, like Goggles, even passed away.
My gramp, who raised me, passed away sort of suddenly a couple years back. It was a blizzard in rural Maine and I did CPR and mouth to mouth for 20 minutes waiting for the ambulance. A couple months later my wife was offered an amazing job that afforded her and my son tons of opportunities we didn't have in Northern Maine. We moved almost 3 hours south and I haven't been the same since.
We left the house we built together (literally, we gutted a 1917 American Foursquare and did EVERYTHING ourselves) with almost everything in it. My grandmother wasn't doing well so my mother wanted us to move into her house and take care of it until we found a new house. My gram has gotten progressively worse and 2 years later we're still in her house. We lived at the end of the Appalachian Trail and we hunted and fished daily. We took adventures together daily. We closed my business and left behind all of our friends we had made over the 15 years we lives there since graduating college. Since moving to "the city" Ive lost all my passion for everything and I don't keep in contact with my friends.
Depression sucks and its still a huge taboo subject. Im in the same boat as you and honestly, it seems like theres no way to fix it. Ive never really said to anyone that Im depressed, and that's part of it. I think us guys think its a ridiculous thing to say. We just plug along, head down. I had a friend commit suicide a few years back and people were so pissed at him. They couldn't understand. They thought he was the last person who would do that. I totally understood what he was going through and wasn't angry at all. Just sad. Sad he was so young. Sad I knew what was going on and couldn't help him.
You have a therapist. Keep going. Its better than nothing for sure, even if you feel like it isn't helping.
I don't really know what else to say or why Ive vented so much here, but I feel for you. We need normalcy and routine in our lives and when its snatched away it changes us. When a loved one is snatched away its multiplied by infinity and its incredibly tough. It makes us question everything and care about almost nothing. Hang in there man. You're not alone.
bigvig
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