TFW2005
Hisstank
Thundercats
TokuNation
Toyark
Home
News
G.I. Joe Movie
G.I. Joe Classified
G.I. Joe Vintage
Compatible Military Toys
G.I. Joe Comics
G.I. Joe Conventions
All News Categories
Photo Shoots
Database
G.I. Joe Database Index
G.I. Joe Classified
G.I. Joe 25th Anniversary
G.I. Joe Resolute
G.I. Joe Movie
G.I. Joe Pursuit of Cobra
G.I. Joe Renegades
G.I. Joe 30th Anniversary
G.I. Joe Retaliation
G.I. Joe Basic
G.I. Joe 50th Anniversary
G.I. Joe Con & Club
G.I. Joe FSS
Forum
Recent Posts Page
Characters
Snake Eyes
Cobra Commander
Destro
Baroness
Storm Shadow
Roadblock
Companies
Fun Pub
IDW
DeNA
Sideshow
Gentle Giant
Boss Fight
Ori Toy
Marauder
HissTank.com
>
HissTank.com - G.I. Joe
Integration
User Name
Remember Me?
Password
Rules
Register
Community
Today's Posts
Search
Community Links
Social Groups
Pictures & Albums
Members List
Search Forums
Show Threads
Show Posts
Advanced Search
Go to Page...
Thread
:
G.I. Joe Live Action Movie First Draft
View Single Post
05-21-2007, 09:39 PM
DESTRO
Overlord of Evil
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Philly
Posts: 11,489
Quote:
You ready for this?
COOL DUDE
Lorenzo, you mean to tell me that you had to pay an A-List writer his six figure quote to give you an original henchman with a stupid fucking name like COOL DUDE without having the writer or your development staff go down to Meltdown Comics on Sunset or that other comic shop on Melrose, look up the G.I Joe Battle Files Sourcebook for like 5 bucks and not come up with STORM SHADOW, ZARTAN, MAJOR BLUDD, DESTRO or even FIREFLY?!
Are you kidding me?
You know how many cool bad guys exist in G.I.JOE?!
But no, we have to settle for COOL DUDE who is more like CORNY DUDE!
That’s just the tip of the iceberg.
So for the fans what Joes are in this?
DUKE, FLYNT, SNAKE EYES, HI-TECH, HEAVY DUTY, and SCARLETT, along with ALEX MANN.
But folks, these Joes are not what you grew up reading in comics or watching on television. These are bizarro level bastardizations of these characters.
SNAKE EYES speaks in this script, has some eye trouble – hence his name (how fucking original), wears big shades and gets his vocal cords slashed towards the end by COOL DUDE of all people – hence becoming the silent Snake Eyes we all know.
ALEX MANN, DUKE, and SCARLETT are in a love triangle – hence our subplot. She is Duke’s ex girlfriend, marries Alex, and dies at the midpoint at the hands of the Baroness. Consider her lucky she got out this wretched draft early. Any G.I. JOE fan with some common sense knows that Scarlett had a thing for SNAKE
EYES and not DUKE.
Who are the wannabe Cobras or bad guys?
RYAN, a CIA OFFICIAL who speaks in “dudespeak†and on the last page becomes the cobra commander of this wretched script, THE BARONESS, and COOL DUDE. Ryan is the CIA official who strings along G.I. JOE and the twist is that Ryan is THE NAJA, the main bad guy/arms dealer that G.I. JOE has been looking for all along. Ryan even gives that obligatory clichéd why I did it and became evil speech – literally before our big showdown.
That’s it. I hated the Ryan character. He belongs on Venice Beach hitting the waves. THE BARONESS is this henchwoman hot Mata Hari chick with a cobra tattoo down her back. DUMB. DUMB. DUMB.
What’s the stupid plot?
COOL DUDE launches a shoulder-mounted nuclear missile into downtown HONG KONG, and he takes out a couple of city blocks and thousands of civilians. The G.I. JOE team investigates the arms back to AYOOB, an arms dealer who knows the secret identity of THE NAJA, which ends up being Ryan, the CIA official who was stringing along the G.I.JOE team.
That’s it.
http://www.latinoreview.com/scriptreview.php?id=62
I have seen many reviews from El Mayimbe but never like this. He is a great inside source for movie scripts and I have never seen him go off on somebody like this. Lets hope between all the fans (Once this news gets out) and people like El Mayimbe we can save this movie.
__________________
DESTRO
View Public Profile
Send a private message to DESTRO
Visit DESTRO's homepage!
Find More Posts by DESTRO
Sponsors
Recent Threads
Marauder Task Force Super Thread
G.I.Joe Classified Picture thread
Top 5 LEAST liked characters or figures from GI Joe
G.I. Joe Classified Series Official Thread 2024!
Whose waist is this?
Pick the next VAMP-level vehicle
Classified Night Force Jodie "Shooter"...
Classified Scarlett (Retro)
Classified Clutch with VAMP (Multi-Purpose Attack...
O-Ring Returns to G.I. Joe
Super7 Ultimates (Could-be the Official) Thread
New Classified Firefly: Did yours have tight joints or...
Boss Fight Studio Action Figure Line
I WANT TO ARGUE! Part XXI, About the 2024 HasLab
Customizer's Water Cooler
Movies Unlimited updates
Every Classified Figure Ranked / Classified Figure...
Best of the 80s Custom Project
Cobra Desert Razorback RC
Bazooka upgrade! (Thanks Metal-head)
G.I. Joe: Wrath of Cobra New Video Game
Delta-17 o-ring line
Black Out
Duke #5 (Spoilers)
Operation Mosterforce - New 1/12 Line of Figures from...
Recent Off Topic Threads
Hisstank Late Night thread...
What song are you listening to?
G.I. Joe March Madness 2024 Round 3 Dreadnok...
G.I. Joe March Madness 2024 Championship Battle Armor...
Joy Toy's Dark Source Line
Recent B/S/T Threads
looking for weapons and assorted pieces 25th Ann -50...
80s GI Joe Vehicles & Aircraft
Hellion42's BST list
Wtb 82-83 file cards or?.
Closet Cleanout...
Vintage Tomahawk for sale, 99% complete
FOR SALE: "Master of Disguise" Zartan, Pulse...
MagicWazard's B/S/T thread