TFW2005
Hisstank
Thundercats
TokuNation
Toyark
Home
News
G.I. Joe Movie
G.I. Joe Classified
G.I. Joe Vintage
Compatible Military Toys
G.I. Joe Comics
G.I. Joe Conventions
All News Categories
Photo Shoots
Database
G.I. Joe Database Index
G.I. Joe Classified
G.I. Joe 25th Anniversary
G.I. Joe Resolute
G.I. Joe Movie
G.I. Joe Pursuit of Cobra
G.I. Joe Renegades
G.I. Joe 30th Anniversary
G.I. Joe Retaliation
G.I. Joe Basic
G.I. Joe 50th Anniversary
G.I. Joe Con & Club
G.I. Joe FSS
Forum
Recent Posts Page
Characters
Snake Eyes
Cobra Commander
Destro
Baroness
Storm Shadow
Roadblock
Companies
Fun Pub
IDW
DeNA
Sideshow
Gentle Giant
Boss Fight
Ori Toy
Marauder
HissTank.com
>
HissTank.com - G.I. Joe
Integration
User Name
Remember Me?
Password
Rules
Register
Community
Today's Posts
Search
Community Links
Social Groups
Pictures & Albums
Members List
Search Forums
Show Threads
Show Posts
Advanced Search
Go to Page...
Thread
:
Official Cobra Command Recruitment Thread!!!!
View Single Post
09-27-2015, 01:34 AM
TheDARKWOLF
Cobra K-9 Handler
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: SoCal Terrordrome
Posts: 919
Got a new gig at Extensive Enterprises BAT warehouse as security (nightshift)
This was the 'training' message I got on the first night.
"Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay?
Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Extensive Enterprises. The best place for arms dealers and gun runners alike, where combat and fun come to life. Extensive Enterprises is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced."
Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the Battle Android Troopers here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to shoot those same stupid Joes for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these BATs hold a special place in the heart of Cobra Commander and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay.
So, just be aware, the BATs do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Flaming of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without 70% of its skin, you know?
Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these BATs, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll p-most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its armor on. Now since that's against the rules here at Extensive Enterprises, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a BAT armor. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and robotic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh.
Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night."
- Televiper
__________________
GI Joe Battlegrounds RIP
TheDARKWOLF
View Public Profile
Send a private message to TheDARKWOLF
Find More Posts by TheDARKWOLF
Sponsors
Recent Threads
Classified Night Force Jodie "Shooter"...
New Classified Firefly: Did yours have tight joints or...
Classified Scarlett (Retro)
O-Ring Returns to G.I. Joe
G.I. Joe Classified Series Official Thread 2024!
Top 5 LEAST liked characters or figures from GI Joe
Whose waist is this?
Boss Fight Studio Action Figure Line
Pick the next VAMP-level vehicle
I WANT TO ARGUE! Part XXI, About the 2024 HasLab
Marauder Task Force Super Thread
Customizer's Water Cooler
Movies Unlimited updates
Every Classified Figure Ranked / Classified Figure...
Best of the 80s Custom Project
G.I.Joe Classified Picture thread
Cobra Desert Razorback RC
Bazooka upgrade! (Thanks Metal-head)
G.I. Joe: Wrath of Cobra New Video Game
Super7 Ultimates (Could-be the Official) Thread
Delta-17 o-ring line
Black Out
Duke #5 (Spoilers)
Operation Mosterforce - New 1/12 Line of Figures from...
Super7 x G.I. Joe REACTION and O-RING!
Recent Off Topic Threads
What song are you listening to?
Hisstank Late Night thread...
G.I. Joe March Madness 2024 Round 3 Dreadnok...
G.I. Joe March Madness 2024 Championship Battle Armor...
Joy Toy's Dark Source Line
Recent B/S/T Threads
looking for weapons and assorted pieces 25th Ann -50...
80s GI Joe Vehicles & Aircraft
Hellion42's BST list
Wtb 82-83 file cards or?.
Closet Cleanout...
Vintage Tomahawk for sale, 99% complete
FOR SALE: "Master of Disguise" Zartan, Pulse...
MagicWazard's B/S/T thread